Tag Archives: David Letterman

Here come the players

After what has seemed like an endless hiatus, Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson is back tonight (or early in the morning) with new shows in their brand-spanking-new studio.  I’m really excited.

You know who’s not excited?

CBS.

Craig likes to joke that the CBS brass don’t know he’s on the air.  That he can get away with the nonsense that he does because they simply don’t have a clue that there is a show on after David Letterman. It’s funny schtick.

I’m starting to believe him.

Tonight’s new Late Late Show is going to be broadcast from his shiny new studio — a studio that was part of Craig’s two-year contract renewal.  One might assume this cost CBS a little bit of pocket change.  So you’d think they might want to promote the event.

A little.

But to date, I have seen nary a promo on TV.  Nothing in print.  Even CBS.com doesn’t mention it, not even on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson page.

Pitiful.

Come to think of it — I did get a tweet yesterday.

But I think it was from someone like me, anxious for the shows to begin.

Johnny on the spot

For someone who doesn’t stay up all that late, I spend a lot of time watching late night television — about three or more hours each day, thanks to my DVR.

I should really be thanking Johnny Carson.

After all, he created the late night genre as we know it. All the current late night hosts have cited Carson as a major influence.

None of them are Carson, but they all have little pieces of him in their repertoire.

Jimmy Fallon has his joy.  David Letterman his creativity.  Conan his self-doubt.  Craig Ferguson his dirty mind.  And Jay Leno?

Well, Jay Leno just has his time slot.

It’s hard to believe that it was 19 years ago today that Carson signed off after hosting the Tonight Show for 30 years:

And so it has come to this: I, uh — am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

I want to thank the gentlemen who’ve shared this stage with me for thirty years, Mr. Ed McMahon — Mr. Doc Severinsen — and — you people watching, I can only tell you that it has been an honor and a privilege to come into your homes all these years and entertain you — and I hope when I find something that I want to do, and I think you would like, and come back, that you’ll be as gracious in inviting me into your home as you have been.

I bid you a very heartfelt good night.

Reality check

Here’s the situation:

I watched The Late Show with David Letterman last night in my hotel room in Atlanta.  (Rory wasn’t there to tell me to go to bed.)  Snooki from The Jersey Shore was his first guest.

The fact that I have never watched a single, solitary moment of this reality program has always been a point of pride for me.  But every time I encounter one of the stars of the show on other programs — The Situation on Dancing with the Stars, and now Snooki on Late Show…

They seem like okay people.

Rumor has it, they don’t act very ‘okay’ on episodes of Jersey Shore.  The news — and police — reports certainly don’t support that hypothesis, either.  But when they are outside that reality show machine in other, more sane surroundings…

There appears to be a brain or two rattling around in their heads.

In fact, last night on Letterman, Snooki promoted her ‘Snooki Slippers,’ an oversized, plush houseshoe she is marketing under her name because — in her words — “Jersey Shore ain’t gonna last forever.”

I kinda wanna a pair.  They’re cute, and they make your feet look all huge and funny.  Plus, they come in lots of colors.  Heck, David even tried them on.

Look at me — hawking products for Snooki.  Now, that’s a sad reality.

Live on

“Regis is here!” — Regis Philbin (anytime he walks into a room)

We all knew the day was coming.  But Regis Philbin’s announcement yesterday that he plans to leave Live with Regis & Kelly at the end of the summer was still a shocker.

David Letterman — who has poked fun at the man more than anyone on television — called Regis while taping last night’s Late Show to lament his decision.

Personally I applaud Rege for leaving before he ‘needs’ to… for retiring while he still loves the job and while the audience — and the industry — still loves him.  Now executive producer Michael Gelman must find not just a new co-host, but the right co-host, to join Kelly at the Live desk.

I think we know how I feel about this.

Way back in November 2009, when Regis had heart surgery and was out for six weeks, I made my preference known.

And still today, I will accept — without too much whining — only one of the following to sit by her side:  Neil Patrick Harris or Anderson Cooper.

Anderson just signed a deal to host his own daytime talk show, so I would think that takes him out of the running. Which can only mean one thing….

If Gelman has a brain in that yoga-toned body of his, America will soon be waking up to the next great morning show:

Live with Kelly and Neil Patrick

(I think she’s earned top billing by now.)

It will be legen — I’m still waiting for it — dary.

Xmas in a box

The late night shows debuted their holiday decor this week.

You can tell a lot about a host by his tinsel.

Dave, Jimmy and Jimmy have gone the more traditional route — the scatter of lights, poinsettias, a tree or two.  Their sets look festive in the way you might expect.  Heck, they may be using last year’s decorations.

Who would notice?

You  will definitely remember Conan’s. His approach to trimming the set this year is more akin to projectile vomiting.  His stage makes Clark Griswold’s house look dark and neglected.  Dinosaurs.  Giant sandwiches.  A robot rabbi.

It’s gawdy and fabulous, but people with pacemakers best beware.

