Monthly Archives: November 2009

New “New Moon”

Roger Ebert hated it.

The New York Times dismissed it as the “big tease that turns into the long goodbye.”  (Gotta love the wordplay.)

And rottentomatoes.com ranked it 29% rotten.

Good work, “Twilight Saga: New Moon.”   You are even less popular with critics than your predecessor, “Twilight,” which more or less confused journalists last fall, scoring 49% on the freshometer.  (Edward actually glamoured the ones that hated it.  Fact.)

Of course, “New Moon” wasn’t filmed, edited and released in less than a year to please the critics.  It was rushed to theatres to capitalize on the pre-teen, teen and cougar crazies who were screaming for more. (I realize I fall within this group, although my self-awareness makes me a shade less scary).

But while I loved the “Twilight” movie and subsequently read all the books, I hated the “New Moon” book.  I know many of my friends felt the same.  Hated that Edward left after just a chapter or two.  Labored through all the werewolf crap ’cause, seriously –  Where the hell was Edward? Of course, I perked up at the end of the book, but if I had encountered Stephenie Meyer on the street at that point, we would have had words.

Director Chris Weitz of “New Moon” knew fans like me were out there, too.  So he made a film that’s better than the book.  No mistake — he stuck to the story more religiously than even the “Twilight” movie did, but his visual interpretation is more satisfying than Meyer’s original text.

How often does that happen?

Now, granted, I saw the movie at midnight at a theatre in my Upper West Side neighborhood, so you might think I’m a tad giddy.  I was worried about staying awake or being coherent.  But when 500 other people are watching a movie with you, and they are just as stoked as you are to be there, it makes for a great movie-going experience.

I had a blast.  I loved the movie.  Story aside, the cinematography, effects and makeup are head-and-shoulders above the original.  It’s just a beautiful movie to watch.

Oh — and Edward doesn’t suck either.

Well, he does.  But, he doesn’t.

People bites

Just yesterday, my friend Dan commented on how quiet I had been about the rapidly approaching premiere of “Twilight Saga: New Moon.”  (It’s midnight tonight, in case you’re wondering.)

I took this as a big compliment.  As an avid Twi-hard, I know I tend to chat up this particular franchise to anyone who displays even an iota of interest (i.e., breathes air), so I have tried not to belabor the topic here.

But today, guys, I gotta let loose…because an injustice of such magnitude has occurred, it cannot be ignored:

Robert Pattinson was not named People Magazine’s 2009 Sexiest Man Alive.

What the — wha?!??!

This is one year that pretty much everyone — and I mean everyone, not just Twi-hards — knew that Robert Pattinson had Sexiest Man Alive sewn up.  There was no real competition — that is, if you were looking at things from a topical, trend-driven, male, SEXY point of view.

And somehow the editors of  People still managed to screw it up.

Johnny Depp?  Gorgeous, yes.  He was Sexiest Man Alive back in 2003.  But this year?  Why this year?  His movie “Public Enemies” kinda tanked at the box office.  He did shoot “Alice in Wonderland” — which comes out in 2010 — but, seriously, which is sexier:  a vampire or the Mad Hatter?  Oh, and don’t forget the voice work he did for “Spongebob Squarepants” — wow, that’s hot.

Now, some would argue that naming Robert Pattinson Sexiest Man Alive this week would make it appear that People was part of the whole “Twilight” movie promotion machine.  A fine point.  Their magazine might get lost amongst all the other covers with RPatz right now.

But that’s thinking like a corporation.  You should publish for your audience.  And let me ask you, People Magazine — who would your readers say is the 2009 Sexiest Man Alive?  Johnny Depp because he needs a media bump before his new movie hits?  Or Robert Pattinson because he has dominated the imagination of movie goers for the past year?

I think we all know the answer.  And not giving the title to the most deserving man that really sucks.

Pun intended.

List lust

“Top 10 Celebrity Break-Ups We Secretly Cheered”

“Top 10 Banned Books”

“Top 10 Ways to Stimulate the Economy”

“Top 10 Chick Flicks for Guys”

“Top 10 Ways to Survive the Flu”

What is it about Top 10 lists? David Letterman made them funny, and the Internet has made them ubiquitous.

