Category Archives: Humor

Carry a big stick

I have never followed an intense exercise routine.

I am a big believer in ‘all things in moderation’ — in both food and physical activity.

But I have recently been inspired to follow a new upper-body strength routine that I think could catch on around the globe:

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Donald Trump Pinata Challenge

1. Buy pinata in likeness of annoyingly-ignorant businessman and Republican presidential candidate.

2. Get really big stick.

3. Beat the crap out of that thang, honing upper body strength while reducing frustrations with Trump and flawed political process.

4. Repeat 2-3 times each week.

Note: if you put candy in pinata per tradition, this could reduce positive outcomes of routine.

On the ball

For a sport with such small balls, golf is an unusually large target.

cu golf ballPeople who don’t watch it or understand the nuances of the game are quick to dismiss it as boring.

My mother never understood why I watched golf on TV as a young child. But if she sat with me for even 30 minutes, she would soon be ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhing’ over some of the precision shots the pros could pull off.

And in television golf tournaments, you see a lot of golf.  The cameras jump from tee to fairway to green, so you get to see sometimes 50+ different golfers swing the club or putt every 30 seconds or less.

So, contrary to what you might think, there is a lot of action in golf.

In contrast, televised baseball and football games — America’s sports — mostly involve standing around.  A Wall Street Journal study calculated that a baseball fan will see 17 minutes and 58 seconds of action over the course of a three-hour game. And the football audience?  A paltry 11 minutes per game.

So for pure entertainment value, swing for swing, I’d put the US Open Golf Championship up against a baseball game any day. I’ve watched both, and I feel pretty good about my chances.

Your assistance, please

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During our bus tour of Manhattan yesterday, we saw this symbol hanging along the streets of Chinatown.

The tour did not comment on them, so I don’t know what they are…but I love the colors.

Any ideas, my super smart Eggers?

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So sticky

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Ringside seats

I’ve never gotten involved in the online debate about whether or not to vaccinate children. Since I don’t have kids, I figured I would stay out of that fight (although I vaccinate my dog, so we can probably guess where I might land).

I have to wonder, though, if this TV commercial is making the back-and-forth even more heated…

Not only vaccinate your kids but re-vaccinate in their teens? The anti-vax crowd must be foaming at the mouth. But the ad’s emotional argument is effective.

Once again — staying out of it.

The music died

All the discussion of late around the Confederate flag brought the band Lynyrd Skynyrd to mind, since that flag is part of the band’s logo.

(I didn’t use that version here on The Sticky Egg because, um…no.)

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That led us to talking about where we were when we learned about the plane crash that killed half of the band members.

[If you’re too young to a) know who Lynyrd Skynyrd is, or b) remember the plane crash, move along.]

I was in bed asleep. The phone rang — a corded phone, no less  — and I walked down to my mother’s bedroom to answer it. A good friend of my oldest brother was on the line, and he was crying. I may have been young, but I knew a call that late at night could only mean one thing…

Someone had died.

We woke up my brother, who came to the phone in a fog of sleep. We heard him say, “Oh no. Oh God. Oh no.” Then he hung up the phone and turned to go back to bed.  We stopped him, saying, “Wait — what happened?”

He said simply, “Lynyrd Skynyrd died.”

I’m not sure either my mother or I knew exactly what that meant, so we went on to bed.  When we questioned my brother the next morning, he barely remembered the phone call.

But it stuck in my memory, all these years — the day Lynyrd Skynyrd died.

A weighty subject

When you go to the lady doctor for your yearly poke-and-prod, some tests aren’t so yearly anymore.

Depending on your age and family history, your physician may recommend a Pap smear, for example, every two years… or a mammogram only after age 40.

(My family history is so checkered, I get to do these type of tests every year, but I’ve heard rumors.)

The other thing you have to do every time you walk in a doctor’s office is a weight check. This I feel should change.

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The nurse usually takes my weight, after consulting my chart. Unless I appear to have ballooned to an obese level, I don’t feel this is a necessary measure. It’s not the way I want to start the conversation, either…

Unless the nurse takes his/her weight, too. Then we have something to discuss.