Some ‘architects’ have built a Mayan pyramid out of chocolate big enough to kill us all.

In fact, this model of the Kukulcan Mayan pyramid in Chichen Itza, Mexico broke the Guinness World Record for the World’s Largest Chocolate Sculpture.

California dessert and pastry school Qzina labored more than 400 hours to create the six-foot high structure which weighs over 18,000 pounds.

That’s one-thirtieth the size of the original Mayan temple.

The chocolate sculpture will be destroyed on December 21 — the last date on the Mayan calendar.  According to the Qzina website, they haven’t decided exactly how to dismantle the thing.

Seriously?

I know a lot of folks who would volunteer to help make that baby disappear.

And now I’m trying to un-see this.

It’s a brain tapeworm, of all god-forsaken things.

Brain tapeworms?  Who even knew they existed?  I sure didn’t…until an innocent web search invited that knowledge into my head.

Hopefully not the tapeworms.

They can enter your system if you eat undercooked pork, since the larvae often attach to pig muscle.  And once there, they flow through the bloodstream and get stuck in cavities in the cranium.

I don’t want to know this!  You don’t either!!

But misery loves company.

Happy Monday.

Be immortalized in cake.

Betty White was.

We’re talking a 5’2″ life-size vanilla cake with buttercream, covered in modeling chocolate.  It was created by Cake Boss star Buddy Valastro and his team.

And you thought Betty couldn’t get any sweeter.

The cake was served at Wednesday night at Betty’s roast at the Friars Club here in New York City…hence their motto at the base (where Betty’s feet should be).

Funny thing — being roasted?

Not on my list.

Probiotics, don’t you know — the ‘friendly bacteria’ that Jamie Lee Curtis gets all giggly about.

But my dog is a picky little shit.  You change his food one iota, and he won’t touch it…which makes any change in his diet a real pain in the probiotic.

There are some animals, though, who are real fans of the yogurt cure.

Maybe Rory will listen to the bird.

My sister and I used to make them all the time when we still lived at home.

We used the convenient canned variety.  Popped them open. Arranged them in the pan.  And a short 11-13 minutes later, we were icing them and arguing over the one in the center.

(No edges.)

I haven’t had cinnamon rolls in a long time.  But this photo from the Pioneer Woman’s recipe on FoodNetwork.com reminded me of those yummy breakfasts on lazy weekend mornings.

But her rolls’ estimated total prep time?  2 hours 40 minutes!!

Pioneer Woman — we have ovens and modern conveniences now.  You might wanna take advantage.

Is that beautiful or what?

It’s glass gem corn, an heirloom corn variety.  If you’re interested in the specifics of how it was farmed — I know there are members of my family that will be — check out SeedTrust.com.

Me?  I’m a city chick, so all I see are the colors…and how much it truly looks like glass.  I could decorate an entire house using that color palette.

But eat it?

It would be like snacking on the Crowned Jewels!

Will they celebrate Cinco de Mayo? Or ‘do the Derby?’

Looks like some of them have figured out how to do both!

Feliz día del Derby!

Why am I celebrating orange peels that have been boiled, sliced, and sugared? It’s not like I particularly enjoy the cookies and fruitcakes that they frequent.

Nope. I just like the photo.

Sweet!

Me either.

A few weeks ago, I was an extra in this White Castle commercial.  I know I was.  I was there.  And I saw the ad for the first time during tonight’s episode of  Community. 

I recognize the locations, that red convertible, the principal actors.  I saw my scenes.

But I’m not there.

It was those poppin’ White Castle heads.  They reduced me to a blurry smudge.

What a coincidence — that’s how I feel when I eat White Castles.

Truth in advertising — who’d have thunk it?!

But they can’t hide from CNN.

CNN busted them.  Shone a light.  Spread the word.  And now we can order some truly spectacular food items that still aren’t on the menu.

Won’t stop me.

I gots to have a Neapolitan milkshake — chocolate, vanilla and strawberry shake layered in the same cup.

McDonald’s, Burger King and In-N-Out have ‘em…if you just ask.  And why wouldn’t you?

It’s sweet genius.

Or how about a big ol’ order of frings?  That’s half onion rings, half french fries, served in the same order.  Why choose if you don’t have to?  And isn’t frings way more fun to say?

Don’t answer.  We know it’s true.

And for my vegan family members — you know who you are — step right up to the counter at Fatburger and order the Hypocrite.  It’s a veggie burger with several strips of crispy bacon perched right on top.

Add a side of Sticky Eggs and you’ve got yourself a meal!