Category Archives: Comedy

Get in line

Rumor time!

And it’s a good one.

queen elizabethDid you hear that Queen Elizabeth was hospitalized for gastroenteritis? As a “precautionary measure,” she was admitted today at King Edward VII Hospital in London.

Funny…where have I heard that news before?

Wasn’t Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cornwall, admitted to the same hospital in early December? For similar tummy troubles? As a “precautionary measure” right before they announced her pregnancy?

O.M.G. –

The Queen must be having a baby, too!!

Just remember — you heard it here first (unless the royal family is after me, and then I’m just repeating something I read on Page Six).

That woman just won’t give up the throne.

Master class clown

Last night I attended the “Garden of Laughs” benefit at Madison Square Garden. The draw?

Ray Romano

garden of laughsIn truth, there were six comedians on the bill — Adam Ferrara, Darrell Hammond, Robert Klein, Brian Regan, Wanda Sykes and Romano — with the ever classy Bob Costas as MC. And lots of surprise celebrities from sports, TV and film serving as presenters between comedy sets.

It was an especially great time to be a local.

With that lineup, it’s no surprise that the comedy was top notch. But what did surprise me was my favorite set of the night.  Not Ray…not last night. No, Robert Klein — who appeared at the mid-point of the show — killed it.

KILLED.

Klein’s not typically one of my favorites, but I had a hard time catching my breath, I was laughing so hard.  As Bob Costas so accurately put it,

“The Master.”

Proceeds from the “Garden of Laughs” benefit the Garden of Dreams Foundation, which has conducted events and programs for more than 215,000 children and their families, including those facing homelessness, extreme poverty, illness and foster care.

News so big it can’t be measured

Attention lovers of potty humor and word police alike:

BUTT LOAD is an actual unit of measurement.

buttload of whiskeyAll these years — I thought I was being rude when I described something ‘big’ as being a butt load!

How I laughed at this crude turn of phrase –

So evil!  So edgy!

But it still stopped short of being an actual curse word…so don’t try to accuse me of committing any great sin.

It’s just a good ol’ butt load of fun!

Or. So. I. Thought.

Now I discover a butt load is a traditional unit of volume for wine and other alcoholic beverages.  A butt is two hogsheads, which is equivalent to 63 US gallons.

Actually…that sounds way bigger than a butt load to me.

An empty chair at the table

Fifteen days into the new year, and I’ve finally come up with a resolution for 2013:

I wanna do a table read.

ABC-Modern-Family-Table-ReadCelebs are always tweeting photos of them now –

The whole cast gathered round the table, getting their first glimpse of that week’s episode.  Sometimes there are table tents identifying the major players.  Some folks are eating. Everyone appears to be having a good ol’ time.

I wanna go.  I wanna have fun.

It seems like I have enough friends-of-a-friend-of-an-acquaintance to make this happen.  Or, I can go grassroots and use social media to make my case.

Will I get invited to the table?  Is 2013 the year??

You gotta believe!!!

Still-er funny

It’s Tuesday — time to tout one of my favorite flicks!

AMC agrees.

Keeping_the_Faith_HR622752

The 2000 comedy, Keeping the Faith, was featured on AMC this very afternoon while I was working from home.

(Really.  I was.)

Ben Stiller and Edward Norton star as a rabbi and a priest.  Jenna Elfman is the woman they both fall in love with.

The city of New York provides the backdrop for both their childhood story — the three were good friends — and their reunion as adults (where all hell breaks loose).

I love seeing Edward Norton in a lighter role like this, and Ben Stiller in a comedy that isn’t quite so over the top.

It’s the perfect feel-good film for the holidays.  Trust me –

I feel better already.

Unzip it

What the loc?

image

Zip loc, that is.

Why are they locked when you take them out of the box?

I use a lot of these bags. At home for storage that doesn’t take up gobs of space. On the road for storage that doesn’t take up gobs of space. And every time I take the snack size, the quart, even the gallon freezer bag out of the box…

It’s zipped tight.

Is it a matter of hygiene? Would unzipping it add several steps in the production process and increase the price? I don’t mean to go all Jerry Seinfeld on you, but…

What’s that all about?

Signs of the weekend

It’s been a tough week –on this we can agree.

So to get the weekend off to a good start, I share these neon signs I found on the Intertubes that made me smile, giggle or guffaw.

‘Cause you just can’t put a price on a good guffaw.

The little things

Life can get kinda stress-y.

Which is why, when you get a gift — like this scene from last week’s Parks and Recreation — you should watch it again and again.

I love you, Ben and Leslie.

And now back to my regularly scheduled stress…from that bitch Sandy.

His and hers

What’s the Best Comedy of the new TV season?

Ben and Kate

I’ve watched ‘em all — or it feels like it — and this show is the clear winner.

Don’t look for marquee stars here.  I haven’t heard of either actor playing Ben or Kate, but they are hilarious.

They’re also not playing the typical married couple.  Kate is a single mom; Ben is her brother who moved in to help her with her daughter.  She’s a rule follower.  He’s a maverick.  Hilarity ensues.

I mean — it really does.

Lucy Punch, the actress who plays Kate’s best friend, is always funny — yes, I know her — and the little girl who plays the daughter was in the movie We Bought a Zoo.

So there are your name actors.  If you need ‘em.

Ben and Kate airs Tuesdays @ 8:30pm ET on FOX.

Giddy off

Many of my childhood beliefs have been shaken, but there’s one that holds firm:

If you suffer a bruise, you show the bruise.

On this Conan and I agree.

O’Brien fell off a water buffalo — of all things — while rehearsing a bit for a visit from animal expert David Mizejewski Tuesday night. Conan hit the stage floor hard…and the bit didn’t make the live show.

But the bruise on his thigh sure did.

Wednesday night Conan dropped trou and displayed the enormous purple souvenir of his not-so-smart ride for all to see. The studio audience. The band. Andy Richter. And oh yeah…

All the folks at home watching on TV.

At first glance you might think, “Geez, Conan — will you stop at nothing to get a laugh?” But I understand that, in this case, it goes beyond comedy –

He suffered the bruise. He shows the bruise.

It’s as simple and as complicated as that.