Me? I’m just psyched about my new calendar.

We may be living in a digital world, carrying our lives around on our smartphones, but I still love selecting the wall calendar that hangs over the desk in my home office.

It used to be a no-brainer — the New Yorker dog cartoons calendar every year. And then they stopped making it two years ago.

Bums.

So now I journey to Barnes & Noble, not knowing what calendar on the racks and spinners before me will catch my eye. But this year’s selection was an exciting combination of all the things I hold most dear:

Dogs. Movies. Celebrities. Kitch.

Yeah, that’s a cat. But he wasn’t dressed up for the photo. All the Jack Sparrow-ness was digitally added later.

There’s also Andy Warhol. And Austin Powers. Dame Edna. Mother Teresa.

Yep. It’s gonna be a good year.

Credit to Matt Dunn for the pooch pic.

I know it made my very long day a whole lot brighter!

Te quiero Turkey Day.

Have a great one, everyone!

That is never more true than early on a fall morning in New York City’s Central Park.

Dog’s pretty cute, too.

I have no problem putting a sweater, raincoat or jacket on my dog to keep him warm and dry during bad weather.

But a doggie Halloween costume?

I have a really hard time doing that to him.

Sure, he will look cute in it, but it serves no useful purpose.  He doesn’t need it for warmth or protection.  And I feel like dressing him up like a vampire or dinosaur or Book of Mormon character strips away a layer of his dignity — violates the trust that he has put in me to protect him in every circumstance and against any foe.

Plus, he already gets all the treats he wants everyday without having to put on the tart.

Lucky dog.

I was in Pittsburgh today on business, and my plans to fit in a bit of playtime went awry.

I hope Shaun isn’t too disappointed.

Shaun the Leprechaun was sent to me by my friend Sophie. Her class back in Kentucky is studying geography, and sent Shaun and other leprechauns out across the country a la “Up in the Air” to report on what they see, hear and do.

So far Shaun has tagged along with me on a video shoot; riding the subway; walking the dog; and now taking this trip with me to Pittsburgh.

I had planned to take Shaun to the Andy Warhol Museum after my meeting. But then I had to jump on a conference call and there was paperwork and cabs were impossible to get in the rain and…

Time ran out.

Hopefully taking him to meet Jon Stewart next week will ease the blow.

Some might think trash ready for the garbage bin.

If you have a dog,  you see much loved friends.  Heck, you probably have some pretty similar toys lying around the house.  That one stuffed animal (that’s really not ‘stuffed’ anymore) that your dog prefers over all the new ones you buy.

For my dog Rory, it’s Bear.  I gave Bear to Rory on the day I brought him home almost 13 years ago.  (He was a panda bear with a face and ears back then.) I’ve bought countless new toys over the years, but Rory has always loved Bear more…wanted to play with Bear first.  I just kept stitching him up and shoving in more cotton.

Now he’s more ‘panda ball’ than panda bear.

Arne Svenson and Ron Warren have put together a collection about toys just like Bear — with far superior photography –  in their book Chewed.  Some great writers have contributed stories, too.

It lets folks with a puppy know what to expect, and gives a nod to the senior dog and his ‘best friend.’

Picture perfect.

Rory and I were taking ‘the long way’ in the direction of the Great Lawn.  That’s when I noticed the two black SUVs with blacked-out windows on the walking path.

An unusual sight, but we kept going.

When we rounded the corner at the Delacorte Theater — home of Shakespeare in the Park — I saw at least 15 police cars, lights flashing, and a helicopter parked on the Great Lawn.  Officers were clustered around the banks of the pond behind the outdoor amphitheater.

I felt like I had been plunged into an episode of Castle.  Nathan Fillion was in town earlier this week to tape Late Show with David Letterman…but sadly, he wasn’t about.

The officers who were there weren’t giving up any information.  A park security officer said they thought someone had drowned, but she was found alive.  But a woman walking in the park a bit earlier in the morning said she saw them remove something from the lake.

News crews were on site, but I couldn’t score any info on their websites.  So, the mystery continues.

Not bad for a morning walk, huh?

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed MISSING posters on 81st Street between Columbus Avenue and Central Park.  When I got a closer look, I learned the ‘missing’ in question were a pair of cockatiels.

My first thought was — how did they get out?  Did they escape through an open window that didn’t have a screen?  Or through a door when a delivery was being made?

My second thought was that lost birds would be really hard to find.  It’s not like they have to stay at street level where they can be easily seen.

I felt bad for the owners, too…but I admired their determination to get their birds back.  Then the signs came down, and it kinda slipped my mind.

Yesterday Rory and I stopped to chat with one of the doormen on 81st Street.  A gentlemen I had never met before stopped to pet Rory.  Guess who he was?

The owner of the two cockatiels

Amazingly, both birds were found — 15 blocks from home — by a worker in Central Park who had seen the flyer. They had survived outside for a week, on their own, during Tropical Storm Irene.

I asked the owner how the birds got out.  My theories weren’t even close.  His partner was walking down the street with the birds in a carrier.  They weren’t happy about it, forced the door open and bolted.

I’ll bet home looks a lot better now.

While you do see stars of TV and film out and about, you rarely see paparazzi trailing behind.

So I was particularly amused by this Huffington Post slideshow of stars picking up their dogs’ poop — all West Coast shots, mind you.

Everyone from The Office’s John Krasinski to Catherine Zeta-Jones to Paul Bettany are pictured with their pooch and that familiar blue baggie…’cause your dog doesn’t care what you do for a living as long as you take care of their business.

Personally, I haven’t spied any celebs in NYC picking up after their dogs.  I have had a celebrity spy on me and my dog.

(It’s a favorite story — a ‘greatest hit,’ as my friend Dan would say.)

My dog Rory and I had just stepped outside of my apartment, and — good dog that he is — he was relieving himself in the street.  During this process, I heard a small child’s voice from the sidewalk behind me say,

“Daddy, is that dog gonna bite me?”

A very familiar voice responded drily, “It probably won’t.”  That’s when I turned around and saw Jerry Seinfeld watching me and my dog.

But don’t worry — he didn’t take any pictures.

He’s a New Yorker, after all.