Category Archives: Humor

No accounting for taste

Do you find it so stressful to shop, cook and clean dishes that you would rather not eat all?

Rob Rhinehart does.

rob-rinehart-soylent-576km061713He’s a software engineer in Atlanta who found it hard to find time for all food-related activities.

But he did find time to research what nutrients his body needs to survive and created Soylent, a drink mixture of vitamins and minerals.

Now he drinks Soylent for 90 percent of his meals. He doesn’t find the nutrition drink boring and has actually lost the taste for other foods…although he does say in his blog that he still enjoys sushi.

I’m guessing his taste buds have surrendered…

Or just don’t have the strength to complain.

Fair-weather friends

Fickle, thy name is golf announcer.

You can quote me on that.

U.S. Open - Round TwoI watched as much of the US Open Golf Tournament this past weekend as my work schedule allowed.

The leader board morphed and changed throughout the four-day tourney at Merion Golf Club in Ardmore, Pennsylvania.

But nothing compared to the announcers’ ever-changing opinions and support of the players at the top.

When Phil Michelson was leading the pack going into Sunday, they couldn’t say enough about his talent and the timing, with his birthday and Father’s Day all coming together.  He could finally erase all the other runner-up finishes at the Open.

When he failed to deliver?  They just wrote it off to “missed opportunities.”  There were no shows of support, no explanations.

Phil just messed up.

As other golfers took the lead – Mahan, Day, Els — the announcers’ support surged and waned.  They could always explain who was best, and just as quickly write them off.  Might as well keep them behind the microphone, though –

They’d be murder on a real relationship.

Rocking and rolling

When I was a kid, people who visited our house were always amazed by all the rocking…

Chairs, that is.

My mom was usually rocking in hers, and my sister would be rocking in the other one. If either of them ever got up, my brothers or I would take over. Suffice it to say, our family room was always rocking.

We gave more than one person motion sickness, just watching us go.

Imagine if we had had a rocking bed…like this one.

rocking bed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We would have never gotten up in the morning!

Stone cold fox

Ever found it difficult to get excited about classic sculpture?

Just couldn’t relate??

Well, hold on to your fig leaf — Today I Learned Something New, a UK-based website, has brought together the past and present in their feature…

‘Classical sculptures dressed like hipsters’
hipster statues2hipster statutes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gone is the overwhelming expanse of chalk-white skin, the blank stare, the disproportionately small family jewels.  These male models’ newly casual look and ‘tude would do any catalog or magazine ad proud.

And if they’re quiet on a date…well, that’s really to be expected.

A load of hurt

superman

I saw Man of Steel in IMAX 3D tonight — opening night.  A few folks were there with me, to say the least.

And, boy, did we get a show.

This movie is HUGE….and not just because it’s an IMAX print.  I saw Star Trek Into Darkness in IMAX, and everything in Man of Steel seems bigger by a factor of 10.

The musical score, by Hans Zimmer, is like a punch to the solar plexus.  It’s loud and driving (and kinda made my ears hurt, to be honest).

The physical fights and battle scenes are ginormous.  And exhausting.  The bad guys beat the hell out of Superman, but he just keeps on coming back.

Needless to say, it took a lot of CGI to make Man of Steel, and director Zack Snyder uses it to great effect to create a world worthy of our hero.  But the biggest and best part of this movie requires nothing more than a tight closeup to appreciate — Henry Cavill.

In the immortal words of annoying celebrity cook Rachael Ray –

YUM-O.

How do I spell happy?

bacon-bash

This is in Times Square in 10 days.  And, yes, I bought my ticket.

OINK!

Bling bling

I don’t know if it is my age or location, but I love my sunglasses bigger and bigger these days.

They do cover a multitude of sins.

But these shades by designer Jaesyn Burke are simply sinful!
Jaesyn Burke glassesJaesyn Burke glasses2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m not completely sure I could see out of them, but really –

Who cares?

Rubber band, man!

I’m a homeowner who tries to be handy. When that fails…

I call Ed.
stripped screwSo I loved this tip I picked up on the Interwebs about dealing with stripped screws. (If you’ve known this for years, bear with me because it bears repeating for folks like me.)

To remove the stripped screw, simply place a rubber band over it.  Then  use your screwdriver to unscrew it.

The rubber band should provide enough grip for you to ease the screw right out.

You’re not reading this anymore, are you?  You’re taking care of all those dodgey screws in your house!

Sorry, Ed — we’ve got this one.

Still refreshing, ya’ll

I have an 11-month old niece who loves iced tea.

Okay, that’s a stretch.

Hope has been married to my nephew Dustin for 11 months…and, like me, she is a daughter of the South who loves sweet tea.  (She’s been tweeting about it all weekend!)

So, in her honor — and in honor of the day — I am re-posting my blog from this very day in 2010…

Happy National Iced Tea Day!

iced-teaToday we celebrate the official drink of summer, that mother’s milk of the South — iced tea.

I grew up drinking my iced tea brewed with boo-coo’s of sugar, but today I prefer it with a just a touch of the pink stuff (Sweet ‘n’ Low).

Now, I know there are a lot of coffee drinkers out there who have never tried iced tea, or who simply consider iced tea the ‘second-class citizen’ of caffeinated beverages.  If that is true, I ask you this:

Which drink is so popular it has it very own piece of flatware?

Iced tea 

(It has its own long-handled iced tea spoon.  Coffee?  No such utensil.)

So, when the next heatwave leaves you feeling parched, consider a tall, thirst-quenching glass of sweet iced tea. If you’re lucky, you might just pick up a sexy Southern drawl along the way.

Keep calm and don’t carry on

I’m watching the Tony Awards, hosted by the phenomenal Neil Patrick Harris, and as always I am blown away by his ability to do it all. Sing. Dance. Tell a joke. Perform magic. And, most importantly…

Have a sense of humor about it all.

But once the Tony winners start taking the stage, that goes right out the window.

judith lightTake the lovely Judith Light, who won the Tony for Best Featured Actress in a Play.

She graciously thanked everyone in the American Theatre Wing, the voters, her cast and crew, the box office workers, her family, her manager and agent, etc, etc.

And then she started talking to the theatre community.  Got all hyper-earnest and intense.  You could see sweat start to glisten on her upper lip, and veins pop out on her forehead.

And I just wanted to say, “Judith, chill.  Let’s get some perspective here.”

I mean, I had a letter to Sports Illustrated published in the mailbag of the June 10th issue, and you don’t see me standing on a street corner making speeches about it.

(Maybe tomorrow.)