“Give me a place to stand, and I will move the Earth.”
Archimedes, considered by many to be the greatest mathematician of all time, said that.
Clearly he never loitered in New York City.
On two separate occasions yesterday afternoon, while shopping around my neighborhood in the Upper West Side, I became a person of interest…
….simply because I stood in one place too long.
The first incident occurred in Barnes & Noble. I was talking on my cell phone and moved to a deserted corner so I wouldn’t disturb anyone with my conversation. After a while, I noticed B&N security standing to one side, pointedly looking at me. The guard continued to stare until I moved to another section of the store.
I’m so gangsta.
Since they didn’t have the magazine I was looking for anyway, I continued walking down the street. When the wind picked up, I stepped into a deep window alcove to shield the phone’s mouthpiece. The window shutters were closed, so I didn’t pay attention to the folks inside.
Until I realized they had noticed me.
There was a kitchen on the other side. The cooks gave me curious looks through the narrow space between the slats. Eventually one moved closer to the window, stirring the batter in his bowl, squinting in curiosity.
That’s when I decided to move it along….and realized another wonderful advantage of having a home.
Sure, it provides shelter from the elements and a place to sleep. But it’s the one place you can sit on your butt or stand in place without moving — no explanation required.
So, that’s why we pay the big rents in NYC.
Save the date
The last day of 2011. Blogs are filled with the year in review, ‘best of’ lists, and previews of what’s to come.
Me? I’m just psyched about my new calendar.
We may be living in a digital world, carrying our lives around on our smartphones, but I still love selecting the wall calendar that hangs over the desk in my home office.
It used to be a no-brainer — the New Yorker dog cartoons calendar every year. And then they stopped making it two years ago.
Bums.
So now I journey to Barnes & Noble, not knowing what calendar on the racks and spinners before me will catch my eye. But this year’s selection was an exciting combination of all the things I hold most dear:
Dogs. Movies. Celebrities. Kitch.
Yeah, that’s a cat. But he wasn’t dressed up for the photo. All the Jack Sparrow-ness was digitally added later.
There’s also Andy Warhol. And Austin Powers. Dame Edna. Mother Teresa.
Yep. It’s gonna be a good year.
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Posted in Animals, Art, Blogs, Celebrities, Commentary, Dogs, Holiday, Humor, Life, New Years
Tagged 2011, 2012, 2012 calendar, 2012 preview, a very good year, art, Barnes & Noble, best of 2011, blogs, cats, celebrities, commentary, design, digital manipulation, Dogs, Holiday, home office, Humor, Jack Sparrow, kitsch, life, Movies, New Yorker, New Yorker dog cartoons, pets, pets rock 2012, sales rack, spinner, wall calendar, year in review