Category Archives: Television

A masterpiece

Posted on January 9, 2012 | 2 Comments

Last night was a very special occasion at my house.

I wore the burgundy silk for dinner.  Anna did my hair.  And Mrs. Patmore made a sinful raspberry meringue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was the long-awaited season premiere of Downton Abbey.

Over the holidays, I had taken the quiz “Which Downtown Abbey Character Are You?” and was shocked (not really) to discover I was like Lady Mary. The near-miss heiress of Downtown Abbey?

I so get that.

But last night, seeing all the changes that have taken place at the big house since the first season, I felt a bit more like Mr. Carson.

Why can’t things go back to the way they were?

I don’t like Matthew’s new fiancee, and I especially don’t like Mr. Bates exit at the top of this episode. And poor Lord Grantham is so unhappy. His gentle humor and good spirits were the foundation of season one.

I want him happy. I want Matthew and Mary and Bates and Anna together. I want everyone home and safe, sipping tea and making dinner.

Good thing I’m not writing the show. It would never have lasted.

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Posted in Commentary, Entertainment, Family, History, Humor, Life, Love, Relationships, Television, TV

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Video this

Posted on December 18, 2011 | Leave a comment

Have you watched America’s Funniest Home Videos lately?

Show’s still got game.

I caught part of the Christmas special tonight.  It’s probably the first time I’ve watched the program in 10 years and — darn it — the clips of kids and cats and dogs and grandmas caught in compromising circumstances while celebrating their holidays made me laugh aloud.

Embarrassing, but true.

AFV also kept the holiday show in the family by hosting the special at Disneyland’s Winter Wonderland.  So all the lights and Disney characters and Santa himself added a certain something-something.

Plus, if you are a Tom Bergeron fan like me and find the days between seasons of Dancing with the Stars particularly dark and dreary without his quick wit and showmanship, you can get your weekly dose between clips of painful pratfalls and precocious kiddies.

Tonight was a good reminder for me, too.

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Posted in Celebrities, Commentary, Entertainment, Family, Holiday, Humor, Television, TV

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Drum roll, please

Posted on December 13, 2011 | Leave a comment

Last night on Conan, the house band had a new sound.

A really big sound.

Conan has added, on a trial basis, a timpani drum.  He used it to introduce both himself and his guests.

It was seriously cool.

Don’t remember what a timpani drum sounds like?  Take a listen.

Isn’t that awesome?  Wouldn’t everything — and everybody — sound more important and more exciting if they were introduced with a timpani drum?

Yes.  Yes, they would.

Which got me thinking — my blog posts should be even better if they were preceded by the sound of a timpani drum…right?

I’ll get to work on that.

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Posted in Blogging, Blogs, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Music, Television, TV

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There she is

Posted on December 8, 2011 | Leave a comment

So what does Anderson Cooper have on his mind as the holidays draw near?

Toddlers and tiaras.

Or, more specifically, what effect our princess, pageant and beauty-obsessed society might be having on young girls.

I attended the taping of Anderson today with my friend Caroline.  It was my third time to be a part of his studio audience.

The first time he discussed women who discovered their husbands were cheating online.

Snore.

The second was a special screening of the movie 50/50 followed by the show taping with interviews with the movie’s stars.

Score.

But today’s show, which featured tiny pageant contestants and their moms surrounded by an audience who pretty much all agreed these folks were whackadoodle doos?

Triple word score.

Thanks Anderson, for asking me back!

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Posted in Beauty, Celebrities, Children, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Television, TV

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Boo

Posted on December 1, 2011 | 2 Comments

I like scary things.

I like scary movies — not gory, mind you, but scary.  I saw all three Paranormal Activity films (even the last one which spit all over the franchise) and can’t wait for Daniel Radcliffe’s new venture The Woman in Black.

The trailer totally creeps me out.

I like scary TV shows, too.  American Horror Story is easily the spookiest thing I have ever seen on television (next to Dark Shadows from my childhood days).

Being scared — if only for an instant — is big fun.

But getting a friend request from your unborn child on Facebook? That’s sick scary….as in just a little too real to laugh about later.

But that’s how Olla Condoms, a Brazilian company, has chosen to market their products.  They randomly select men on Facebook, create a fake profile for their unborn sons and then send friend requests with the message “Avoid surprises like this. Use Olla Condoms.”

Jeepers creepers.

It reminds me of a Halloween card that Shoebox had in their line years ago — they may still.  It featured a women on the cover saying, “For Halloween, I wanted to send you the scariest card I could find.”

Inside it said, “I’m pregnant.”

Talk about scary — I couldn’t even hold the card in my hand.

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Posted in Humor, Home, Movies, Internet, Television, TV, Entertainment, Life, Commentary

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Anchor frog

Posted on November 21, 2011 | 1 Comment

If you watched Saturday Night Live this past weekend, three things should be abundantly clear.

  1. Jason Segel rocked it as guest host.
  2. Seducing women through chess is harder than it sounds.
  3. Seth Meyers has finally found his “Weekend Update” co-anchor.

