For trainers everywhere
For my Southern sisters
For Jennifer
Happy Friday!
Fast food restaurants have been keeping secrets. Not posting their full menus. Holding out.
But they can’t hide from CNN.
CNN busted them. Shone a light. Spread the word. And now we can order some truly spectacular food items that still aren’t on the menu.
Won’t stop me.
I gots to have a Neapolitan milkshake — chocolate, vanilla and strawberry shake layered in the same cup.
McDonald’s, Burger King and In-N-Out have ‘em…if you just ask. And why wouldn’t you?
It’s sweet genius.
Or how about a big ol’ order of frings? That’s half onion rings, half french fries, served in the same order. Why choose if you don’t have to? And isn’t frings way more fun to say?
Don’t answer. We know it’s true.
And for my vegan family members — you know who you are — step right up to the counter at Fatburger and order the Hypocrite. It’s a veggie burger with several strips of crispy bacon perched right on top.
Add a side of Sticky Eggs and you’ve got yourself a meal!
Posted in Cooking, Food, Foods, Humor, Life, Restaurants
Tagged bacon, Burger King, chocolate milkshake, commentary, cooking, fast food, Fatburger, food, Foods, french fries, frings, Humor, Hypocrite burger, In-N-Out, life, McDonald's, menu items, menus, Neapolitan milkshake, onion rings, restaurants, secret menu items, strawberry milkshake, The Sticky Egg, vanilla milkshake, vegan, veggie burger
If any meat deserves a rhyme,
It would be pork…every time.
Oh yeah — that sings!
Posted in Comedy, Entertainment, Food, Foods, Humor, Life
Tagged bacon, comedy, food, Foods, Humor, life, photography, poem, poetry, pork, rhyme, roses are red, Scott Emmons
Uh oh. Those ‘newly married’ friends of yours have already lasted an entire year! It’s time to buy an anniversary present — what to do?
No worries — it’s Flitch Day!
According to customs that have been in place since the 15th century, any couple who can prove to a jury of bachelors and maidens that they have lived together in ‘harmony and fidelity’ during the past year gets a flitch of bacon.
(That’s a side of bacon in modern speak.)
No more checking their registry at Target. No more worrying about colors or style of decor. Agonizing about sizes is a thing of the past.
Just pass that platter of bacon to the lucky bride and groom!
(William and Kate are going to be so excited…)
Posted in Comedy, Foods, Friends, Humor, Life, Love, Relationships, Weddings
Tagged 15th century customs, anniversaries, anniversary gift, bacon, bacon gifts, bacon platter, bridal registry, bride and groom, color palette, comedy, cooking, Flitch Day, flitch of bacon, food, Foods, friends, gifts, harmony and fidelity, home decor, Humor, jury of bachelors and maidens, life, love, married couples, modern speak, newlyweds, registry, Relationships, side of bacon, Target, weddings, William and Kate
I cooked last night.
Yes, this is a blog-worthy event.
I made breakfast for dinner. Biscuits — from a can, I admit — and milk gravy.
Here in New York City, the term ‘milk gravy’ is greeted with much confusion. So I will explain further in case you are also reading this with your head cocked to the side in bewilderment.
In a skillet on medium heat, I browned flour in vegetable oil. (Bacon grease is the first choice, but I didn’t have any.) To the flour, I added milk, stirring constantly over low heat.
Now, during this process, there was a lot of adjusting — how much oil, how much flour, how much milk. I even added some water at the end to thin the gravy…plus salt and pepper to taste.
But, I must say, the final product was nothing short of amazing.
Filling? Yes. Heavy? Oh yes. I even added bacon to the plate, so there’s nothing about this meal that my doctor recommends.
But it does a heart good to enjoy such a feast on a good, damp New York City night.
Posted in Cooking, Dieting, Family, Food, Foods, Health, Home, Humor, Life
Tagged bacon, bacon grease, biscuits, biscuits and gravy, blog, blog worthy, breakfast, breakfast for dinner, cooking, diet, dinner, family, feast, flour, food, Foods, gravy, Health, home, Humor, life, milk gravy, New York City, oil, pepper, salt
While The Sticky Egg’s moniker is pure poultry, I have never attempted to hide my preference for pork.
From its good looks on your breakfast table to the Red Bull-like jolt it can give your day, bacon’s the bomb. And pork chops? Well…let’s just say if they’re on a restaurant menu, I have a hard time not ordering them.
I guess it’s really not that surprising for a girl whose home town (Fancy Farm, Kentucky) is in the Guinness Book of World Records for holding the Largest One-Day Barbecue in the World — that’s pork barbecue, my friend.
