Category Archives: transportation

It’s a living

Posted on May 22, 2013 | Leave a comment

I can be chatty in airport gate areas if I’m bored — even more so if my plane is delayed by weather.

Last night at DFW I ended up commiserating with a fellow passenger as we waited for our flight.  He was from Brooklyn, and sold..

Helicopters

hermes-helicopter2He had gone to Dallas to deliver one to a corporate client and was headed home.

I found his job to be very entertaining.  I don’t know exactly why.

I’m sure selling helicopters is not that different from selling cars or trucks or farm machinery.  But it is just such a niche….and absolutely the last thing I expected him to say in the long list of possible occupations.

And I kept thinking, “Man, where was this guy when I was doing improv comedy back in Kansas City?“

‘Helicopter salesman’ would have been such a great suggestion.

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Airplanes, Business, Comedy, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel, Weather

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ducktanic

Posted on May 1, 2013 | Leave a comment

When I was in Singapore this past weekend, I thought about flying on to Australia.  It’s only a seven-hour flight.

This guy made that voyage by water…in the opposite direction.

world's largest rubber duck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rubber Duck, a ginormous piece of conceptual art by Florentijin Hofman, was last spied bobbing about in Sydney’s Darling Harbor. Today the inflatable duck, which measures 46 feet tall and 55 feet long, arrived in Victoria Harbour in Hong Kong for a month’s stay with a little help from a much smaller tug boat.

Let’s call it a Duck Boat — it’s earned it!

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Animals, Art, Humor, Life, Toys, transportation, Travel

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear New York City airports,

Posted on April 28, 2013 | Leave a comment

I will be headed back your way in less than 48 hours. Coming home is always a pleasure. But let’s be honest, my Big Apple airstrips…

Youse guys are fugly.

My current trip through Narita-Tokyo Airport en route to Singapore drove that point home…hard. I only spent two hours in Japan, and the ultramodern, high-tech facility convinced me that JFK and LGA need a major redo.

2013-04-28_09.08.16We can begin with a fun identity for each of you. Look at this little guy; he graces most of the signage at Narita Airport.

What is he?  Who cares? He’s cute… and LaGuardia could use a major dose of cuteness… JFK, too.

There’s nothing cute about either of you now.  No offense.

And speaking of high-tech, check out this gadget in the airport restrooms in Narita.

2013-04-28_09.14.23The facilities in Japan have talents that go far beyond the simple flush. (Come to think of it, everyone was smiling a lot.)

Lastly, you need better food…but I’ve always said that.

Okay, NYC airports, get started.  I’ll be back in two days, and I am expecting great things!

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Advertising, Airplanes, Commentary, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Safety is fun!

Posted on April 13, 2013 | 2 Comments

Move over, Southwest Airlines.  There’s a new contender for ‘funniest in the air.’

Delta Airlines

Their new safety video is filled with sight gags large and small.  I’ve seen it on two flights, and am still discovering all the little surprises they have left for the attentive viewer.

juggling chainsawscartwheelsMy favorites?  Bogus safety stickers featured on distant cabin walls.  Sure, we are used to observing “No smoking” and “No electronics”…but “No juggling chainsaws” and “No cartwheels”?

(The video version on my flight also featured “No comb overs”, which I sadly could not find online.)

A robot turns himself off when the cabin door shuts.  The main spokesperson changes clothing and accessories for no apparent reason. And remember the “cat lady” who did the previous safety video for Delta? She makes a cameo, too.

It’s worth a watch or two or seven.  I’ve never enjoyed a safety video more. Or, in fact…

Watched one.

→ 2 Comments

Posted in Airplanes, Comedy, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Internet, Life, transportation, Travel

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Quick trip

Posted on March 7, 2013 | Leave a comment

I just attended a business meeting at an airport hotel.

hilton chicagoNot near the airport. Not within two miles.  Not conveniently offering a hotel shuttle.

In the airport itself.

I never went outside. I never saw the city. Heck, I never even saw the sun except from the meeting room windows (and we drew the shades).

