Category Archives: Airplanes

It’s a living

Posted on May 22, 2013 | Leave a comment

I can be chatty in airport gate areas if I’m bored — even more so if my plane is delayed by weather.

Last night at DFW I ended up commiserating with a fellow passenger as we waited for our flight.  He was from Brooklyn, and sold..

Helicopters

hermes-helicopter2He had gone to Dallas to deliver one to a corporate client and was headed home.

I found his job to be very entertaining.  I don’t know exactly why.

I’m sure selling helicopters is not that different from selling cars or trucks or farm machinery.  But it is just such a niche….and absolutely the last thing I expected him to say in the long list of possible occupations.

And I kept thinking, “Man, where was this guy when I was doing improv comedy back in Kansas City?“

‘Helicopter salesman’ would have been such a great suggestion.

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Posted in Airplanes, Business, Comedy, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel, Weather

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Dear New York City airports,

Posted on April 28, 2013 | Leave a comment

I will be headed back your way in less than 48 hours. Coming home is always a pleasure. But let’s be honest, my Big Apple airstrips…

Youse guys are fugly.

My current trip through Narita-Tokyo Airport en route to Singapore drove that point home…hard. I only spent two hours in Japan, and the ultramodern, high-tech facility convinced me that JFK and LGA need a major redo.

2013-04-28_09.08.16We can begin with a fun identity for each of you. Look at this little guy; he graces most of the signage at Narita Airport.

What is he?  Who cares? He’s cute… and LaGuardia could use a major dose of cuteness… JFK, too.

There’s nothing cute about either of you now.  No offense.

And speaking of high-tech, check out this gadget in the airport restrooms in Narita.

2013-04-28_09.14.23The facilities in Japan have talents that go far beyond the simple flush. (Come to think of it, everyone was smiling a lot.)

Lastly, you need better food…but I’ve always said that.

Okay, NYC airports, get started.  I’ll be back in two days, and I am expecting great things!

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Posted in Advertising, Airplanes, Commentary, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel

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So far, everything is tall

Posted on April 27, 2013 | 1 Comment

Greetings from Singapore!

It took exactly 24 hours of travel time, but I’ve arrived on the other side of the world. And since we crossed several time zones, it’s already the wee hours of the morning Sunday.

(Don’t worry — I’ll get that time back on the way home.)

My room is at the very top of one the hotel’s three towers and overlooks the city. Here is a taste of what I can see:

marina bay sands view

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

During the drive in from the airport, I also discovered quite nearby the Singapore Flyer, a large ferris wheel similar in scope to the London Eye.

SONY DSC

 

 

 

 

 

 

I may need to check that out in the morning.

What am I talking about it?  It’s morning already!  Time to get some sleep and adjust to Singapore time.

Tall order.

 

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Posted in Airplanes, Business, Humor, Life, Photography, Travel

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Safety is fun!

Posted on April 13, 2013 | 2 Comments

Move over, Southwest Airlines.  There’s a new contender for ‘funniest in the air.’

Delta Airlines

Their new safety video is filled with sight gags large and small.  I’ve seen it on two flights, and am still discovering all the little surprises they have left for the attentive viewer.

juggling chainsawscartwheelsMy favorites?  Bogus safety stickers featured on distant cabin walls.  Sure, we are used to observing “No smoking” and “No electronics”…but “No juggling chainsaws” and “No cartwheels”?

(The video version on my flight also featured “No comb overs”, which I sadly could not find online.)

A robot turns himself off when the cabin door shuts.  The main spokesperson changes clothing and accessories for no apparent reason. And remember the “cat lady” who did the previous safety video for Delta? She makes a cameo, too.

It’s worth a watch or two or seven.  I’ve never enjoyed a safety video more. Or, in fact…

Watched one.

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Posted in Humor, Internet, Travel, Entertainment, Comedy, Life, Commentary, Airplanes, transportation

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Bribes accepted here

Posted on March 27, 2013 | Leave a comment

I flew home from Frankfurt today, and the fine folks at Delta upgraded me to Business Class — a first for me on an international flight.

I hope it’s not the last.

Sure, the attendants are friendlier, and the food is fresher and more readily available.  But the real selling point?

business classSPACE

When you have a nine hour flight, being able to stretch out your legs — and even lie down if you want — is the greatest luxury of all.