So I read with particular interest that the National Pork Board has changed their slogan from
“Pork — the Other White Meat”
to
“Pork — Be Inspired.”
Sorry, board members — I’m not.
Look — I appreciate the fact that you’ve stopped comparing pork to chicken. By now folks get the fact that pork is a lean, healthy — and let’s face it, tastier — alternative. And now you want to create a more emotional connection.
But I’m pretty sure a trite phrase like “Be Inspired” is going to elicit quite different emotions than you planned. Emotions like scorn. Derision. Boredom. All of which will lead viewers to first mock the lame ads and then, worst of all, ignore them completely.
At least the old tag line showed a spark of creativity. The new one sounds like it was penned during a ten-minute elevator conversation (although the dollars spent on its creation would probably make me cry).
National Pork Board: If you truly want pork lovers to “be inspired” in the kitchen, why not start by inspiring them?
Posted in Advertising, Business, Commentary, Cooking, Family, Food, Foods, Health, Home, Humor, Life, Restaurants, Television, TV
Tagged advertising, advertising slogan, bacon, barbecue, breakfast meat, Broadway, chicken, commentary, family, food, Foods, Guinness Book of Worlds Records, Health, home, Humor, life, national pork board, national pork board slogan, pork, pork barbecue, pork be inspired, pork chops, pork lovers, pork the other white meat, poultry, Red Bull, restaurant menu, Television, TV
Ask any business traveler — the success of any off-site conference, meeting or training session hinges upon one essential element:
BACON
It’s that simple.
Any time you gather together individuals for two or more days away from home — away from their families, their routines, their creature comforts — you must provide bacon at breakfast to insure their stamina and good health.
(I mean mental health, of course.)
Even if these businessmen and women don’t regularly eat bacon at home, offering them bacon each morning during your meeting will automatically adjust their attitude towards the positive, making them more tolerant for whatever amazing agenda your company has planned.
I know of what I speak. It’s Saturday. I’m working all day at a meeting in Los Angeles. My head won’t hit the pillow until the wee hours of the morning.
How will I motor through?
Bacon. It’s what’s for breakfast.
Posted in Airplanes, Business, Comedy, Commentary, Cooking, Food, Foods, Humor, Life, Travel
Tagged attitude adjustment, bacon, breakfast, Business, business travel, comedy, commentary, conferences, food, Foods, Humor, life, Los Angeles, off-site meetings, training session, Travel, working weekends
In my book, bacon is the perfect food. Smells great. Tastes even better. And there’s that hilarious dog treat commercial:
“Bacon, bacon, bacon! I can’t READ!!!”
Ah, bacon, (said the Sticky Egg). But today I learned two things about bacon that I did not know.
1. There’s a website dedicated to this porkiest of delights: BaconToday.com
(I’ll be bookmarking that one before my next breakfast.)
2. Graphic designer Neil Caldwell has created bacon in the colors of the rainbow.
Does bacon need to be in bright colors? No. Will they make it taste better? Probably not. But ya gotta admit — it’s pretty amazing looking. And the colors maintain their brightness post-cooking.
BaconToday.com points out that the bright colors will almost guarantee kids will eat their bacon…something I’m sure every mother worries about each morning. My first thought was home decor. Now you can match your meat to your kitchen colors…or the holiday you’re celebrating…or that color that suits your personality best.
That rainbow rasher in the photo would make a great centerpiece in and of itself. You don’t even have to eat bacon to appreciate it.
Caldwell is keeping mum about how he makes his bacon bright, but I have a feeling food companies will pay him big bucks for his secret. Bacon isn’t the only food even more attractive in living color.
Posted in Business, Food, Foods, Humor, Life, Philosophy, Travel
Tagged bacon, bacontoday.com, colored bacon, Fashion, food, graphic designer Neil Caldwell, home decor, Humor, in living color, Internet, Neil Caldwell, rainbow bacon
How I see it
It’s been almost a year since The Egg dared to ask:
Why do so many people attempt to photograph the food they are eating?
I argued amateur attempts often make food and drink look — well — unappetizing. Comments in response to my post disagreed.
Point taken.
But I did want to share an example of some exceptional professional food photography…by Lincoln Barbour.
Look at the color, the lighting, the composition. This is no simple shot of half-eaten eggs and bacon on a plate –
This is art.
That’s all I’m saying.
→ Leave a comment
Posted in Art, Commentary, Design, Food, Humor, Life, Photography
Tagged art, bacon, best breakfast, blog, color, commentary, composition, design, egss and bacon, flat top grill, food, food photography, Fuller's Restaurant, Humor, life, lighting, Lincoln Barbour, photography, Portland, Portland Monthly, Portland Oregon, restaurants, Travel