After Amy Poehler left SNL two seasons ago, it appeared that Meyers was destined to sit alone at the anchor desk.  But after Saturday’s inspired edition of “Really?!??! with Kermit and Seth” — starring Kermit the Frog of the Muppets — it appears that Seth has finally found his soul mate.

Have a look-see.

Is Kermit too green to realize?  Will Miss Piggy make life miserable if and when he does? And, most importantly — is Seth too fragile to withstand the body blows to come?

I’d love to see that anchor pairing on SNL.

How ’bout you?

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Posted in Humor, Television, TV, Entertainment, Comedy, Life, News, Commentary

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Final answer

Posted on November 10, 2011 | 5 Comments

Yesterday I mentioned I was doing something that scared me.  As it turned out, that ‘thing’ stretched into today as well.

I was a contestant on Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

Two days, you say?  The show only lasts a half hour.

You are correct.  I spent two days in holding, waiting to be selected to play the game.

Holding is a small room with couches and two windows.  You can’t use your cellphone or the Internet or have any contact with the outside world.  The game show producers keep all potential contestants sequestered there to eliminate any appearance or chance of cheating.

I did finally get to meet Meredith and play the show late this afternoon.  She is as nice as she appears; I made her laugh so hard at one point, they had to stop tape — that’s a personal point of pride.

I can’t talk about the questions I received or reveal the outcome of my game; all I’m legally able to say is “tune in next year” (which is when my episode will most likely air).

When I am notified of the air date, I’ll pass it along.

Everyone watching?  Now, that’s really scary.

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Posted in Celebrities, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Television, TV

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Censor this

Posted on November 5, 2011 | 1 Comment

After a long day yesterday, I was excited to see that Tropic Thunder, the hilarious Vietnam War movie-within-a-movie, was playing on FX. So I settled on the couch, prepared to laugh away my lethargy. But I was soon too annoyed to enjoy the film.

Why?

One of my favorite scenes in the movie — which is also one of the most controversial — was censored.  As in bleeped.  When no curse words were used.

In the scene, actors Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey, Jr.), a five-time Oscar winner, and Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller), an action hero whose career is definitely waning, are discussing Tugg’s recent performance in the movie Simple Jack, where Tugg portrayed a mentally challenged boy ala Forrest Gump.

The conversation pokes fun at actors — how they choose these roles to garner major awards — and not at the characters they portray.  But the comedy is apparently too subtle for some, because FX bleeped out certain words in Lazarus’s speech, thereby killing the scene and the movie (for me).

If he had belittled the Simple Jack character, that would be one thing.  But the whole scene made fun of actors.

Actors!

Trust me, they can take it.  And hopefully have maintained their sense of humor.

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Posted in Business, Comedy, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Movies, Television, TV

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The Ides of Carson

Posted on November 2, 2011 | Leave a comment

A friend had a brilliant inspiration during Dancing with the Stars last night that she posted on Facebook.  Today I devote The Egg to officially launch her campaign:

BERGERON-KRESSLEY
Dancing with the Stars Co-Hosts

That’s right — Brooke Burke out; Carson Kressley in.  If you watched last night’s results show, we all got a taste of exactly what that might look like.

Fun.  High energy.  Witty.  Filled with the unexpected.  All the things that an evening of hosting — and conversation, I would guess — with Brooke Burke is not.

Full disclosure  — I’ve never been a fan of Brooke.  I wasn’t when she started hosting; I’m not now.  While she is lovely to look at, I just don’t think she has much else to offer.

If she were flipping letters on Wheel of Fortune, that would be fine.  But DWTS requires she be quick on her feet, and she’s simply not.  Standing next to Tom Bergeron — the best host in the biz — well, it’s just sad.  And she’s not getting any better.

But Carson and Tom together?  Totally different personalities, of course, but both big.  Both bold.  Both smart as a whip.  And funny?!

Oh, I think America would buy tickets to that party.


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Posted in Celebrities, Comedy, Commentary, dancing, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Television, TV

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Robo Cop

Posted on October 24, 2011 | 1 Comment

Dear New York magazine:

In your October 24th issue you ask, “Who is the toughest robot in the nerd universe?”

A nerd myself, I surveyed with great interest your detailed chart on display,  featuring metal men ranging from C-3PO to Wall-E to Iron Giant to Tik-Tok.

With the help of researchers from the Robotics Institute at Carnegie Mellon University, you crowned as ultimate nerd robot…

Optimus Prime, of Transformers fame

I’m not a fan of the movie, but the robot is pretty bad-ass…so I’m not disputing his right to the title.

My beef?

The world’s coolest robot skeleton being left out of the mix.

Geoff Peterson of the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Sure, he’s scrawny, only has one working arm and no lower extremities.  But his ballsy personality alone would have Optimus Prime eating out of the palm of his hand.

The one that works.

So, keep asking the tough questions, New York mag.  Just don’t make them multiple-choice until you know your nerds better.

Careful, Icarus.

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Posted in Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Movies, Technology, Television, TV

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