Category Archives: Humor

Food pusher

I was raised in the South by amazing home cooks.

The food may not have been the best for us, but it tasted better than anything I’ve found in my travels.

We used to call my mother and her sisters “food pushers” because they were always encouraging us to eat more.

Another taste. Another serving.  Heck, in some cases, another meal.

I had a flashback to those food pushers this morning when I was sitting on the floor, trying to get my dog Rory to eat.

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When he rejected his wet food, I added chicken. When he tired of the chicken, I gave him treats. When he finished the treats, I handed him the wet food again.

Anything to get him to eat a decent-sized meal.

Old dogs are the best, but they’re not the best eaters. — Mama Dog food pusher

No ooey gooey

Tonight on Facebook,  a friend posted this pic on pie etiquette:

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I must protest.

Meringue is a national nightmare. Even a dollop is a spoonful too much for me. Encouraging the egregious behavior above means more scraping at restaurants… more apologies to meringue-loving friends and family… more gooey mess.

Just say no to meringue, America…at least in front of me.

Jump to it

With all the movie remakes that are out there, I am surprised that someone hasn’t decided to give Jumping Jack Flash a second go.

jumpingjackI’ve always liked it a lot, even though I think Whoopi Goldberg was miscast as the lead.

The film was made the year after Goldberg was nominated for an Oscar for The Color Purple, and directors were putting her in everything.

I’m not sure this was the appropriate vehicle.

But I think the movie’s spy plot centered on bank computer transactions could be updated for today, and cast with an eye for chemistry as well as comedy.

Emma Stone would be great as the lead. (Of course, I say that about most films.)

What’s that smell?

My ride to work this morning was long and slow because of an incident on one of the subway tracks. So I spent a lot of time with my fellow riders.

You’ve heard of ‘resting bitch face?’ One of ladies in my subway car had ‘resting stink face.’

My apologies to Emma Stone, but she looked much like this the entire ride.
Her expression didn’t change. She looked around. She read her paper. She searched for gum in her purse. All the while — resting stink face.

I found myself sniffing the air, trying to find the source of her disgust, but could find nothing more than the usual subway aromas.

Suddenly resting bitch face seemed calm and serene.

My mantra

YES.

mayaquote

YES!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes.

Oh, my aching neck

Really big necklaces.

Like…HUGE.

big disc necklaceI see them everywhere on the subway these days.

Women are wearing them with the expected dresses and business suits, but also with casual tees and jeans.

I mentioned they are HUGE, right?

Some I like. Most not so much.

But I have noticed one very strange phenomena — and I admit, I am generalizing, but have seen enough to claim a trend — many of the women who favor these really big (HUGE) necklaces seem to think wearing them diverts attention from the rest of their person.

So, no need to do their hair. Or put on even the tiniest bit of makeup. Just don the really big necklace, and it will do the heavy lifting for their ensemble.

Or, I guess in this case, the heavy pulling down of their neck toward the ground.

Not working.

Talk to each other

For more than a decade, I have taught classes to university students and corporate clients alike, emphasizing the importance of communication.

But the cautionary tale on tonight’s Project Runway team competition drives the point home better than any workshop or one-to-one coaching session.

SPOILER ALERT!

yangOne team’s inability to communicate — about anything — led to a truly terrible garment and a very expected exit for one (since her partner had immunity).

Sorry Hanmiao — but you kinda had it coming.