Monthly Archives: October 2009

Me…scared?

I posted my daily blog a bit later than usual today.  The reason is pretty simple.  I saw “Paranormal Activity” yesterday, and falling to sleep last night was a bit…difficult.

Have you seen the trailer?  They call the movie this generation’s “Blair Witch Project.”  It was made in one week for $11,000 by director Oren Peli.  There’s no CGI and no special effects to speak of…just a young couple who feel they are being haunted in their own home who use a video camera to catch the ‘presence’ when it is most active — at night when they are sleeping.

The trailer focuses more on movie audience’s responses to the film than the film itself…and they looked pretty freaked.  That’s why I wanted to see it.  But then, I like movies that are scary without being gory.

Seeing the movie was really fun.  The director did a nice job of building the tension, and the spooky scenes were definitely jump-worthy.  I laughed a lot, too — both at the boyfriend’s apparent cluelessness and at myself for screaming like a little girl.  And the climax?  Perfection.

I didn’t leave the theater creeped out, though, and had no worries about being alone in my apartment or going to bed.

And then I tried to go sleep.

I have never heard so many unidentifiable noises in one night! Someone broke a bottle in the back alley, and when I looked out the window — nothing.  It sounded like my dishwasher was running, but it wasn’t.  I heard Rory walk into the living room, and when I called him, he looked up at me questioningly from the foot of the bed.

I was even running a fan — which usually blocks out unwanted noises — and could still hear every breath in the building.

Now that I’m up and awake, it’s pretty funny.  And I’m still glad I saw “Paranormal Activity.”  In fact, I highly recommend it.

Just go when you can afford to lose some sleep.

Food tube

I’m headed to the New York Wine and Food Festival today. It’s the second annual event, and my second time attending.

Last year I watched Bobby Flay prepare Thanksgiving dinner, and Paula Deen — well, she got carried away talking to the audience and really didn’t cook much of anything…but she was damn entertaining.  I had a blast.

This year I have tickets for food demos by Guy Fieri — “Food Network Star” winner and host of “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” — and Jamie and Bobby Deen, Paula’s two sons.  One of them is a cook, and the other one works more on the business side of the family restaurant, I think.  But does it really matter? They’re funny like their mother and will put on a good show.

I bet a lot of Food Network viewers feel like I do, and maybe the programming bigwigs should take note.  Sure, we expect their TV personalities to be part of the food industry, but how they connect with the audience is their main selling point.

Every year during the finals of “Food Network Star,” the judges get all hyper about the credibility of the winner.  Will the viewers think they are legit chefs?  Does their food taste good?  And then sometimes they end up crowning the less TV-worthy cook.  (Guy Fieri is a big ol’ exception to that rule.)

Here’s a clue, Food Network — we can’t taste the food they are preparing on TV at home.  (Heck, they don’t even feed us at the festival because of insurance reasons.)  So the relationship they form with us via their TV show and live appearances is what makes them legitimate with us.

Look at Rachael Ray.  She’s not a chef; she’s the first to tell you that she’s a cook.  But most importantly, she has the gift of gab — sometimes more than we want to hear — and that gift made her a success more than any cooking credentials.

I bought my tickets to the festival to have a good time, not to read chef bios. And I use my remote control the exact same way.

Don’t go changin’

I don’t follow Miley Cyrus on Twitter, so I didn’t realize that she had shut down her account until I read the headline on PopEater.com.

On the surface, this could be a good thing.  A lot of celebrities today share way too much on Twitter.  It’s like they don’t realize everyone can read it. Case in point: Lindsay Lohan. I don’t follow her either, but the gossip sites love to report the personal crap she slings around as tweets. (Pick up your cellphone, Lindsay. The new package deals are quite affordable.)

But in Miley’s case, she closed her Twitter account because of her new boyfriend, Liam Hemsworth:

“FYI Liam doesn’t have a twitter and he wants ME to delete mine with good reason.”

Soon after, Miley disappeared.

If her boyfriend is the reason she left Twitter, that really bugs me.  Because this is probably just the first in a long line of things Miley will change because of a boy.

What’s next, Miley? Liam doesn’t like the way you wear your hair? Change it.  Doesn’t like the clothes you wear?  Change ‘em.  Doesn’t like your friends?  Change ‘em.

Look, Twitter obviously is not that important.  But if Miley liked having a Twitter account, who is Liam to tell her to shut it down?  Many celebrities use their accounts to publicize their albums or movies, public appearances, even their charity work.  Just because Liam doesn’t tweet doesn’t mean Miley has to give up her stake in this medium.

Girls — and yes, I am generalizing because it is often true — are so quick to compromise in relationships.  It starts with some little thing, and by the time the relationship is over, they are barely recognizable.