It seems like every website — whether it be news, sports, weather, celebrity gossip, or travel tips — utilizes Top 10 lists to create quick content that draws clicks. And it works…when the copy is short and snappy, and the photos are telling.  Heck, when I see a Top 10 list, I usually hit that link (especially if celebrity fashion disasters are involved).

And now there’s a website where the most popular online Top 10 lists are all gathered together — toptenz.net.  No more surfing all over the Internet to find Top 10 lists — I mean, really, who has the  time?  And toptenz.net has some real doozies on it.  My current favorite?  “Top 10 Two-Headed Animals.”  (How do you get to the top of that list?  Wear the best hat?  Aspire for a third head?  Bi-zarre.)

What is the weirdest/funniest/whackiest/sweetest/wrongest Top 10 list you’ve found online?  Post the link here as a comment.  Share the wealth!  Share the joy!

We’ll create our own Top 10 Top 10 lists…’cause that’s what the Internet really needs.

Social save

What do you do if you’re Myspace.com, and everyone who is anyone in the social media realm has already declared you dead and buried?

Well…you could host the Internet live stream of the LA premiere of “Twilight Saga: New Moon” on November 16th and pull in over 200,000 unique visitors at the height of the webcast.

Turns out vampires aren’t the only undead in town.

I personally haven’t visited my page on myspace.com in over a year, but when I heard they were hosting the live stream of the red carpet, I hit that URL.  I might have been watching “Dancing with the Stars,” but I streamed the celebrity interviews in the background and tuned in when a star of note stepped up to the microphone.

Myspace.com was also smart enough to link the webcast to Twitter, Facebook, and AIM so folks could chat while they were watching the “New Moon” red carpet.

Integration with the other social media sites might be their best chance for survival….if anyone still cares, that is.

(Sorry.)

Whine and dine

I happened upon “The Bonnie Hunt Show” during my business travels last week, and her floor director made a comment that I’m thinking about putting on a t-shirt.

Bonnie was teasing him about the number of cookies he was eating before the show, and he replied, “I’m an adult now. I can eat as many cookies as I want.  I’m in charge of me.”

Damn straight.

Even at my age, I am asked time and time again to explain my behavior, simply because it goes against some preconceived societal norm.  The one that irks me the most?

You don’t want wine with dinner?  Everyone else is having a glass.”

I am so tired of answering this question.  Why should my not drinking alcohol ever be an issue?  But for some reason, it is.  And I find myself explaining, again and again.

Do I ever make people explain why they choose beer…or wine…or a mixed drink?  No.  Because I don’t care what they drink.  It doesn’t affect my enjoyment of what I’m drinking or eating, so why should my decision to drink iced tea affect theirs?

Heck, iced tea looks like liquor — a darn big glass of it — so by all appearances, I’m drinking.  And if you’ve hung around with me, you know iced tea makes me very, very happy, and when I’m happy, I’m very, very social.

Yes, this is a pet peeve.  But I feel better having vented. Thanks for listening.  Heck, let’s all go grab a cookie…or two…or five.

We’re all adults here, right?



Let the games continue!

Let the makers of XBox, GameBoy, Nintendo, and every other video, digital, and handheld game rejoice — it’s not your fault!

Up to now, society has been happy to point the finger firmly in your direction when people asked: why are America’s teenagers so fat?

“They’re sitting inside all day and night, playing those evil video games!”

“They’re not getting enough exercise — they just sit and stare at their computers!”

Why not blame technology?  The theory was a pretty easy sell.  But a recent study confirms that, over the past two decades, the amount of exercise that teens are getting has not changed.

They still aren’t getting enough, but the advent of technology hasn’t made the numbers worse.

Thank goodness. I can keep typing.

Yep, the real culprit is — you guessed it — diets with too much fat and calories.

Hope they didn’t pay too much for that study. (Should have used their computers more…)

Cinema bondage

What is the last movie you bonded with?

Bonded — you know what that feels like. Where you are smiling before it ends.  Where you join everyone applauding at the end.  Can’t stop thinking about it that night…or the next day.  Bore your friends and family talking about it, practically recruiting people to go see it.

And end up seeing it again at the theatre…at today’s prices.

What was your last movie bonding experience?

