Category Archives: Family

Any questions?

Posted on May 22, 2012 | Leave a comment

There is one word that immediately invokes my ire. Makes me see red.  And I admit my response is a bit unreasonable.

“Thoughts?”

I don’t know why I have such a negative knee-jerk reaction to the phrase.

Maybe because it’s not a phrase at all. 

You’re asking me a question — you want my input, my point of view, my expertise — but the very question is so non-committal, so throw-away.

Like you can’t be bothered to ask me a question with any nuance or…

WORDS.

Or maybe you don’t want to reveal your hand before I lay my cards on the table.  Well, it didn’t work this time, did it??

You see, I can read a lot into one word of conversation.

I’m a girl.

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Posted in Business, Comedy, Commentary, Family, Friends, Humor, Life, Relationships, Writing

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Momotypes

Posted on May 14, 2012 | Leave a comment

Everyone loves their Momma on Mother’s Day. And yesterday on Twitter, the tributes were as unique as the women they honored.

But TV moms? Not so much.

They’re all kinda the same. In fact, if you look back at the women who have portrayed moms on TV sitcoms and dramas — at least in my memory — three actresses pop up again and again.

Blythe Danner

Susan Sullivan

Holland Taylor

 

 

 

 

 

All three are currently on the small screen playing moms — Danner on Up All Night, Sullivan on Castle, and Taylor on Two and a Half Men.

Heck, Sullivan even played the mom on one episode of Two and a Half Men before Taylor took over. Viewers probably didn’t even notice the switch.

Which is my point. Do the TV powers-that-be really thing that moms everywhere are fair-haired ladies with bob haircuts?

‘Cause that would be a NO.

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Posted in Commentary, Family, Holiday, Humor, Life, Relationships

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I can see clearly now

Posted on May 10, 2012 | 1 Comment

Central Park is green.

No more pastel buds of spring, no more varying shades of color — just a solid canopy of green.

 

As I was walking Rory Dog this morning — and gazing upward at all those green leaves — I was reminded of the day I got my very first pair of glasses.

I was in the fourth grade.  My teacher Ms. Laws had noticed I was squinting at the chalkboard, and ratted me out to my mom.  When the optometrist did the eye exam, it turned out —

I was pretty blind.  Who knew?

I wasn’t very excited about getting glasses; I was the first in my class and would be teased for months.  But I still remember wearing my new glasses on the ride home from the eye doctor, and staring in wonder up at the trees.

“You can see individual leaves?“

 

 

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Posted in Children, Dogs, Family, Health, Humor, Life, Relationships, Walking

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A dog’s life

Posted on May 9, 2012 | 3 Comments

We are smack dab in the middle of National Children’s Book Week…

What is your favorite?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My fav is The Poky Little Puppy, a children’s classic from Little Golden Books.  And I’m not the only one who liked it.  In 2001, it was the all-time best-selling hardcover children’s book in the United States, having sold nearly 15 million copies.

Of course, I didn’t know that back then.

I liked Poky because of his funny name and cute — if rather ginormous — head.  I also liked his independence.  In the story, he lags behind his brothers and sisters and ‘does his own thang.’  Sometimes it works to his advantage; other times it gets him into trouble.

Wow. Just call me Poky.

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Posted in Books, Children, Commentary, Education, Entertainment, Family, Humor, Life, Writing

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Famous last words

Posted on April 15, 2012 | Leave a comment

In my college journalism class, our first assignment was to write our own obituary.

Most students in the class played it safe and wrote rather mundane re-tellings of their life accomplishments. When the instructor gave them back, he chastised us for our lack of imagination.  In our defense, it was the first assignment.

Who knew the guy had a sense of humor?

Well, he would have loved Michael “Flathead” Blanchard. His recent paid obit in the Denver Post was written with extreme entertainment value.  It includes lines like…

Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.

It makes me sad that I didn’t meet Mike before he died.  The wake sounds like it will be fun, too:

He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the celebration will contain adult material, we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.

Atta boy, Mike.