Thanks again, Delta, for showing me some love.

How ’bout we keep our relationship at this level…hmmmm?

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Posted in Humor, Travel, Business, Life, Airplanes, Furniture

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Quick trip

Posted on March 7, 2013 | Leave a comment

I just attended a business meeting at an airport hotel.

hilton chicagoNot near the airport. Not within two miles.  Not conveniently offering a hotel shuttle.

In the airport itself.

I never went outside. I never saw the city. Heck, I never even saw the sun except from the meeting room windows (and we drew the shades).

Then I jumped on a plane and headed home — on an earlier flight, no less, because I was at the airport and could.

Is it wrong to want to minimize the travel in my business travel?  To reduce the trip to the quickest way between points A and B and back again?  To forget the city my meeting was in because I never made it to the city?

You know, I’m okay with that.  ‘Cause I’m almost home.

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Posted in Airplanes, Business, Commentary, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel

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35,000 feet treats

Posted on March 1, 2013 | Leave a comment

Guess who took the flight with me today from New York City to Dallas?

garrettsGarrett’s Popcorn

American Airlines is now offering the yummy treat — a favorite when I travel to Chicago — on their afternoon flights over two hours.

It’s a mix of cheese and caramel corn — that perfect combination of sweet and salty — that disappears pretty darn quickly when you are reading a good book or watching the in-flight movie or trying to ignore the screaming baby.

(The baby rode with me today as well.)

I know the airlines are always trying to find ways to differentiate themselves — I think American needs to feature Garrett’s in their ads.

It’s that good, people.

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Posted in Airplanes, Commentary, Foods, Humor, Life, Travel

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The happiest place on Earth

Posted on January 25, 2013 | Leave a comment

image

I was at Disney World today — well, at a resort hotel — but didn’t get a chance to hang with Mickey or Harry. So I played with Photo Editor at the airport instead.

That’s a chandelier at the Loews Potofino Bay Hotel — cropped and flopped and posterized.

I think it’s kinda magical. ;)

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Posted in Airplanes, Design, Humor, Life, Photography, Travel

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Money go bye-bye

Posted on January 22, 2013 | Leave a comment

Have you ever wondered how budget airlines can offer such low fares?

Pull up a chair.

Airplane-Taking-OffI flew Spirit Airlines today for the first time. The one-way flight from New York City to Fort Lauderdale was an incredible $83…so I bit. And learned how they quickly make up the difference.

It’s kinda ingenious.

While all airlines charge for checked baggage, Spirit also charges for carry-on bags beyond your one personal item. And that charge is on a sliding scale: $30 online, $50 at the counter, $100 at the gate.

Yowsa.

Plus, it’s cheaper to check the bag.  Needless to say, I had no trouble finding overhead space on today’s flight.

Spirit also charges for all in-flight drinks and food, following the movie theater practice of combo meals. So folks who want a soda end up spending more because it appears to be a better value to buy more.

Yep.  When all was said and done, I’m pretty sure my ‘budget’ flight cost as much or more than the Delta flight that was my second choice.

Oh well.  I did get animals crackers with my Diet Coke.

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Posted in Airplanes, Business, Commentary, transportation, Travel

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Snap to it

Posted on December 13, 2012 | Leave a comment

I arrived home on the red-eye at 5 o’clock this morning.

red eyeEven though I’m typically a good sleeper on overnight flights, the day after always hurts.  A lot.

But today was different.

I didn’t hit my usual mid-afternoon wall.  Didn’t feel the need to weep in the early evening.  Actually felt normal.   And I owe it all to an early morning head nod.

I had only been home for an hour or so, and was grabbing breakfast while watching a show on DVR.  Suddenly my spoon hit the floor, and my head snapped forward.

I don’t know who jumped more, me or the dog.

But after that teeny tiny cat nap — which lasted probably five seconds — I felt great.  I felt focused, I felt awake, and I plowed through a day of paperwork and conference calls without a droopy eyelid or yawn in sight.

Just call it my version of the ‘bend and snap!’  So efficient…and effective.  Hope I can make it a habit.

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Posted in Airplanes, Humor, Life, Travel

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