Tag Archives: cult

Apple of my eye

As Hollywood couples go, Kristen Bell and Dax Shephard are the coolest.

Both are really funny on-screen, and if you follow them on Twitter, you get a feeling they crack each up other at home as well.

‘Cause they don’t take themselves too seriously.  Appear to live fairly simply.  Love their daughter and their dogs.

Then they go and make this commercial —

They’re not in the Apple cult!

I love them so much right now.

Time for an intervention

While I was watching my zillionth hour of Olympic coverage this weekend — hey, don’t judge — one commercial in particular caught my eye.

It was shot from the athletes’ point of view as they trained in their different disciplines.  The voices changed, but they each spoke about what they had to give up to excel at their sport.

Dessert.  Sleep.  Extracurricular activities. TV.

(TV?  Yet another reason I would never make it…)

That’s when it hit me.  These aren’t athletes — they’re a cult!  Am I reacting too hastily?  Let’s take another look, just to be sure.

Uh oh.

Guys…guys, can you hear me?

I’m over here!  What are you looking at?!

Man…I think they’re too far gone.

Local color

I spent the day in Queens on a video shoot for CollegeHumor.com.

The script was funny — a parody that should be online sometime next week. The cast and crew were great to work with, the weather smiled on us, and we were released on time.

And did I mention the food was great?

What made this shoot especially memorable were the locals who stopped by during the day to see ‘what the heck we were doing.’ I realized very quickly that TV crews were an event in Astoria, whereas in Manhattan they are an everyday, ho hum occurrence.

It began with cars slowing down, their drivers inquiring about the tent that contained our holding area.  Then an older woman pushing her shopping cart down the street asked the production assistant why our ‘cult’ was demonstrating.

A cult?  In business suits?

But my favorite moment by far happened between takes.  A couple of guys and I from the cast were standing next to a front yard gate when a little white dog came over to check us out.  As Justin leaned over to say hello, the dog sweetly kissed his hand…and then peed on him.

Welcome to Queens.

Juiced

As someone who doesn’t own any Apple products — that’s right, people, nary a one — I am often fascinated by the passion that iPod, iPad and iPhone owners exhibit when speaking about their toys.

To an outsider, they look and sound like members of a bizarre religious cult.  The zeal in their eyes is unnerving and feverishly bright.  Their quick defense against any perceived insult towards the brand seems almost a rote recitation of hallowed Apple lore.

That must be some tasty Kool-Aid they’re servin’.

I was reminded of this phenomenon Wednesday during my flight to New Orleans.  A true Apple-tonian (Apple-ite?  Appler?) was seated behind me.  As he was putting away his phone for takeoff, the gentleman seated next to him asked if it was the new iPhone4.

Two and a half hours later — when the plane was landing — that apostle of all things Apple emerged from the zone and took a breath.

During that time, he had lovingly detailed every feature, every app, every dimple and dent of his beloved iPhone, the number of “likes” littering his speech increasing exponentially with his level of excitement.

I’ll admit, Apple makes amazing products and has even more effective marketing.  But even their biggest fan on the plane conceded that his iPhone was shit at making phone calls.  Didn’t work well at all.   But this too he turned into an iPositive.

“It’s the only way I can truly escape,” he said with a contented sigh.  “Having ‘no service’ is the perfect excuse.”

Somewhere, an Apple genius has a tear in his eye.