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Posted in Humor, Entertainment, Family, Life, News, Friends, Writing, Commentary

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Puppy power

Posted on March 23, 2012 | 1 Comment

HAPPY NATIONAL PUPPY DAY!

It may be an unofficial holiday — Colleen Paige, the editor-in-chief of “Pet Home” Magazine dreamed it up — but her intentions are good. She trying to promote animal adoption.

It was the best thing I ever did.

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Posted in Dogs, Family, Friends, Holiday, Life

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Dole out the pain

Posted on March 21, 2012 | Leave a comment

You know the pineapple, the international symbol of welcome and hospitality?

A Michigan man used one to knock his wife unconscious at their home last weekend.

When questioned by police, the woman — the pineapple victim — wouldn’t cooperate beyond providing her husband’s basic information.

Leave it to a man to turn fruit into a weapon.  But why pineapple, previously only associated with luaus and fruit salad and tacky bed-and-breakfast decor?

Granted, it’s big and beefy, and the outer shell would leave an interesting mark on someone’s face when it makes impact.  Plus, once you’re finished using it as a battering ram, the outside layer should be easy to cut away…so you can enjoy the juicy fruit within.

Now that I think about it, it’s genius.

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Posted in Family, Food, Foods, Humor, Life, Relationships

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Dunk and cover

Posted on March 7, 2012 | 1 Comment

The Oreo turned 100 yesterday.  I cheered.  Bet you did, too.

But last night I learned that the eerily similar Hydrox sandwich cookie is 104 years old.

Now I have a bad taste in my mouth.

The Oreo — which, let’s face it, has the better name between the two — came second.  Was actually inspired by Hydrox.

But somehow Hydrox has always been perceived as the knockoff through the years.  So much so that the cookie was removed from the market in 2003.  Yet in 2008, in response to an online petition, Kelloggs put Hydrox back on the market, albeit temporarily, under the original Sunshine label.

Now?  All I can find is some crushed Hydrox on Nuts.com.

How fitting.

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Posted in Children, Cooking, Family, Food, Foods, History, Home, Humor, Life, News, Shopping

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In like a wildcat

Posted on March 1, 2012 | 1 Comment

It’s here. My favorite time of the year.

I love everything about the month of March.

My birthday is in March.  My sister, dad, brother-in-law, cousins, and a few friends also celebrate their birthdays in March.

So there’s lots of cake.

There’s also March Madness, the most wonderful time of the year (especially when your alma mater is currently ranked #1, and two other state schools are in the Top 25).

GO BIG BLUE!

There’s St. Patrick’s Day, the Ides of March, the arrival of spring, Women’s History Month — hey, I am a girl — and bizarre celebrations like Save A Spider Day.

Let’s face it — March rocks!

The only thing about March that I’m not totally in love with is the birthstone.  I have always found the aquamarine a bit washed out and unremarkable.

But I recently learned that the bloodstone is a March birthstone alternative — stunning!

That seals the deal — March is the best month of the year.

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Posted in Comedy, Family, Friends, Humor, Life, Sports

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Popping the question

Posted on January 25, 2012 | Leave a comment

My nephew got engaged last week.

He proposed to his girlfriend while they were making dinner at his apartment.  They texted me the news, including photos of the ring.  A few days later they made the announcement on Facebook.

A modern love story.

I couldn’t help but compare that to Mr. Darcy’s proposal to Elizabeth Bennet in Pride & Prejudice.  (I watched it again last night when my cable box was on the fritz.)

He proposed the first time in the rain.  They argued, and she rejected him.

The second time (pictured here) they met in the middle of a field — in the middle of the night — in their night clothes. 

Then Mr. Darcy asked Elizabeth’s father for her hand in marriage before the family had even eaten breakfast.

For such a proper time in history, that whole thing seems a bit scandalous in comparison….don’t you think?   Imagine your own son or daughter wandering into your front lawn at dawn in their PJs talking weddings.  You’d think they were drunk.

Of course, it would make a good story.

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Posted in Commentary, Family, Humor, Life, Love, Movies, Relationships

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