Tag Archives: cars

It’s a living

I can be chatty in airport gate areas if I’m bored — even more so if my plane is delayed by weather.

Last night at DFW I ended up commiserating with a fellow passenger as we waited for our flight.  He was from Brooklyn, and sold..

Helicopters

hermes-helicopter2He had gone to Dallas to deliver one to a corporate client and was headed home.

I found his job to be very entertaining.  I don’t know exactly why.

I’m sure selling helicopters is not that different from selling cars or trucks or farm machinery.  But it is just such a niche….and absolutely the last thing I expected him to say in the long list of possible occupations.

And I kept thinking, “Man, where was this guy when I was doing improv comedy back in Kansas City?

‘Helicopter salesman’ would have been such a great suggestion.

Live long and…you know the rest

StarTrekIntoDarkness_FinalUSPosterIf Star Trek Into Darkness opens in your city today, I encourage you to see it.

I saw it yesterday in IMAX 3D, and it was amazing…especially the new enemy of the Federation portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch.

You know Sherlock on BBC?  He’s the one.

But if you can’t get to the movie theatre today or even this weekend — I understand there are people who can actually wait weeks and even months; go figure — take a look at the “Star Trek Challenge” Audi spot featuring Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto.

It’s too much fun.

Twinkle twinkle

Christmas lights seem to go up earlier and earlier each year.

I’ve seen them here in New York City for a couple of weeks already, and on the posts of friends on Facebook, too.

But here is one display that I would enjoy seeing year round…

Think they plug into the cigarette lighter?

Deutsch Taxifahrer, Teil zwei

As you may recall, last night’s German taxi driver was a conspiracy theorist.

And tonight’s?

He put his hands over his ears when I said hello.

Now, I know I don’t speak German, but seriously — does the very sound of an American voice offend?

I think it scared this guy.

He quickly walked back to his cab and said, “I’m old man. No English.” To which I brilliantly responded,

“Okay.”

That was our entire conversation…until we arrived at the hotel, where he pointed to the meter, and said “Marriott.”

I considered putting my hands over my ears, but I’m pretty sure the humor wouldn’t translate.

Hear ye

On the surface, Hit and Run doesn’t look like a message movie.

But then again, I didn’t really go to learn anything.

I like the story of how this little movie, written and directed by Dax Shephard — who also stars in the film with his girlfriend Kristen Bell and a lot of his friends — was made for a song and then got picked up by a major distributor and is now in theaters.

The little engine that could.

So while the plot isn’t my normal cup of tea, I went to see it to support indie film making…and actors that I enjoy watching.  And then this tiny sub-plot pops up half-way through the movie –

A message for dog owners, no less.

How you shouldn’t tie up your pets outside stores and restaurants where they could easily be stolen.  And the big difference the type of food you feed your dog makes, both in their health and happiness.

And who taught these lessons in the movie?

The “bad guy”…in a really funny way.  It’s worth the price of the film just to see this short segment.  I applaud Dax for finding a way to make those points in such an entertaining fashion.

Here’s hoping folks get the message.

Look both ways

I’m en route to New York City from Boston — Rory, I’ll be home soon — and we just passed the ubiquitous…

Deer crossing sign

Goodness knows they are a legitimate safety reminder.  Deer certainly seem to be attracted to roadways.

But it got me thinking (because I’m bored) –

Are there no other animals that cross the road?

Of course there is the ‘chicken who crossed the road’ joke…but what about other wildlife who might mosey across the highways and byways?  Don’t they deserve their own bright yellow sign?

Turns out they do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny — suddenly I’m a lot less bored.

Color wheel

Eric Stonestreet, aka Cam on Modern Family, tweeted just this morning:

Can’t take your road rage seriously, mr. yellow car driver man.

He left the details to our imagination — dangerous in and of itself — but he brings up an interesting point:

Do we assign character traits to drivers based on the color of their cars?

Studies show that red cars get more tickets, so apparently police officers believe these drivers are inherently up to no good.  They watch them closer, and the tickets follow.

But what of the other car colors?

Eric didn’t take the enraged driver seriously because his car was yellow. I have personally shook my head in wonder at bright orange vehicles — not that I don’t love the color in my salty snacks and diet soda and an occasional saucy top or two –

But to drive it down the street every day?  Even I have some dignity.

What car colors do you consider taboo?  Share in the comments section and perhaps save a reader from making an expensive mistake at the dealership.

This. Very. Day.

Trending topics

Dear Celebrity Reader (and I hope I have at least one):

If you ever find your name under ‘trending topics’ on Twitter, one of three things has occurred:

  1. You are the victim of a death hoax.
  2. You are dead.
  3. You were arrested for DUI.

If you are trending due to reason #1, congratulations!  You are popular enough to be hated by a significant portion of the population.  The rest of the Twitterverse will jump to your defense…or at the very least be reminded of your presence on this earth.

Either way, you’ll score a ratings bump.

If you are trending due to reason #2, you will also get a ratings bump.  “RIP” will start trending, too.  Sadly, you won’t be around to enjoy the good will…but your ancestors will enjoy the associated bump in sales.

If you are trending due to reason #3…

YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

This is one instance where celebrities are NOT ‘just like us.’ Regular people would hire a car if they could afford one, day in and day out.  But celebrities with their ginormous salaries and homes?

Nope.  They drive drunk and wasted and get DUI after DUI after DUI.
You know who you are.  And if you don’t…

Check Twitter.

Branded

You can tell some folk’s politics by the signs in their yard.  But the logo on their coffee cup?

Wake up.  It’s true.

A report by Buyology, Inc., a New York City firm that measures the unconscious
decision making that drives brand preference, links consumers’ politics to the brands they buy.

For example, Democrats are more likely to buy Starbucks coffee.  Republicans prefer Dunkin Donuts’ brew.

No beans about it.

Partisanship also rears its ugly head in folks’ choice of car, insurance, sport and gaming system.  Democrats prefer Jeep, Progressive, NFL and Wii; Republicans go for BMW, Allstate, Major League Baseball and XBOX.

But both parties agree on Coke, Google, VISA, Apple and Olay.

Wha?  The Democrats and Republicans agree on five whole things? This is either a sign of a huge turnaround…

Or the end of the world.

Park these cars

I was sad to hear that Tom and Ray were retiring after 25 years on Car Talk.

Then I felt incredibly lucky to know them.

I worked on the Car Talk website for two years.  On paper, the job was everything I loved rolled together.

The Internet.  Writing.  Humor.  Radio.

But Tom and Ray took the job to a whole other level.

Click and Clack are, in person, exactly who their listeners have heard on the air for over 25 years.  They are funny and cantankerous and smart and sweet and stubborn and incredibly generous.

They know who are, how they want to live their lives, what they do and more importantly do not want to do, and have managed to turn that into an amazing life for themselves and their families.

We should all be so lucky.

Enjoy being even lazier, guys.  No one deserves it more.