I’m sorry, Philadelphia. I didn’t mean to.
When I moved to New York City three years ago, I had hoped being a sports team ‘good luck charm’ would help the Mets, but alas — the Yankees win.
I’m not any happier about this than you are.
Even though my powers are extremely strong — and becoming more legendary by the day– I’ve never had much control over them.
They first surfaced in Kansas City in 1992. Mere weeks after I moved there, Joe Montana signed with the Chiefs. Kansas City didn’t win a Super Bowl under Joe, but they were definitely post-season contenders.
I moved to Boston in 2000 and lived there for six years. I think we all know what impact I had on that town. I helped the Red Sox break the curse and win the World Series not once, but twice. The Patriots won the Super Bowl not once, not twice, but three times while I was in town.
And the minute I moved to New York City — we’re talking, I’d been in town just a couple of months — the New York Giants won the Super Bowl by beating the Patriots.
My power is infinite and brutal and — with the Yankees’ World Series win just last night — impossible to target.
I don’t like the Yankees. I consider them to be the demon seed. I thought that when I moved to New York City, my powers would help the Mets, who — let’s face it– could really use it. But so far, nothing. Nada. And now this.
I’m starting to wonder who’s behind my powers, if, indeed, the Yankees win.