When I was but a wee lass, I watched Dark Shadows every afternoon after school.
It scared the bejeezers out of me.
Barnabas Collins, the vampire who ‘lived’ at the Collinwood estate, made me jump out of my skin. More than once, I had to walk outside into the bright sunshine because I was too spooked to watch what happened next.
So I was particularly excited to see what horrors Tim Burton’s remake would hold, especially with his favorite lead Johnny Depp occupying the role of Barnabas.
Then I saw the trailer this weekend on television and quickly discovered…
The new Dark Shadows is a comedy.
True, it’s a dark comedy, and I can appreciate their sense of humor. I’ll no doubt go see it out of curiosity at the very least.
But I’m sad to say that Depp’s version of Barnabas will never elicit a single gasp of fear or horror.
Except, perhaps, at the 70’s clothing.