No picnic

My dog meets the darnedest people on our daily walks.

Exhibit A: Young Lady, Upper West Side.

She looked pleasant and sunny and harmless. Rory used his classic curl-around-your-legs-like-a-cat maneuver that no one can resist. She immediately plopped down on the sidewalk, and they began to cuddle.

After a couple of minutes of this instant friendship, Rory was ready to move on, the corner dog store in his sights.

antsAs the young lady stood up to leave, she said, “I’m surprised he didn’t eat any of the ants on the sidewalk.”

“Ants?”  I hadn’t noticed any.  “Well, I’m glad he didn’t.  Not sure how those would have gone down.”

“I’ve eaten ants before,” she said with a small smile. “They taste like lemon.  That’s probably why your dog wasn’t interested.”

Probably.  And now we all know.

 

Lost in translation

First of all, I want to clarify –

This is not a rant. Think of it more as a ‘huh.’

lost parcelYesterday a package arrived at my door.  It was addressed to a man who hasn’t lived here in almost six years.

I quickly deduced he had selected his old address by accident while shopping online, so I called the company to see if I could help correct his error.

(How nice am I?)

Turns out the company’s customer service just isn’t set up for this type of communication.  All their scripts are for customers, not people like me trying to assist another customer.  The representative I spoke with understood the situation and was definitely working with me to help correct it, but she refused — or maybe wasn’t allowed to? — say anything that was not in her script.

So nothing she said to me made any sense.

Even after we figured out how to resolve the shipment error, she thanked me for my order and hoped I would return again.

You know?  Probably not.

 

 

Don’t go in the water

Yesterday Vulture looked at “Six Forgotten Teen Films of the Late ’90s and Early ’00s.

Erika Christensen, who currently portrays Julia on TV’s Parenthood, starred in one of the movies on the list, a 2003 drama about a high school shooting called Home Room.  

I missed that one — actually, I haven’t seen any of the films listed, making the article title really hit home — but I did see Erika in a movie she made a year earlier:

swimfanSwimfan

(Did you see it?  If not, watch Lifetime any weekend.)

In the film, Erika’s character Madison transfers to a new high school, has a one-night stand with the school’s star swimmer  (Jesse Bradford, whose character already has a girlfriend…dude), and then turns into this bizarre stalker chick.

It is a B-movie classic.

I recognized Erika in the first episode of Parenthood and sometimes still expect her to be that Swimfan stalker.  There was even an episode where she took to the pool to teach her young daughter Sydney how to swim.

There was lots of screaming.

 

Image

New bunnies, old joke

bunnies

For one day only

Have you enjoyed your free cup of McDonalds coffee today?

Your free curly fries from Arby’s?

Or shredded documents (up to five pounds) at Office Depot…for free?

tax day freebiesThese are just a few examples of the Tax Day Freebies that companies around the country are offering today to ease the squeeze on your bank account.

Well…isn’t that special.  Or is it?

Are these retailers — like Great American Cookie who is giving away free chocolate chip — doing this out of the goodness of their hearts (and love of free publicity)?  Or is it for the tax break they can take for offering these incentives?

I would guess the latter. (And really, who can blame them?)

Oh, and if you’re looking for me this evening, I’ll be ‘singing for my supper’ at Hard Rock Cafe — sing a song, get an entree.

Do re free!

Costner can

Kevin Costner does good sports movies.

Field of Dreams.  Bull Durham.  Tin Cup.  And my personal favorite, For Love of the Game.

draft day posterSo his latest filmcentered on the day of the NFL draft — had me at the trailer.  Costner may not deliver in every film (Waterworld comes to mind), but when it comes to sports  –

I believe.

And Draft Day does not disappoint.

The NFL was squarely behind this movie, so all the teams are real franchises.  Costner manages the Cleveland Browns and wheels and deals with teams like the Seattle Seahawks.  There are so many cameos by NFL players and ESPN announcers, you kinda forget it’s a movie; it certainly looks like the actual draft that you’ve seen on TV.

The only clunky part for me is the romantic relationship.  While it can be an integral part in films like For Love of the Game, here Costner’s scenes with co-star Jennifer Garner grind the action to a halt.  While she certainly has reason to distract him, you have to wonder why a sports fan like her would.

It’s draft day, for cripes sake!

 

Food percussion

Since BuzzFeed had so much fun today combining foods into truly creative takes on your morning toast, I didn’t think they’d mind if I added yet another ingredient:

Mr. Toast himself, Heywood Banks!

toast

If you’re not familiar with Heywood, check out this classic Egg. Then visit his website and sing for your daily bread.

YAY TOAST!!