Category Archives: Comedy

Stone cold fox

Ever found it difficult to get excited about classic sculpture?

Just couldn’t relate??

Well, hold on to your fig leaf — Today I Learned Something New, a UK-based website, has brought together the past and present in their feature…

‘Classical sculptures dressed like hipsters’
hipster statues2hipster statutes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gone is the overwhelming expanse of chalk-white skin, the blank stare, the disproportionately small family jewels.  These male models’ newly casual look and ‘tude would do any catalog or magazine ad proud.

And if they’re quiet on a date…well, that’s really to be expected.

It’s a living

I can be chatty in airport gate areas if I’m bored — even more so if my plane is delayed by weather.

Last night at DFW I ended up commiserating with a fellow passenger as we waited for our flight.  He was from Brooklyn, and sold..

Helicopters

hermes-helicopter2He had gone to Dallas to deliver one to a corporate client and was headed home.

I found his job to be very entertaining.  I don’t know exactly why.

I’m sure selling helicopters is not that different from selling cars or trucks or farm machinery.  But it is just such a niche….and absolutely the last thing I expected him to say in the long list of possible occupations.

And I kept thinking, “Man, where was this guy when I was doing improv comedy back in Kansas City?

‘Helicopter salesman’ would have been such a great suggestion.

Watercooler moment

Who’s watching The Office finale tonight?

And who’s watching the show for the first time in two years?

the-office-finale-guest-starsI’ll admit it.

When Michael Scott aka Steve Carell left The Office in 2011, I was part of a highly vocal minority — perhaps it was even a majority in some circles — who felt the show should end with his exit.

But the show producers — both in shock that Steve left and in denial that the money train was running out of steam — deluded themselves that they could keep on keepin’ on.

The first season without Steve floundered.  The second  became ‘the farewell season.’  And now that Dunder Mifflin is finally closing its doors, I feel a teeny tiny bit responsible.

Did I show any loyalty after Steve left?  No.

Did I check in from time-to-time to see if my instincts were right that the show would suck without him?  Yes.

Will I watch tonight and wish the show wasn’t being canceled?  No.

Am I hoping Steve Carell shows up somewhere?  Yes.

(It would be the best episode in two years.)

Note — Steve DID appear on the finale.  It was amazeballs.

Take a chance

When you think about shows in Vegas, sitting on folding chairs under a small circus tent outdoors may not be the first thing that comes to mind.

But it should be.

We went to see Absinthe last night at Caesar’s Palace.. or, more accurately, in front of the famous hotel and shoppes.

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It is filled with amazing feats of physical strength and beauty ala Cirque…but with a personality all its own.  What I am saying is….

It’s filthy. And takes shots at every ethnic and social group on the planet….especially if they are audience members.

Funniest. Show. Ever.

Blackjack and music and comedy

Sin City, I am in you!

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Fifteen years ago, when I made my first trip to Las Vegas, I stayed at the New York New York Hotel. At the time it was fairly new to the strip, and a bit trendy.

For me it was also a tad bit aspirational.  I didn’t live in NYC at the time and wanted to…why not get some good karma?

We have returned there. This time the property was simply a deal…and a fun reminder of home. But I still want to ride the rollercoaster.

May have to do that on my own. (Not everyone appears to have packed their cahones.)

Next stop — Rock of Ages and Ray Romano!!

Please don’t cry

I like movies.

I like actress Kristen Bell.

She loves sloths.

This is for you, Kristen.

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You might see yourself here

The best thing I saw at the movie theatre yesterday was an ad during the pre-show.

No offense to the movie.

I really enjoyed Oblivion, starring Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman. It had great action, an interesting conceit and an ending that I did not see coming.

But this commercial for Windows Phone made me laugh aloud.

Truth is funny.

Sheep schtick

It has been 22 years since The Silence of the Lambs won the Oscar for Best Picture.

Feeling old?

silenceThen come to New York City and see Silence: The Musical, the way funny parody of that award-winning horror story now playing on Broadway.

Clarisse is there…Dr. Lector, too.  And the wannabe transgender, his little dog and the senator’s daughter, ‘putting the lotion in the basket.’

But the lambs?

Well, they aren’t so silent in this version. They sing.  They dance.  They move set pieces.

Cast-of-Silence-The-Musical-650x433They even ‘clomp’ out a musical number using their little lamb hooves.  I had a major flashback to doing something similar during  a show at Martin City Melodrama & Vaudeville Company in Kansas City…

Just off-Broadway.

Safety is fun!

Move over, Southwest Airlines.  There’s a new contender for ‘funniest in the air.’

Delta Airlines

Their new safety video is filled with sight gags large and small.  I’ve seen it on two flights, and am still discovering all the little surprises they have left for the attentive viewer.

juggling chainsawscartwheelsMy favorites?  Bogus safety stickers featured on distant cabin walls.  Sure, we are used to observing “No smoking” and “No electronics”…but “No juggling chainsaws” and “No cartwheels”?

(The video version on my flight also featured “No comb overs”, which I sadly could not find online.)

A robot turns himself off when the cabin door shuts.  The main spokesperson changes clothing and accessories for no apparent reason. And remember the “cat lady” who did the previous safety video for Delta? She makes a cameo, too.

It’s worth a watch or two or seven.  I’ve never enjoyed a safety video more. Or, in fact…

Watched one.

Something to chew on

The Egg is late today. I’ve been watching a lot of basketball. I’ve seen some amazing plays, a couple of bracket-busting upsets, and…

Mouthpieces

mouthpieceNot in players’ mouths, mind you — hanging out of ‘em.

At every whistle.  At every time out.  At every pause in the action.

Players seem compelled to display their bite plates to the spectators in attendance.

Funny — I wear one at night and have never felt a similar compulsion.

noel mouthpieceBut perhaps I should take a style note from these college basketball stars (and NBA stars of tomorrow).

It certainly works for our man Noel.

(Feel better, Nerlens.)