Category Archives: Home

Come clean

Grab the takeout menu; it’s time to celebrate!

If you’ve been looking for a legitimate reason to never cook again, now there’s scientific proof.  A new research study suggests that at least one in seven home kitchens wouldn’t pass the health inspection given to restaurants…so the meals prepared in them could make people sick.

In the study — which was conducted online in 2008 in California’s Los Angeles County — only 61 percent of the homes taking the test would have scored an A or B if put through the actual health inspection.  In comparison, 98 percent of all restaurants in Los Angeles County scored an A or B in their inspections.

Think of all the cases of food poisoning that have been blamed on restaurants, when the real culprit was a lot closer to home.  Your mother?  Trying to kill you.  Your wife?  Plotting to get your money.  Or perhaps you simply have a death wish.

Not convinced?  Think your kitchen would score an easy A?  Take the online test and see for yourself.

And if your score is a disappointment, the only other decision you have to make is delivery or carryout.

Fresh fish

Oh dear.

The Sticky Egg has discovered an unfortunate connection to the world of fishing.  As in, ‘sticky egg’ is the name of a fishing fly.

I found this during a Google search last night.  I was checking to see how easy it is to find my blog when you search the phrase ‘sticky egg’…and this fly came up in the first page of results.  (My blog was number two after a prank toy egg…so yes, I’m in good company.)

The name is appropriate, I suppose.  The fly is supposed to imitate fish roe, which trout, steel head and salmon apparently eat ‘with gusto.’

I’m not a big fan of fishing.  The idea of dragging a living creature through the water with a sharp, metal hook through its mouth seems pretty cruel.  I contend that people find it acceptable because fish are ugly.

Think about it.  If fish looked like puppies, would we really celebrate the practice?

But back to this fly.  I just want to make it clear:  The Sticky Egg does not condone nor endorse its use.  The name thing is pure coincidence.

No fish will ever be killed in the writing of this blog.

Just a brain cell or two.

See a penny

It’s been raining for what seems like forever here in Boston, and during a quick trip to CVS, I saw three girls debating the purchase of a rain slicker vs. a new umbrella.

One felt the slickers ‘had no style.’  (Good point.)  So she picked up one of the more brightly colored umbrellas and began to open it in the store.

Her friends practically threw her to the ground.

“Don’t you know it’s bad luck to open an umbrella inside a building?” one said in horror.  “Are you trying to ruin our lives?”

I smiled, as did several other people standing in line at the register.  I’m sure many found this superstition childish.

But as someone who has had a penny tails-up on her dining room floor for a couple of months now — who has mopped and swept around it because it’s bad luck to pick it up — my smile was more in understanding.

I treat superstitions with respect.  I’m that person you see going out of her way to avoid walking under a ladder.  I always throw salt over my left shoulder if I knock over a shaker (so beware if you’re in that direction).  I have broken a mirror and gone into a serious funk, convinced my next seven years are toast.

Even though I know superstitions like these are silly, I just can’t seem to tempt the fates and ignore them. Like the girls in the store, I think my future is worth a public spectacle or two.

Or, at least, that’s my excuse.

Shop talk

A good friend of mine blogs about word meaning and use (see “Word Nymph“).  I thought of her the other day when I realized how my definition for the phrase “window shopping” has changed over the years.

Growing up in rural Kentucky, we had to drive a minimum of 30 minutes to get to a mall.  When you make that kind of time commitment, you usually buy something...so our window shopping took place in a catalog before we left.

After I moved away to college, shops and malls were much closer.  I didn’t have a car then, but I could hitch a ride with a friend easily enough and window shop to my heart’s content.  And I really did window shop back then, because goodness knows I didn’t have any money.

Then I moved to the Midwest and got jobs and cars and drove myself everywhere.  I probably intended to window shop, but instead ended up buying lots of things I didn’t need.

When I moved to the Northeast, things changed even more.  I sold my car.  Walk pretty much everywhere.  On every corner, there are stores for major brands and boutiques and shops. And where do I do most of my window shopping today?

Online.

It’s just so easy.  I can visit any store in seconds, click around on the merchandise — select hundreds of dollars worth, if I feel like it — put it in the shopping cart, and then close out the window, buying absolutely nothing.

I get all the fun of shopping without spending any real money…

…well, that trip.

Color crime

If you have a few extra pounds on your person, don’t blame yourself.

Blame Benjamin Moore.

A study published in a recent issue of Contract magazine reveals that people who eat in kitchens and dining areas painted red, orange and yellow feel hungrier.  The sunnier hues apparently make food more attractive.

To eat less, we need to surround ourselves with blue light and blue tones…or, at the very least, use blue utensils and dishes to help curb our hunger.

Now they tell me!

My entire house  is a tribute to the colors red, yellow and orange.  They’re even in my bathroom.  I have always loved their energy and fire, but now I guess — deep down – I was really just looking for another excuse to eat.

This revelation has its advantages.  Now, if I gain a pound or two, it’s not my fault; it’s the yellow paint in my kitchen.  And all those red dishes.  Or maybe the orange FLOR tiles in the living room.  Heck, I even have a red leather love seat.

I’m the victim here!

Sounds like…

How do you say Chipotle?  Or Hermes?  Or gyro?

Chances are, a lot of you are saying at least one of them wrong…and simply don’t know it.  Lemondrop.com has created a list of “Twelve Words You Didn’t Know You Were Mispronouncing.”

Check it out.  It may save you a world of embarrassment.

This topic is near and dear to my heart.  You see, my mother loved romance novels  — those thin, Silhouette paperbacks that ran about 125 pages and ended with hand-holding or a kiss.  The heroine was usually a governess, grade school teacher or cub reporter at a small town newspaper.

