Category Archives: Relationships

Vintage softness

handsEvery time I shake someone’s hand, people comment on how soft my hands are.

If only one person said it, I would shrug it off. But it’s become a thing.

What makes it especially weird is that I hate hand lotion. Never use it. And I’m not doing anything to pamper them.

So what gives?

Well, I started paying attention of late, and have decided that the one substance that comes in contact with my hands several times a day may be the reason:

dawn ducks Dawn dishwashing liquid

I wash my hands so many times a day because I’m feeding the dog and medicating the dog and cleaning up after his various and sundry bodily functions.

It’s like a TV commercial from the 50’s.

But then again, they are that soft.

I hear voices

I had appointment after appointment today, so I was walking through the streets of Manhattan for hours….which meant I overheard a lot of chatter.

My favorites were between kids and their parents.

overheardEAVESDROP #1

Child: Mom, can I get a smoothie?

Mom: I don’t have any money.

Child: Well, can’t we just buy some?

EAVESDROP #2

Child: …we saw Adrian afterwards.

Grandmother: It’s nice that he lives close by.

Child: Yes, right by the sewer.

EAVESDROP #3

Child in Stroller: Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo…

Dad: Do you simply have to be heard all the time?

Child: (silence) Yes. Woo Woo Woo Woo
You’re welcome.

Sorry about that

My back hurts.

pain blocksI don’t know why. Or even how.

But for the better part of a week, it has been giving me fits.

I’ve seen one doctor; I have an appointment with another on Tuesday. I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes a few more to figure out what’s going on and how to get me some relief.

This isn’t the first time my back has ‘gone out,’ as they say.  But I had forgotten how much it affects everything else. I mean, when it hurts to sit and lie down and walk and stand…

Well, let’s just say it’s hard to find joy in the simple things. Or anything.  You become a big ol’ grouch.

I’m trying not to be. But it hurts when I do.

Seeing red (actually, not)

I am an Android user, so I should probably mind my own operating system…

But this redhead’s gotta represent!

Hey Apple — why doesn’t your iOS 8.3 update include emojis with red hair?

redheademoji

Your latest updated keyboard features emoji with blonde, brown and black hair…

But no red hair? No fair!

Sign the online petition to bring the red to Apple.

Upgrade?

I started following @SteveJobQuotes on Twitter when the account appeared following his untimely death.

image

The account was exactly that — inspirational quotes from Jobs taken from his live talks or book.

It was food for thought.

But lately the tweets have taken a turn. Only today, “The best ways to flirt” and “Deadly fashion sins” were on their newsfeed.

I can’t picture Jobs having much to say on either topic, except perhaps —

“A black turtleneck is always right.”

Home improvement

I have become a bit of an HGTV addict since a visit to a good friend last August.

Now the channel is the background noise in my apartment. Property Brothers, Fixer Upper, and Love It or List It are major distractions. And I hear this tired cliche from homeowners all the time
happywifehappylife

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps I should be thrilled that the woman is ‘winning’ in this scenario, but instead it kinda pisses me off.

I’ve never been married, but I envision a partnership of sorts where decisions are made together and compromise is key. This credo makes it sound like the wife is some crabby curmudgeon who holds every outcome over her husband’s head.  If its doesn’t go her way, grudges will commence! Sex will be withheld! Pain will be inflicted!

Geez — where’s the love?

And where’s the husband equivalent of this saying?  Is there one?

An unmarried woman wants to know.

 

 

Acid wash

boyfriend jeansWhat does the term ‘boyfriend jeans’ mean to you?

Loose jeans? Distressed jeans?  Or…

Super sexy jeans?

Old Navy is now selling this popular style to girls and babies, and continuing to call them boyfriend jeans. Some parents and psychologists argue that this name is inappropriate for such a young clientele, who shouldn’t be thinking about wearing their boyfriend’s jeans or even have a boyfriend at all.

In the words of Seth and Amy at the SNL Weekend Update desk — “Really?”

I’d argue that the ‘highly sexualized nature’ of the name lies in the minds of these doctors and parents. Jeans shoppers have heard it in the marketplace for years; it simply means ‘loose fitting.’  Any babies and little girls made aware of the name will define it in terms of their own innocent friendships (unless their parents attempt to explain it in an adult context and scar them forever).

Keep calm and carry on, parents. There are far bigger boogie men out there to fight.