Tag Archives: Business

That’s the spirit

Posted on December 24, 2011 | Leave a comment

Did you know you can track Santa’s progress tonight via NORAD?

Yep, as in the North American Aerospace Defense Command.  And all because of a misprinted phone number.

Back in 1955, a newspaper ad for a Sears store in Colorado Springs advertised a direct line to Santa Claus.  Callers instead reached CONRAD  — NORAD’s predecessor — and hotline operator Colonel Harry Shoup obligingly used the radar to track Santa for the kids on the line.

That’s customer service, folks.

And a tradition was born.  Since 1958, NORAD volunteers have personally responded to phone calls and emails about Santa from children all around the world. Today NORAD provides up-to-the-minute info on Santa’s location via Google Earth and Google Maps, and Twitter and Facebook posts about each sighting, including the cookies and beverages consumed by the big man at each stop.

Talk about turning a wrong into a right.

Way to go, Harry.

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Posted in Business, Christmas, Commentary, Holiday, Humor, Internet, Life

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Cheesy goodness

Posted on December 22, 2011 | 1 Comment

I’m not a big one for tradition.  I’m not sentimental or conventional.  I actually enjoy being a bit of an outlier.

Call me, Malcolm.

But when I come back to Kansas City, there is a ritual that I simply have to complete before the first 24 hours are through.

I gotta go to Margarita’s.

I love everything about this local Mexican restaurant.  I love driving up and seeing its homely exterior.  I love the crowded parking lot that challenges every visitor.  I love the swoosh of heat and cheese that greets you when you open the door.

I love the expected wait (but I love last night’s unexpected quick seating even better).  I love the utilitarian tables, menus and rolled silverware.  I love the freaky, modernistic artwork that hasn’t changed in a decade.

Most of all, I love the food.  The chips and salsa.  The queso dip.  The nachos.  The quesadillas and burritos.  The fried ice cream like no other.  The simple yummy goodness, the sameness of my Mexican food home away from home.

Well, what do you know?

I am sentimental after all.

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Posted in Commentary, Food, Humor, Life, Restaurants, Travel

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Moon landing

Posted on December 4, 2011 | Leave a comment

I finished my Christmas shopping this morning.  Bought the final gift online, picked a shipping date and sent it on its merry way.

It’s a great feeling.

But wouldn’t you know it?  As soon as I crossed everyone’s name off my list, I discovered the perfect present for any hard-to-buy-for person.  It’s another exciting Google search find:

Lunar Land

That’s right.  You or someone you love can join the over 5,000,000 people from 176 countries who own personal property on Earth’s sexiest satellite.

According to the website, Lunar Embassy is the only company to possess the ‘legal basis and copyright’ for Lunar Land.  It is available in a variety of packages, all which include one lunar acre of land.  (The amount of documentation included drives the price.)

Our family draws names at Christmas, and as soon as the pairings are announced, the emails start flying, requesting gift ideas.

If only I had discovered Lunar Land even an hour sooner!

To the moon, Alice! — Ralph Kramden, The Honeymooners

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Posted in Astrology, Commentary, dreams, Entertainment, Holiday, Humor, Internet, Shopping

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Oh Canada

Posted on December 2, 2011 | 1 Comment

American Airlines — you know, the bankrupt one — sent me an email reminder last night to check-in for my ‘international flight.’

Can I really leave the country on American Eagle in less than 90 minutes?

Turns out I can.

That breathtaking view is Toronto, Ontario.  This won’t be my first visit there, but my first real opportunity to see the city .  Last time the weather was so heinous, I only saw the airport and my hotel, which was located on the outskirts of the city.

Didn’t step a foot outside.

This trip I’m staying in the heart of the city.  So I’m crossing all my available appendages that it will be nice enough outside to do a little sightseeing during my 30-hour stay.  But the forecast says ‘light snow.’

How many inches = light in the Great White North?

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Posted in Airplanes, Business, Commentary, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel

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Parts is parts

Posted on November 29, 2011 | 1 Comment

Take a good look at your body.

Which part is worth the big bucks?

Lots of celebs have had to answer that question…and have taken big insurance policies as a result.  Many make perfect sense.

Others are kinda surprising.

Let’s start with the more expected ones.  Supermodel and Project Runway host Heidi Klum has her legs insured for $2 million with London’s Phillips de Pury & Co., although her right leg is supposedly worth more than her left which has a small scar.

And Rolling Stones’ guitarist Keith Richards has his hands insured for $1.6 million with Lloyd’s of London.

They make their living off their limbs, so it stands to reason (even if Richards doesn’t).

But a $10 million policy on actress America Ferrara’s smile?  Just because she hawks Crest White Strips?  And a $120 million worth of insurance on St. Louis Cardinal Mark McGuire’s ankle?

His ankle?  It doesn’t even swing the bat!

Of course, that’s nothing compared to David Beckham’s whopping $195 million policy that covers his entire body — the largest personal insurance policy in sports history — because a lot of his income comes from endorsements.

Beckham can’t bend it if he isn’t pretty.

Which brings us back to today’s burning question…

What body part would you insure?  What is most valuable to you, your livelihood and your quality of life?

