Category Archives: Children

High school memories

People are being very thankful today on Facebook, which is nice.

One of my friends gave a shout out to high school teachers, and I couldn’t agree more!

I attended public school, and even during my high school years, my teachers easily spent half of their time disciplining students. Corporal punishment was still enforced back in my day, so lots of students were sent to the principal to get ‘licks.’

But some of the more creative teachers took a different route.

bookshelvesMy personal favorite?

I had an English teacher who would stick a kid who was misbehaving behind the bookcase and make them stand there for the rest of the class.

Yep.  This actually happened.

One kid — who shall remain nameless — stuck his arms and legs through the shelves and turned the bookshelves over on the rest of the classroom.

Come to think of it — that was the last time I saw her use that method.

Tickled pink

There are rules on the subway. I’ve outlined them here before…along with my tendency to violate “No eye contact.”

It’s a Southern thang.

But today I found the secret weapon that turned an entire subway car full of New Yorkers. We’re talking eye contact with the person of interest. Eye contact with each other. Smiles even.

onesie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even the most jaded East Coast native can’t resist a cute baby wearing a pink onesie with ears.

Adorbs.

E for effort

When Rory and I were walking home from Central Park this morning, we crossed paths with a women and her young son, who were presumably on their way to school.

She was explaining what each of the letter grades (A, B, C, D, F) in school meant, to which he replied:

“Why is there no E?”

gradesHuh. Good question.

She said, “There simply isn’t one,” which I didn’t think was a very satisfactory reply.

But I didn’t know the answer either,  so I asked the Google machine.

Turns out until the middle of the 20th Century, most schools in the United States used the four letter grading system E, S, N, U — Excellent, Satisfactory, Needs Improvement, and Unsatisfactory.
When they transitioned to the current system, they eliminated the E to avoid confusion.

So, ma’am, that’s what you should have told your little boy.

Gonna have to mark you down for a lack of research.

Boycott GTA

I’m no gamer, but even I’ve heard of Grand Theft Auto.

Candy Crush Saga, it’s not.

grand theft autoIt’s criminals or criminal-wannabes in the big city, trying to rise through the ranks in organized crime. Underworld kingpins give you different missions to complete, and violence ensues.

It wouldn’t be my cup of tea, and I’m sure a lot of parents wouldn’t want their kids playing it either.

But Grand Theft Auto V has another problem — it allows players to ‘run over, behead and kill animals’ as part of the game.

Jack Carone of In Defense of Animals, an animal rights organization, is calling for a boycott of GTA because of this senseless inclusion of animal violence.

If you agree that there should be a GTA boycott — as I do — vote “YES” in the poll at the end of the TMZ article.

Speak up for those without a voice!

Shoot the moon

Kids today have it SO GOOD.

Case in point: Charlotte, the daughter of my friends Amy and Chris.

Charlotte requested an Angry Birds-themed cake for her birthday. Did Amy pick up the phone, call a bakery and order the aforementioned birdie birthday baked good?

No.

She made the entire cast of fierce, feathered friends in fondant.  All by HERSELF.

angry birds fondant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Charlotte is one lucky little girl.

And Amy is rockin’ creative!

Scary movie?

This animal photo bomb isn’t from a horror film –

But don’t you think it should be?

scary sealI’m not even sure I could stomach the maniacal things that this seal probably has up his… flipper.

“The call came from inside the aquarium — run for your lives!!”

In case you are still listening….

George Alexander Louis?

call me whatOn behalf of William and Kate and the entire royal family…

I’m sorry, Royal Baby.

I know there is a long history of King Georges — six, in fact — but all I see when I hear the name “George” is George Costanza of Seinfeld infamy. And while he was a great TV sitcom character, I wouldn’t wish a son like him on William and Kate.

Or anyone, really.

Now, if the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had gone with “Alexander” as a first name, I would be all over that. Maybe they are planning to call you by your middle name. Most of the kids I grew up with were called by their middle names. I always found it kinda odd…like their parents couldn’t make up their minds.  But I would gladly support it in this instance.

If not — if they decide to go with George — well, I return to my previous submission

Sebastian.

Might I suggest…

By now you all know that His Royal Highness has been born to William and Kate. His name, though, they say “may take some time.” Don’t worry –

I’m all over it.

Sebastian

call me whatIt’s a worthy name; the Greek translation is “venerable.” It began to be widely used in the third century after it was the name of  a Christian martyr…so it’s certainly manly enough.

Sebastian also has British ties. It’s in the Top 100 list of boy’s names. Sebastian Cabot is a British actor; Sebastian Faulks, a British writer. And there are characters named Sebastian in popular British fiction, including Sherlock Holmes and Brideshead Revisited.

Most importantly, I like it.

Look, I’m only trying to expedite the process.  Princess Diana and Prince Charles took seven days to name William; William and Kate took three weeks to name their dog, Lupo; and Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip took a month to name Charles.

Let’s not give the child an identity crisis!

We follow directions well (and are nosy)

Rory and I encountered these words today on our walk in Central Park:

brookesworld

It was repeated over and over again along our route, so we simply had to follow and answer the now burning question:

What is Brooke’s world?

Turned out to be some benches.  And leftover balloons.  We deduced that Brooke had a birthday party in the park.

And we missed it.

What is this world — Brooke’s world — coming to?!

Yes, you can

Ever made fun of a beauty pageant contestant?  I know I have.

(Two words: Miss Utah.)

But here’s a beauty pageant that will have you cheering.

miss you can do itThe ‘Miss You Can Do It’ pageant, a program for girls with special needs, is the focus of an HBO documentary currently on rotation and OnDemand.

The 37 contestants, all with learning or physical disabilities, are celebrated at this annual event founded by Abbey Curran, a former Miss Iowa and the first woman with a disability to ever compete in the Miss USA pageant.

The program follows eight of the young girls as they prepare for and compete in this event.  I happened upon the show quite by accident, but I consider the show a must-see.

Everyone should feel that good and smile that much watching TV.