So, Miley, just say no.  Stand up for yourself.  Remember, relationships can — and should be — a two-way street.  Tweet if ya wanna.  If Liam really likes you, he’ll like the you that tweets.

I’m just saying…


Like, really?

In a recent phone survey, adults in the US were asked what phrase annoyed them most in conversation.

The winner?  “Whatever” — pronounced “WHAT’-ehv-errr” — annoyed 47 percent of the people surveyed.

I can see that.  Depending on your tone of voice and the context, “whatever” can be rude and dismissive and very annoying.

But “whatever” didn’t just appear at the top of the poll.   Respondents were only given five phrases from which to choose.  The other four were:

  • “Anyway”
  • “It is what it is”
  • “You know”
  • “At the end of the day”

Who was drinking when they came up with this list?  It seems like the deck was pretty well stacked for “whatever” to win most annoying.  The other phrases don’t have any attitude at all, and would only get annoying if used repeatedly.  For instance, if I heard “you know” too many times in one conversation, that would get on my nerves.

(FYI — the survey was conducted by pollsters at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York…which could explain a lot.)

If you ask me, the phrase with the ultimate ability to annoy that should have been included on this list is “like.”  I know so many people who use this word multiple times in each sentence, let alone in each conversation. I am tempted sometimes to secretly tape them and play it back so they can hear how idiotic that one word can make them sound.

Like, no matter, like, what you’re saying, like, it makes you sound, like, stupid, like, you know?

Man…I just annoyed myself.

Crossing the aisle

I’m gonna miss Tom DeLay.

Yeah, I can’t believe I said it, either. The most incredible part? I mean it.

When “Dancing with the Stars” first announced that the former Republican senator was going to be one of the celebrity dancers this season, I was appalled. I am certainly not a fan of his politics nor his record on the Hill, and I found his casting to be the most inappropriate to date.

And then the season started. They paired Tom DeLay with professional dancer Cheryl Burke, who makes every celebrity she teams with look amazing. (Note — last year she danced with model/actor Giles Marini — the naked guy from the “Sex and the City” movie? — so he certainly returned the favor. But I digress…)

Amid the lights and music, Tom DeLay was transformed into this charming, high-energy, willing-to-do-anything-on-the-dance-floor mega performer. He was as liberal with his dance moves as he is conservative in his politics.

Although 62 years of age, Tom DeLay was game for anything that Cheryl Burke threw at him. Even after suffering stress fractures in not one but both feet, he still competed on Monday night. He was a trooper. I mean, how could you not like the guy?

Last night, he was finally forced to call it quits. He was in too much pain to practice, and the doctors were pretty much demanding it.  And it really was time. I was starting to hold my breath when he danced out of concern for his health.

That’s right. I was worried about Tom DeLay. Leave it to “Dancing with the Stars” to inspire my first real bipartisan act.

Candy crimes

I’m sucking on a cinnamon Jolly Rancher as I type this, so my point of view may be suspect.

I am loving the study results recently published from Cardiff University in Great Britain.  Lead researcher Simon Moore, who specializes in the study of ‘vulnerable youth,’  reported that kids who eat a lot of sugary treats when they are young commit more serious crimes in adulthood.

Say what?

Apparently Moore found that diet more so than any other environmental or social factor was a predictor for violent behavior later in life.  I find this fascinating!

As a child who loved — and continues to love — candy and sugary snacks, I feel like I fall right into Moore’s pool of future violent offenders.  And yet — to date, at least — I can’t say that I have done anything to fulfill my destiny of a life of crime.

When I think of all the Hot Tamales and Spice Drops and BB Bats and Kit Kat Carmels and Bit O’ Honey that I have eaten over my lifetime, I should have at the very least held up a 7-11 by now.

Who knows?  Maybe I’m saving it all up for murder one.   Or I perhaps I will start thermonuclear war!

Hey, I gotta live up to my potential.

No contest

Television is wimpy.

If movies and TV shows met in a dark alley, movies would kick their butts…easy.

Just take a look at the subject matter of the top movie box office for this past weekend alone:

  • a band of zombie fighters
  • a machine that turns water into food
  • the first man to ever tell a lie in the world
  • people using surrogates to live their lives
  • a roller derby league for women
  • a documentary on capitalism
  • a performing arts high school
  • an executive who turns informant
  • a motivational speaker who doesn’t practice what he preaches

Would any of those story lines ever be a TV series?  No.  (Well, maybe the last one…and that’s because it’s the worst of the lot.)

For some reason, television executives have decided that the only dramas that audiences want to see revolve around hospitals, police stations and courtrooms.  This year they got all excited and found a new angle — nurses.  Awesome…that totally changes things.