My friend Caroline and I were discussing this topic last night at dinner.  She hasn’t had this feeling for a very long time — she estimates, in fact, since she saw the movie “Chicago” way back in 2002.  (Wow — I still find that hard to believe.)

Now, I go to the movie a bit more frequently than Caroline…and to fewer with talking animals. So I feel I have more opportunities to see films that give me those bonding moments. But even I had to pull up imdb.com to remind me what movies in 2009 had given me that special-wecial feeling.

My choice to date for 2009?

“500 Days of Summer.”  I saw it at a special sneak preview in New York City.  I loved, loved, loved this ‘anti-romantic comedy’ — that’s what the critics quickly dubbed it — and I know I bored a lot of people afterward, encouraging them to go see this incredible little indie film.  I hope you saw it.  If not, add it to your Netflix queue….now

So, what film did you bond with in 2009?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Water torture

There’s a regular feature in Sports Illustrated called “Signs of the Apocalypse.”  The editors include sports-related news of the weird that they feel signals the end of days.

SI, I have a submission for you:  the ABC series “Wipeout.”

Have you seen it?

Contestants willingly hurl their bodies through a wacky, water obstacle course while original “Talk Soup” host John Henson makes fun of them falling head-first into the drink — because they always fall.

Jeff Jensen at Entertainment Weekly said, “I think the sight of people violently smashing face-first into big rubber balls, over and over and over and over and over again, is totally hilarious.”

I disagree.

I could only stomach the show for a few minutes.  These people are totally humiliating  (and possibly paralyzing) themselves on national television.  I’m sure there’s some kind of prize if you complete the obstacle course without falling into the water, but seriously — has anyone ever done that?

Last week during filming, a 33-year old contestant suffered a stroke. (I’m not all that surprised; I almost had one just watching it.)  Guys, the poor man died.

So, ABC — take note.  This show isn’t just stupid and humiliating.  It’s dangerous.

Stop playing with your balls.

Swift reactions

I didn’t watch the CMAs last night.  (GLEE was on — I mean, seriously.)

But like most television commentators, that won’t stop me from having an opinion on the broadcast or sharing it here.

God bless the USA.

Rumor has it Taylor Swift won four awards including “Entertainer of the Year.” Reaction was swift — pardon the pun,  I like it so much I’m using it twice — and negative.

When show host Brad Paisley tried to compliment Taylor on her win at such an early age, his co-host Carrie Underwood — who lost to Taylor in the Best Female Vocalist of the Year category — interrupted to praise themselves as event hosts.

Meow.

Then, Wynonna Judd, when asked to comment on Taylor’s win — which makes her the youngest ever “Entertainer of the Year”– said:

“You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon.  Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once. It’s just too much of a good thing too soon.”

Cold.

Of course, Taylor is young.  She celebrated her big win with a cereal party with her mom and dad.

Awwwww.

But after watching her do such as a great job on “Saturday Night Live” last week as both musical and guest host — which is something most people aren’t talented enough to even attempt — I’d say Taylor can hold her own.  Everyone else just better get used to having her around.

Those comments?  Well, they make you sound bitter.  And cranky.

And old.

La la la.

Ha ha ha.

All due respect

Today is Veterans’ Day.

As the proud sister of a retired Army Lt. Colonel and veteran of the first Persian Gulf War, and the daughter of a veteran of the Korean War, I want to send a personal note of thanks to all service men and women, past and present, for their dedication and service to our country.

When I watched the clip of President Obama’s speech at the memorial service at Fort Hood, Texas yesterday, I was saddened by the tragic, senseless loss, but at the same time, uplifted by the words of comfort that our commander in chief so eloquently offered.

“For those families who have lost a loved one, no words can fill the void that’s been left.  We knew these men and women as soldiers and caregivers.  You knew them as mothers and fathers; sons and daughters; sisters and brothers.

But here is what you must also know:  Your loved ones endure through the life of our nation.  Their memory will be honored in the places they lived and by the people they touched.  Their life’s work is our security, and the freedom that we all too often take for granted.  Every evening that the sun sets on a tranquil town; every dawn that a flag is unfurled; every moment that an American enjoys life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness — that is their legacy.”

What a beautiful tribute to the fallen.  And, I believe, his words come from a place of deepest respect.  President Obama will not put our service men and women at risk without just cause.

What a difference a year makes.