Category Archives: Life

Home improvement

I have become a bit of an HGTV addict since a visit to a good friend last August.

Now the channel is the background noise in my apartment. Property Brothers, Fixer Upper, and Love It or List It are major distractions. And I hear this tired cliche from homeowners all the time
happywifehappylife

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps I should be thrilled that the woman is ‘winning’ in this scenario, but instead it kinda pisses me off.

I’ve never been married, but I envision a partnership of sorts where decisions are made together and compromise is key. This credo makes it sound like the wife is some crabby curmudgeon who holds every outcome over her husband’s head.  If its doesn’t go her way, grudges will commence! Sex will be withheld! Pain will be inflicted!

Geez — where’s the love?

And where’s the husband equivalent of this saying?  Is there one?

An unmarried woman wants to know.

 

 

Taste test

I am watching ESPN, and a commercial for Cheez-Its just aired.

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You’ve probably seen it.

Scientists are testing cheese to make sure it is mature…because only aged cheddar goes into Cheez-Its.

I don’t know.  The immature cheese sounds like a lot more fun.  I think it would taste better, too.

These are the important issues that occupy my big brain.

Acid wash

boyfriend jeansWhat does the term ‘boyfriend jeans’ mean to you?

Loose jeans? Distressed jeans?  Or…

Super sexy jeans?

Old Navy is now selling this popular style to girls and babies, and continuing to call them boyfriend jeans. Some parents and psychologists argue that this name is inappropriate for such a young clientele, who shouldn’t be thinking about wearing their boyfriend’s jeans or even have a boyfriend at all.

In the words of Seth and Amy at the SNL Weekend Update desk — “Really?”

I’d argue that the ‘highly sexualized nature’ of the name lies in the minds of these doctors and parents. Jeans shoppers have heard it in the marketplace for years; it simply means ‘loose fitting.’  Any babies and little girls made aware of the name will define it in terms of their own innocent friendships (unless their parents attempt to explain it in an adult context and scar them forever).

Keep calm and carry on, parents. There are far bigger boogie men out there to fight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s hope

Everyone is talking about the weather.

It doesn’t matter where you live — it’s snowing or icing, and the temps are dangerously low. Everyone is being told to stay indoors.

It’s for our own protection.

tulips2015Yet in the midst of all this cold, a few bulbs can flourish in just a few inches of water.

In three days, I have watched them go from simple green stems to three visible blooms (and a hint of more to come).

Makes me believe that spring is more than just a groundhog’s shadowy promise.

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Nice to meet you

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Riding it out

The lady sitting across the aisle from me on this flight is scared to fly.

She didn’t tell me, but she didn’t have to.

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She is a white knuckle flier.

She has, at intervals, been visibly praying. And fidgeting. And sweating.

When I was very young, I used to get motion sick on airplanes — green, sick and nauseous.

I think that was better.

A pat on the back

Hey, Time Warner Cable — mark the date on your calendar!  Someone (me) is giving you positive feedback.

(I’m as shocked as you are.)

alphabetTWC recently changed the way they order their listings in the on-screen program guide.

In the past, they listed all movies and TV shows that began with ‘The’ under ‘T’…which is stupid.  You might miss a program altogether if you forget that all important article tacked on the front of the title.

But recently — I’m not sure how recently, but I watch a lot of TV, so I’m guessin’ it hasn’t been that long ago — they changed their policy.  Now a movie like ‘The Last Five Years’ (which opens in theaters and OnDemand today) is listed under the letter ‘L.’

How groundbreaking. How logical.  How unlike Time Warner Cable.

Let’s hear it for common sense!