In comedy, it’s all about the non-traditional family.  Which version do you prefer?  Courtney Cox in “Cougartown?”  Julia Louis-Dreyfus in “The New Adventures of Old Christine?”  Or the male equivalent in “Gary Unmarried” or “Two and a Half Men”?

Even reality shows are just giving us the same thing over and over again.  “Dancing with the Stars”  and “So You Think You Can Dance” co-mingled with “The Biggest Loser” to begat “Dancing Your Ass Off.”  Kill me now.

Why can’t series television show a tenth of the creativity and risk-taking of movies?  Sometimes it does…in series like “Glee” and “Mad Men” and “True Blood.”  And in case the networks don’t get it — that’s why audiences have gone crazy.

Hey, look — television series about something different…a high school choral group, and an ad agency set in the 1950′s, and a New Orleans town inhabited by vampires and shape shifters.

Not a doctor or lawyer or cop in the bunch.  And we’re still watching.

Stings, doesn’t it?

Unreal money

I am a reality TV snob.

Don’t get me wrong.  I watch it.  I have been with ‘American Idol’ since the very beginning, and converted to “Dancing with the Stars” the year that Emmett Smith took home the mirror ball trophy.

But I only watch reality TV shows that are competitions.  And I’m talking talent competitions…not competitions for love like “The Bachelor,” or for basic survival like, well, “Survivor.”  You definitely won’t catch me listening to idiots sitting on the couch talking trash on “Big Brother,” “The Housewives of New York City,” or “The Hills.”

But yesterday I read an article listing the salaries of some of these reality TV stars, and I’m starting to think they are way smarter than they appear.

“The Housewives of New York City” ladies, for example, are reportedly making $30,000 per episode. When Jon and Kate Gosselin were still speaking — and “Jon and Kate + 8″ was on the air — they pulled in $75,000 a show.  Even the girls  on “The Hills” get $90-100,000 per episode.

Heck, even the worst celebrity dancer on “Dancing with the Stars” — the one who gets voted off first, the one we feel bad for — is guaranteed $125,000 for simply showing up.

How many times have I sat on the couch and shook my head at the news of the antics of these reality TV stars?  Turns out, they were just living up to their high price tag.

Remind me again — why do we call it reality TV?

One man’s lie…

You might expect the trailers for a movie called “The Invention of Lying” to skirt the truth a bit.  And boy, do they.

The movie is about the first man who ever lied…and how his subsequent lies changed his life and the lives of his family, friends and ultimately, the world.

But the marketing campaign leaves out a lot. While the promos do portray the movie as a comedy — and rightly so — “The Invention of Lying” is also quite poignant at times.  This is a rather dramatic role for Ricky Gervais, and he performs it beautifully. Who knew such a sarcastic so-and-so had such range?

There are also dozens of amazing celebrity cameos that made me laugh aloud in surprise.  (I will point out that at these moments, my laugh was often the only one you heard in the theater; I guess I’m better at spotting a cameo than some.)

Perhaps the biggest omission from the trailers is the subject matter of the lies that Gervais’ character tells.  That was a very smart move.  If they had revealed this information in the marketing, a substantial chunk of the potential audience might have stayed away.  This way, they’ll already be in the audience and in a good mood when it’s revealed.  And hopefully, they won’t feel judged.

So, while I am often annoyed when movie marketing gives you the wrong impression about a film — for example, when movies like “The Family Stone” come off like feel-good comedies in the promos and then spring cancer on you — I applaud “The Invention of Lying” for holding back.

It’s a great film.  It’s funny and smart and surprising and actually makes you think.  And thanks to the marketing, a whole lot more people will see it.

(The preceding message is true.)

Big brother

I had a long day on Thursday.  Got home late. Was walking Rory and thought “I’ve earned pizza.”  Then I said “pizza” aloud, which made Rory very excited and pretty much sealed the deal.  I was going to order pizza.

Now, I usually do this online, but I couldn’t remember my password and was too hungry to wait until I got home. So I dialed 411 to get the store’s number. Before I could even tell the operator which location I needed, she figured it out….somehow.

Weird.  All I told her was ‘Manhattan’ and ‘Dominos.’  There must be 50 of them. (Don’t give me a hard time for going chain — I love their thin crust.)

Anyway, the pizza guy answers, and I tell him I have a delivery order.  He replies, “Sure. Same thing as last time — thin crust pepperoni and cinnamon bread?”

Okay. I’ve never called this store before.  Sure, they probably fulfill my online orders, and my cellphone number is in that profile, but still.  All this convenience, all this instant knowledge of who you are and what you want — it’s creepy.

It did get my pizza to me in less than 15 minutes.

But what else do they know…ya know?