Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine gets in the cab that reeks of killer B.O.?
The smell stuck to her clothes — was even in her mouth — long after she got out of the taxi.
I can do her one better.
After being out of town all week — four cities in four days, two missed flights, and more airplane boxed meals than I care to remember — I excitedly jumped in the cab to get home to my dog. And what was there to greet me?
KILLER FARTS
I say farts (plural) because it wasn’t just one that faded away as I sat there. No, the odor was constant and cloying and seemed to invade every pore of my skin.
Elaine, if you’re out there in your imaginary world, I’m pretty sure farts trump B.O. — I win!
Which means I lose. Oh yes, I lose BIG TIME.
Scare me, please
When I was but a wee lass, I watched Dark Shadows every afternoon after school.
It scared the bejeezers out of me.
So I was particularly excited to see what horrors Tim Burton’s remake would hold, especially with his favorite lead Johnny Depp occupying the role of Barnabas.
Then I saw the trailer this weekend on television and quickly discovered…
The new Dark Shadows is a comedy.
True, it’s a dark comedy, and I can appreciate their sense of humor. I’ll no doubt go see it out of curiosity at the very least.
But I’m sad to say that Depp’s version of Barnabas will never elicit a single gasp of fear or horror.
Except, perhaps, at the 70′s clothing.
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