Then I jumped on a plane and headed home — on an earlier flight, no less, because I was at the airport and could.

Is it wrong to want to minimize the travel in my business travel?  To reduce the trip to the quickest way between points A and B and back again?  To forget the city my meeting was in because I never made it to the city?

You know, I’m okay with that.  ‘Cause I’m almost home.

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Airplanes, Business, Commentary, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lost my train of thought

Posted on February 16, 2013 | 1 Comment

If my Saturday was a train, it would be derailed.

And what was the object blocking the tracks?

while you were sleepingWhile You Were Sleeping (1995)

This classic romantic comedy (which I have seen way too many times to count) aired on HBO mid-morning — right about the time on a Saturday that you make that fateful decision:

Productive or potato?

But when I heard the first strains of the movie soundtrack, I knew I was beat.  I love watching Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman together on screen…even if it is for the hundredth time.

So there I sat for the next two hours.  And then I had to walk the dog and eat lunch and watch the painful UK-UT game and suddenly — it’s late afternoon.

Oh well.  Tomorrow I won’t turn on the premium channels so early here at the ‘station.’

→ 1 Comment

Posted in Humor, Movies, Travel, Entertainment, Celebrities, Life, Commentary, transportation

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Image

News to use

image

→ 2 Comments

Posted on February 2, 2013 in Business, Design, Games, Life, transportation

Tagged , , , , , ,

Money go bye-bye

Posted on January 22, 2013 | Leave a comment

Have you ever wondered how budget airlines can offer such low fares?

Pull up a chair.

Airplane-Taking-OffI flew Spirit Airlines today for the first time. The one-way flight from New York City to Fort Lauderdale was an incredible $83…so I bit. And learned how they quickly make up the difference.

It’s kinda ingenious.

While all airlines charge for checked baggage, Spirit also charges for carry-on bags beyond your one personal item. And that charge is on a sliding scale: $30 online, $50 at the counter, $100 at the gate.

Yowsa.

Plus, it’s cheaper to check the bag.  Needless to say, I had no trouble finding overhead space on today’s flight.

Spirit also charges for all in-flight drinks and food, following the movie theater practice of combo meals. So folks who want a soda end up spending more because it appears to be a better value to buy more.

Yep.  When all was said and done, I’m pretty sure my ‘budget’ flight cost as much or more than the Delta flight that was my second choice.

Oh well.  I did get animals crackers with my Diet Coke.

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Airplanes, Business, Commentary, transportation, Travel

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Zzzzzzz

Posted on November 29, 2012 | 1 Comment

I took a late train to Hartford tonight.

I was sleep-deprived.  I had two seats to myself.  I was gonna stretch out and get a nap.

But I couldn’t get comfortable lying down.  So I sat back up and stared into space….and woke up 30 minutes later, head pitched forward practically in my lap.

Why is falling asleep sitting up so easy for me?

I do it more and more on the couch watching TV.  I awake to find my dog staring at me, a look of concern on his face (or he could just want a treat).

Luckily, I’m not the only one with this habit.

 

 

 

 

Hope I look that cute.

→ 1 Comment

Posted in Health, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Taxi talk

Posted on November 27, 2012 | Leave a comment

Cause or effect?

Do I tend to get chatty cab drivers…or make cab drivers more chatty?

Regardless, my conversation with George — who drove me to the train station today in Paoli, Pennsylvania — now puts me at two degrees of separation from Beyonce herself.

Put a ring on that.

George’s nephew is one of Beyonce’s dancers..and is currently featured on Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition. Abby is the Abby Lee of Dance Moms fame. I’ve seen one episode of Ultimate, but of course didn’t realize I was gazing upon George’s nephew.

George himself is a DJ: he says the entire family is musical. And everyone is mighty proud of their boy for his work with Beyonce…as they should be.

Regardless of the reason, I’m glad George got chatty with me.  What a fun story!

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Celebrities, dancing, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Relationships, Television, transportation, Travel

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,