Category Archives: Relationships

Upgrade?

I started following @SteveJobQuotes on Twitter when the account appeared following his untimely death.

image

The account was exactly that — inspirational quotes from Jobs taken from his live talks or book.

It was food for thought.

But lately the tweets have taken a turn. Only today, “The best ways to flirt” and “Deadly fashion sins” were on their newsfeed.

I can’t picture Jobs having much to say on either topic, except perhaps —

“A black turtleneck is always right.”

Home improvement

I have become a bit of an HGTV addict since a visit to a good friend last August.

Now the channel is the background noise in my apartment. Property Brothers, Fixer Upper, and Love It or List It are major distractions. And I hear this tired cliche from homeowners all the time
happywifehappylife

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps I should be thrilled that the woman is ‘winning’ in this scenario, but instead it kinda pisses me off.

I’ve never been married, but I envision a partnership of sorts where decisions are made together and compromise is key. This credo makes it sound like the wife is some crabby curmudgeon who holds every outcome over her husband’s head.  If its doesn’t go her way, grudges will commence! Sex will be withheld! Pain will be inflicted!

Geez — where’s the love?

And where’s the husband equivalent of this saying?  Is there one?

An unmarried woman wants to know.

 

 

Acid wash

boyfriend jeansWhat does the term ‘boyfriend jeans’ mean to you?

Loose jeans? Distressed jeans?  Or…

Super sexy jeans?

Old Navy is now selling this popular style to girls and babies, and continuing to call them boyfriend jeans. Some parents and psychologists argue that this name is inappropriate for such a young clientele, who shouldn’t be thinking about wearing their boyfriend’s jeans or even have a boyfriend at all.

In the words of Seth and Amy at the SNL Weekend Update desk — “Really?”

I’d argue that the ‘highly sexualized nature’ of the name lies in the minds of these doctors and parents. Jeans shoppers have heard it in the marketplace for years; it simply means ‘loose fitting.’  Any babies and little girls made aware of the name will define it in terms of their own innocent friendships (unless their parents attempt to explain it in an adult context and scar them forever).

Keep calm and carry on, parents. There are far bigger boogie men out there to fight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a seat

It’s a running gag in television shows and movies —

Dad’s ugly recliner

It often has seen better days, no longer fitting in with Mom’s decorating updates inspired by HGTV. And when Dad sees it, Dad sits in it. And stays.

Oh, the hilarity that the average sitcom has mined from that age-old dynamic. It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

If you remember that chair–or, more tragically, still have that chair sitting in your home and rue the day–perhaps this recliner will help you realize…

Weird-organically-designed-sofa-seat

It could be a lot worse.

WAH!

You know how little kids will cry and scream like they’re dying, and then suddenly turn the tears off like a faucet?

It is surprisingly effective in adulthood.

no signalWhen I was walking Rory before dinner tonight, I heard shouting and crying from somewhere in my neighborhood.  Soon I discovered the source — a woman walking on the other side of my street, having a  fit on her cellphone.

Then suddenly her cellphone signal appeared to drop, and so did the tantrum.

She stopped crying. Her face went slack. She looked as calm and cool as a cucumber as she redialed the number. But as soon as the other party picked up —

Insanity.

I have no idea how successful she was pleading her case on the phone, but she certainly got everyone’s attention on my street.

 

 

Ya gotta listen

My boyfriend  and I just had a very spirited debate about ‘NPR voice’ — that deliberate monitone their radio announcers wear as a badge of honor, a nasal symbol of the inherent quality of their content.

He denies its very existence.

image

It’s all that I can hear.

So I was cheered to read about a woman annoyed by a similar condition —

Poet’s voice

She makes a strong case. Check out her video proof.

Videos — yeah, that’s what I need…

Image

I’ll take seconds

image