Tag Archives: airplane cockpit

Air space

So, I’m standing in Hudson News at DFW this afternoon, pretending to select a magazine (but really in a bit of a post-meeting fog), when the lights in the airport newsstand suddenly appeared to dim.

It wasn’t an emergency situation, or even a passing storm.  No, the tallest airline pilot I have ever seen in my life stood next to me and temporarily blotted out the light!

I kid you not — this guy must have been seven feet tall!  I spent the rest of my time at the racks watching him stare at magazines and wondered…

How the heck does he fit in that teeny tiny cockpit??

Granted, in the post-9/11 era, none of us are doing cockpit tours a la “Airplane!”  But from the quickest of peeks that I’ve taken when boarding, their ride looks even more cramped than mine back in coach.

So, I did what I always do when I have a question — I turn to Google.  According to airlinepilotforums.com, all jets have adjustable rudder pedals and seats.  So, presumably, even the Goliath pilot that was purchasing woodworking mags earlier today has legroom during his flight.

So, now I know.  And now you know.

And when I get on my flight today, I’m going to ask the flight attendant where my adjustable rudder pedals are!

Cleared for take-off

I see a lot of movies, it’s true.

But no matter how many I see, my favorite comedy continues to be “Airplane!

I still remember the day I saw it — so very long ago — barely able to breathe during the movie because I was laughing so hard.  I didn’t know I was witnessing the birth of a completely new genre; all I knew is that this was the most hilarious movie I had ever seen in my (then) young life.

I can’t count how many times I have watched “Airplane!” over the years.  The lines from the movie are second nature to me now.  I can start one, and a friend will finish it.  That’s how much a part of our culture this screwball comedy has become.

So, today I dedicate this blog to the late Peter Graves, who played the delightfully creepy Captain Clarence Oveur in “Airplane!”   Back then, passengers could visit the cockpit — imagine that! — and little Joey had a lovely conversation with our captain…

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I’ve never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a… in a Turkish prison?

Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

There are so many things wrong about that scene…ya gotta love it.

I know many people will remember Peter Graves for his work in “Mission Impossible” and other more dramatic works, but I prefer the pitch perfect timing he displayed in “Airplane!” along with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as co-pilot Roger Murdoch.

Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9′er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9′er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9′er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower’s radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That’s Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?