Category Archives: Business

What’s that smell?

My ride to work this morning was long and slow because of an incident on one of the subway tracks. So I spent a lot of time with my fellow riders.

You’ve heard of ‘resting bitch face?’ One of ladies in my subway car had ‘resting stink face.’

My apologies to Emma Stone, but she looked much like this the entire ride.
Her expression didn’t change. She looked around. She read her paper. She searched for gum in her purse. All the while — resting stink face.

I found myself sniffing the air, trying to find the source of her disgust, but could find nothing more than the usual subway aromas.

Suddenly resting bitch face seemed calm and serene.

Oh, my aching neck

Really big necklaces.

Like…HUGE.

big disc necklaceI see them everywhere on the subway these days.

Women are wearing them with the expected dresses and business suits, but also with casual tees and jeans.

I mentioned they are HUGE, right?

Some I like. Most not so much.

But I have noticed one very strange phenomena — and I admit, I am generalizing, but have seen enough to claim a trend — many of the women who favor these really big (HUGE) necklaces seem to think wearing them diverts attention from the rest of their person.

So, no need to do their hair. Or put on even the tiniest bit of makeup. Just don the really big necklace, and it will do the heavy lifting for their ensemble.

Or, I guess in this case, the heavy pulling down of their neck toward the ground.

Not working.

Keep your hands to yourself

Have you ever been riding the subway, spied the emergency brake and had a passing urge to pull it and see what happened?

emergencybrakeI think we all have.

But then we stop and consider the resulting delays and fines and possible imprisonment, and we don’t.

‘Cause we smarter than that.

But not the joker on my train tonight.

No, he decided to give that ol’ brake a pull. So, now we all know what happens.

First, it definitely stops the train. And apparently the conductors can’t tell where on the train the brake was pulled. So, they have to walk down the line, car by car, and see where the incident occurred.  Which takes a long, long time.

Eventually, they opened a single door and let people file out of the train…so I was able to jump on another subway line and get home.

Did the culprit get his due?  I don’t know.  But in my mind…

He did. Oh yes, he did.

Image

Sweet dress

image

Going nowhere

See this sign?

image

It wasn’t on the elevator at my hotel this morning when I got on… when I and another guest got stuck on our way to breakfast.

Luckily, the phone in the elevator worked and the repairman was able to fix the elevator in less than five minutes.

I am proud to report that I remained calm and cheerful during the crisis. The man on the elevator with me, however, was in a huge panic. When the doors finally opened, he ran out and told his friend in the hallway that we had been trapped 15 minutes.

(It was really more like three.)

Being neighborly

Thank you, Jim.

image

When I asked for directions outside the Summit train station this afternoon,  you could have simply pointed to the street and gone on your way.

But you smiled and asked where I was headed and, in typical small-town fashion, offered to give me a ride to my hotel because of the intense heat.

I could have put up my big-city blinders and refused, but I could tell — you were just being nice. So I got a ride and a fun, impromptu tour of Summit.

After a delayed, packed train ride, it was an unexpected pleasure.

Thanks again for taking the time.

Call me

phoneDear Time Warner:

Call me.

Ms. King didn’t enjoy your phone calls, and who can blame her.  Your customer service representatives called her  — after she explained that they had the wrong number — an additional 74 times to harass her about a previous client’s unpaid bill.

Now a court says you owe her $229,500 under the Telephone Consumer Protection Act.

So, call me instead.  I’m an actual Time Warner Customer. I even pay my bills. And I’ll only charge you…$1,000 a call.

BARGAIN.