Like Keith Richards, I would insure my hands.  Not because I can play any musical instrument well enough to earn even my lunch money, but because I use them to earn a living.  And to take care of my day-to-day needs.

And to play on Facebook and Twitter.

Heck, that’s worth a couple of million dollars right there.

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Posted in Business, Celebrities, Comedy, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life

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Mixed messages

Posted on November 26, 2011 | Leave a comment

I’m feeling very two-dimensional today.

Or that’s what the Huffington Post would have me believe.

I like Huff Post.  I find myself reading it most days…either by going there directly or via a link from another source.

But today I noticed — for the first time — that Huff Post defines issues of interest to women in a pretty narrow way.  Just check out their navigation.

Business, politics and tech are all broken up into six sub-categories apiece.  Entertainment has eight, culture 10, lifestyle 12.

But women?

Complicated creatures that we are, Huff Post sums us up in two — healthy living and parents.  That’s all they got.  Sure hope you fall into one of those buckets.

Of course, it could be worse.

Men didn’t even rate the header.

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Posted in Blog, Blogging, Blogs, Commentary, Humor, Internet, Life, Relationships, Writing

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Toys gone wild

Posted on November 20, 2011 | Leave a comment

I’ve heard of baby dolls that go potty…

…but dolls with potty mouths?

Some customers are demanding Toys R Us pull the “You & Me Interactive Play & Giggle Triplet Dolls” from their shelves because one of the dolls says “you crazy bitch.”

Triplet’s got ‘tude.

The dolls are sold exclusively at Toys R Us and are intended for children 2 years and up.  The store says the complaints have been scattered and they will stand behind the product.

Listen for yourself.

Personally?  I think the doll did it.  And I think parents are crazy not to want to keep it around.

Your kids start cursing?  You would never talk that way in front of them.  Must be that darn baby doll the children wanted so badly.

Not your fault.  Nope, you’re good parents.

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Posted in Children, Commentary, Family, Humor, Life, News, Shopping, Toys

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Sitting pretty

Posted on November 19, 2011 | 3 Comments

I was wondering what I would write today, and then it hit me.

Literally.

I was sitting on the airplane, and the passenger in front of me reclined his seat back in one fast, forceful, in-my-face motion.  Since he was quite tall, his head was suddenly inches from my face.

There was no look back to see if I had my tray table down.  (It was.)  No quick check to make sure he wouldn’t overturn food or crush a laptop.  (I almost dropped both.)  He just pushed his way into my personal space.

This was war.

Now, I have a lot of sympathy for the overly tall on airplanes.  I have given up my exit row seat on more than one occasion to folks jammed into middle seats.  But this man had two seats to himself.  He could have easily angled his body to gain more legroom without robbing me of mine.

Allowing seats to recline on airplanes is based on the assumption that people will do the right thing.  Can we assume that anymore?

Sadly, I think not.

So I propose that, going forward, we remove the recline lever from all airplane seats.  Instead, the standard airplane seat will be set at a gentle recline at all times.  This compromise position will accommodate the majority of travelers and do away with the growing recline lever abuse.

It will also free up flight attendants of one pre- and post-flight announcement and duty — no more seat backs to straighten or police.

I like it.  What say you?  Vote in the poll below.  Be heard!

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Posted in Airplanes, Blogging, Blogs, Business, Commentary, Design, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel

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Warp speed

Posted on November 7, 2011 | 1 Comment

I know celebrities and regular people live in different worlds…

But do their clocks work differently, too?

Case in point: Lindsay Lohan.

She was recently sentenced to 30 days in jail for violating the terms of her probation. Last night at nine she checked into the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynnwood, California…and promptly checked right back out at 1:30am.

Turns out 30 days in the real world is only 4.5 hours to the celebrity set.

I wonder if it works that way for everything.

On talk shows and interviews, actors are always bemoaning their long days on the set — sometimes 14-16 hours for some television shows and movies.  If they are using ‘regular people time’ (so we will be able to understand, bless our hearts), in celebrity terms they may actually only be working about….10 minutes.

Good work if you can get it.

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Posted in Business, Celebrities, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Movies, News

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Censor this

Posted on November 5, 2011 | 1 Comment

After a long day yesterday, I was excited to see that Tropic Thunder, the hilarious Vietnam War movie-within-a-movie, was playing on FX. So I settled on the couch, prepared to laugh away my lethargy. But I was soon too annoyed to enjoy the film.

Why?

One of my favorite scenes in the movie — which is also one of the most controversial — was censored.  As in bleeped.  When no curse words were used.

In the scene, actors Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey, Jr.), a five-time Oscar winner, and Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller), an action hero whose career is definitely waning, are discussing Tugg’s recent performance in the movie Simple Jack, where Tugg portrayed a mentally challenged boy ala Forrest Gump.

The conversation pokes fun at actors — how they choose these roles to garner major awards — and not at the characters they portray.  But the comedy is apparently too subtle for some, because FX bleeped out certain words in Lazarus’s speech, thereby killing the scene and the movie (for me).

If he had belittled the Simple Jack character, that would be one thing.  But the whole scene made fun of actors.

Actors!

Trust me, they can take it.  And hopefully have maintained their sense of humor.

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Posted in Business, Comedy, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Movies, Television, TV

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