I started reading them when I still in grade school, so I was often learning new words that I had never heard spoken (and had certainly never had occasion to use in my day-to-day life).

Two such words were “aloof” and “arrogant.”  I knew by their use in the text what they meant, but I hadn’t heard them said aloud.

One day, my brother Michael — my childhood nemesis — was being especially annoying.   Adopting what I hoped was my most withering look, I placed my hands on my hips and spit at him,

“You are so ALOAF and AROWGINT!!”

I’d never heard my mother laugh harder in her life.  My brother just looked confused.

I’ve been a big fan of the dictionary ever since.

Life’s a picnic

When your hometown is called “Fancy Farm,” people tend to remember the name.

Admittedly, it’s unusual….although it does sound a bit like a now defunct amusement park near Middletown, Ohio called “Fantasy Farm.”  (When I attended the University of Kentucky, I got that joke a lot.)

But on the first Saturday in August, there’s no confusing Fancy Farm, Kentucky.   Ask any local, state or national media outlet, and if they aren’t already there, they can certainly direct you.

The annual Fancy Farm Picnic is big news, and has been for 130 years.  Politics, pork barbecue and great people, all gathered at the party of the year.  Heck, it even made the Guinness Book of Records in 1978 as the Largest One-Day Barbecue in the World.

I was there.

Of course, I’ve been to a lot of picnics since I was five years old.   Playing games and eating barbecue when I was little.  Working in the ice cream booth that was my family’s responsibility.  We’ve had class reunions around picnic time, and lots of family from out-of-town — the ‘city folk’ — coming to Fancy Farm in August for this one-of-a-kind experience.

It’s small town America at its best.  Neighbors coming together, all as volunteers, working to raise money for the community church, proud of the tradition that generations of families have built.

And for the barbecue.  And the politics.

That’s the heart of it all.

Childhood scars

The Sticky Egg happily takes topic requests.  Today we answer the following email from J. in Boston:  “Tell the hostage story!”

It is a defining moment in Sticky Egg history.

It’s the reason I will always wear bangs.
It’s probably why I always cry if hit on the head.
And it explains why the “Harry Potter” saga speaks to me on a very personal level.

I was in the third grade, the youngest child, scorned by my siblings.  On that particular Sunday, my sister — three years older and the coolest person I knew — offered to play with me.

This was a BIG DEAL.

She found a length of rope in the small building behind our house and suggested, “Let’s play hostage!”   She then hog tied me, wrists to ankles.

(You’re probably wondering why I went along with this.  She was playing with me.  This was a BIG DEAL.)

After she secured the rope, and I was awkwardly squatting, she told me to try to walk.  On the count of three, she pulled her end, and I fell forward, flat on my face.

That might not have been such a BIG DEAL…except I had been sitting on a cement sidewalk, and my forehead hit the edge.  Hard.

I rolled over onto the grass and started to cry, my nose already swelling.  My sister stood over me, blocking the sun.

“Get up, you big baby” she said.  The truce had ended.

As I quickly sat up, a curtain of bright, red blood cascaded — seemingly in slow motion — across the yard.  I went silent, then began to scream.

The rest is a blur of my brothers and my mother and the rush to the hospital.  I do remember Dr. Stone, my pediatrician, had a pillow mark on his face, like he had been woken up from a nap.  He was especially grouchy in the ER, even for him.

In the end, I had to have 12 stitches in my forehead and was monitored for a possible skull fracture.  (I didn’t have one.)

But I was left with a slightly crooked scar on my forehead…

And a special power — even today — over She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named.

Hair today…

My friend Joan is gaga for the WB series “Supernatural.”

She’s been watching old episodes the last couple of weeks and posting Facebook status updates filled with longing and anticipation for the new season to begin.

I’ve never watched “Supernatural,” but I am familiar with one of its stars:  Jared Padalecki, who plays Sam Winchester on the show.

Jared used to appear on one of my old favorites, “Gilmore Girls.”  He was Rory’s first boyfriend Dean, one of the most milk toast characters in the history of television.  All Dean did each episode was smile sweetly and moon over Rory, who eventually got bored and dumped him for bad boy Jessie.

Ain’t that always the way.

Jared appears to have manned up a bit on “Supernatural.”   His character Sam is a modern day warrior who chases ghosts with his older brother (named Dean oddly enough).

The only thing Jared’s two TV characters seem to have in common are bad haircuts.  Padalecki has changed his hair style a bit over the past decade, but for some reason can’t seem to find one that complements his very good looking face.

I’m not the only one who feels this way, either.  Yesterday EW.com offered to give him a free haircut for his birthday.  That’s right.  A free haircut…to a guy who works with stylists every day on set.

What gives?  Why is it so hard for Jared Padalecki to get good hair?  Maybe it’s some kinda curse…like the one that befell the stars of “Poltergeist.”

No word from Joan yet on how she feels about all this.  But I’m guessing a new status update may be in the cards.

Potty time

Love potty humor?  How ’bout potties themselves?

Cintas Corporation, provider of specialty services to businesses — including bathroom sanitation — is searching for “America’s Best Restroom” in their ninth annual competition.

Nine times they’ve done this?  Where was I — in the john?

They started taking nominations in February and recently announced 10 finalists. Now it’s up to all of us to vote for our favorites…and in September, they’ll name “America’s Best Restroom.”

I’m proud to say that two of the nominees are right here in New York City — the public restrooms at The Muse Hotel and Bryant Park.  But there are toilets on the list from Wichita to Louisville to Fort Wayne to Las Vegas.

And these potties — all public restrooms, mind you — are pretty spectacular.  Even if you initially thought “Why is the Egg talking toilets?” I think you’ll enjoy a tour of the Top 10. Vote while you’re at it, too.

If you’ve ever needed a public restroom and couldn’t find one, you know how truly important this topic really is.

May the best potty win!