Category Archives: Astrology

Starstruck

Like nostalgia?

This image of the Pinwheel Galaxy, captured by four NASA telescopes, is estimated to be millions of years behind.

Wrap your head around that one, and have a nice day.

Where there’s smoke

For people who celebrate Chinese New Year — or just heart Chinese food — today marks the official beginning of the Year of the Dragon.  According to legend, the dragon is a symbol of good fortune, intense power and authority.

That’s so hot.

But I have to wonder – what kind of dragon will 2012 be?

Will it be like the dragon in the first Shrek movie — ferocious and fire-breathing one moment, then a puddle of mush the next, all because of the attentions of a wise-cracking yet lovable Donkey?

(And how many months of the year will be fire-like, and how many mush?)

Or will 2012 be a dragon with a temperament more in keeping with the three beasts in the Tri-Wizard Tournament in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?  They also breathed fire and brimstone, but were initially restrained by bars and chains.  When they finally broke free, they fought till the death to vanquish their enemies.

Not sure I want to go up against a year like that.

No, I would prefer the Year of the Dragon to be more like Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon.  He was first misunderstood and underestimated, but man oh man — didn’t he end up being exactly the kind of dragon you wanted on your team when the going got tough.

Yep.  That’s the 2012 I’d like to see.

Moon landing

I finished my Christmas shopping this morning.  Bought the final gift online, picked a shipping date and sent it on its merry way.

It’s a great feeling.

But wouldn’t you know it?  As soon as I crossed everyone’s name off my list, I discovered the perfect present for any hard-to-buy-for person.  It’s another exciting Google search find:

Lunar Land

That’s right.  You or someone you love can join the over 5,000,000 people from 176 countries who own personal property on Earth’s sexiest satellite.

According to the website, Lunar Embassy is the only company to possess the ‘legal basis and copyright’ for Lunar Land.  It is available in a variety of packages, all which include one lunar acre of land.  (The amount of documentation included drives the price.)

Our family draws names at Christmas, and as soon as the pairings are announced, the emails start flying, requesting gift ideas.

If only I had discovered Lunar Land even an hour sooner!

To the moon, Alice! — Ralph Kramden, The Honeymooners

Soaring profits

Survived the rapture, did you?

Don’t think of it as ‘being passed over.’  You’re an American – make money from your rejection!

There’s even a common sense guide to help you get started.

Written before the last regularly scheduled rapture, “How to Profit from the Coming Rapture” offers sound — if tongue-in-cheek — financial guidance for those of us left on Earth to fend for ourselves.  (If you’re reading this, that means you.)

The writers, while having a bit of fun with the whole notion, apparently quote actual Bible verses and legends to support their economic theories.  It all sounds a bit Book of Mormon to me.  And since I love that Broadway show, I’m guessing this book will be fun, too!

What, you say?  I haven’t read the book yet?  Of course not!  I had to wait and see if I got called aboard the mothership!

Now…let’s all get RICH!!!

Star date

My favorite class in college was astronomy.

I initially took it just to avoid chemistry and ended up loving it.  A lot of the credit goes to my professor, Dr. Tom Troland.  His lectures were always filled with jokes, obscure facts, and interesting stories.  We students were so busy having fun, we were surprised to discover how much we’d learned at the end of each class.

I learned a lot…like the fact that May Day, 1930 is the anniversary of the naming of the ninth planet Pluto.

Well — the former planet, I should say.  It was stripped of its major planet status in 1906.

Sucks to be the last child — I’ve always said it.

Pluto lost its status because the International Astronomical Union changed the rules in 2006. According to the new guidelines, Pluto didn’t have enough mass relative to the other objects in its orbit to be considered a major planet.

Now it’s a dwarf.

A lot of people protested the reclassification; many scientists chose to ignore it.  The New Mexico House of Representatives and Illinois State Senate both passed resolutions that Pluto will always be considered a planet in their night skies.

The American Dialect Society even chose “to pluto” — “to demote or devalue something” as their Word of the Year in 2006.

Did you know that Pluto wasn’t a planet anymore?  Today is a good day to learn more about it.

Blood type

Now that the phrase ‘tiger’s blood’ has invaded pop-speak, you might secretly be wondering if you have it. Well, that all depends…

Are you a yin (dragon) or a yang (tiger)?

Yep.  The Chinese philosophy of feng shui — and the over 3,000 year old yin-yang theory — can help you answer a question posed oh-so-recently by the drug-addled brain of Charlie Sheen.

Yin-yang theory is the belief that everything in the universe is comprised of complementary elements.  The yin (dragon) represents more feminine traits, the yang (tiger) more masculine qualities.

And you only have to answer 10 simple questions to know which way your blood is boiling!

Take the test.  How’d ya do?

I am a bit of both, so if I do have any ‘tiger’s blood,’ I fear it’s been diluted by the dragon within.

THANK GOD.

Star seach

What’s your sign?

Not so easy to answer these days, is it?

Scientists say the constellations have shifted position in the night sky, which means our astrological signs may have moved by as much as a month.  People who have thought themselves Pisces their whole lives are now Aries.  Aries now Taurus.  These scientists are even trying to insert a new 13th sign into the mix — a freaky one called “Ophiuchus,” the snake bearer.

Well.  That sounds like…fun.

Astrologers say to ignore all the hoopla.  Apparently Western astrology isn’t based on the constellations; it’s based on the four seasons, and they don’t change.  So the 12 signs should remain as is, regardless of whether the stars have moved or not.  In fact, they ding FOX News for picking up the story and confusing the facts in the first place.

Meow.

Me?  I’m more a fan of the Chinese zodiac and their 12-year calendar of animal signs.  I was born in the Year of the Rabbit, a very lucky sign which bestows all kinds of positive traits on its children.

Graciousness.  Good manners.  Sound counsel.  Kindness.  Sensitivity to beauty. Soft speech.  Grace.

Well, I got some of those.

(Remember, I’m a sticky egg.  We are lucky to get hand-me-downs.)