In sharp contrast, Craig Ferguson’s stage still suffers from bad lighting and leaks from the rain.  He seems filled with the Christmas spirit, but his budget extends only to a small, lighted desktop tree — that he plugged in with a flourish — and a Santa cap for Geoff Peterson, his robot skeleton sidekick.

Funny.  After watching both shows, I realized I preferred the simplicity of Craig’s display.  It has that authentic Charlie Brown quality, whereas Conan’s feels like the need to show off…to splatter his ego and budget all over the place to prove that he is back in the game.

Rudolph syndrome, no doubt.

Chill, CoCo.

Fun-gi

David Letterman had a mini-meltdown on “Late Show” recently.

The topic?  Food.

Specifically, there are too many shows on television about food, and too many networks devoted to food programming in a world where so many people go to bed hungry.

And poor Rachael Ray, sitting there in the guest chair…

So, David was the first person I thought of today when I read this article on the sex habits of the black truffle mushroom.

I could see his face — the initial disbelief that it was written at all;  the mounting disgust that people even cared; and then, the evil glee when he figured out how to make a Top Ten List out of the topic.

Black truffles, as you probably know, are the rarest of the truffles, and the most pricey at $100 an ounce.  Scientists just figured out they’re rare because they reproduce sexually, unlike the other fungi.

Now that they know, hopefully they can get them together, get more black truffles made, and bring the price down…which, if you like black truffles, is a good thing.

Or, if you’re David Letterman, will probably inspire another food-related rant.

Watch out, Rachael.

Comedy pays?

TBS sports the slogan “very funny.”

But I’m afraid, after they finish promoting the premiere of Conan’s O’Brien’s new show on November 8th, it might be “very Chapter 11.”

I’ve never really worried about a network before…but I worry about TBS.  They seem like such a small group of underdogs.  When they initially adopted the “very funny” slogan, it was more aspirational than point of fact.

And now, with “Conan” on their lineup, battling it out with David and Jay (albeit with a half-hour head start), they’re spending the big bucks to make sure this late night venture is a success.

Or, at the very least, lasts more than six months.

Conan’s got a blimp — have you seen it?  It’s big and orange and inflated like his head.  Since I follow Team CoCo on Facebook, I get what seems like hourly tweets updating me on the blimp’s location…and the sucker’s all over the place.

Conan’s doing lots of promos on TV, of course, and I even saw an ad at the movie theater where he washes his desk a la wet t-shirt contest.  It’s all creative and funny and original and makes me look forward to the show even more.

I just hope there are millions of other people just like me.  For Conan’s sake.

And TBS.

King of cameo

Move over, Jon Stewart.  Stephen Colbert, this is the word:

Brian Williams, anchor of “NBC Nightly News.”

We know he’s funny.  He was the first news anchor invited to host “Saturday Night Live” …and he killed it.  Now he’s popping up everywhere, adding his dry wit all over the television lineup.

In case your DVR isn’t quite as active as mine — hey, TV viewing makes you more well-rounded — here are some choice scenes from recent weeks you may have missed.

  • On last night’s “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,” Brian ‘slow jammed’ the news headlines with Jimmy and the Roots.  See how Brian counters a shot at his manhood from Jimmy.
  • Last Thursday, Brian popped up again on Jimmy Fallon, this time to pay homage to guest Jon Hamm.  (Apparently, Brian is a big “Mad Man” fan.)  The entire episode is online; Jon pops up — complete with Brian cameo — at the 19:00 mark.
  • Brian even crossed the aisle and visited “Late Show with David Letterman” last month, where David tortured him about doing Jay Leno.  Be sure and watch the entire clip — the ending is classic.

I’ve even spied him doing shtick on the plaza on “Today.”  A cameo from Brian is a hit every time.

Brian, if it were up to me, you would be the host for tonight’s season premiere of “Saturday Night Live”…but since the show went another way, I’ll just have to keep my fingers crossed that you’ll ‘pop up’ later this year.

Easy money

I’m going to be rich.

David Letterman gave me the idea last night on his show.

Joaquin Phoenix returned to the program to apologize for the whacked out behavior he exhibited on his last appearance on “Late Show with David Letterman” in 2009.

Back then, Phoenix showed up in a bushy beard, sunglasses and a near-catatonic state.  Dave initially tried to make conversation, but then just hurled zingers at Phoenix’s expense.

My favorite?  “Sorry you couldn’t be here tonight, Joaquin.”  Classic.

Dave didn’t know at the time that it was all an act for the documentary Phoenix and Casey Affleck were shooting, I’m Still Here, which is in theaters now.

Apparently five minutes of the TV interview with Dave is included in the documentary…without the “Late Show’s” permission.  Letterman brought up the slight last night…and asked for a cool $1 million dollars in payment.

If possible, Phoenix looked even more uncomfortable than last time.

So, now my retirement plans are set.  Find a movie, TV or documentary set.  Get on tape without permission.  Sue the production.  Retire to Bermuda.

It just might work.

Together wherever

David Letterman began his monologue last night this joke:

You know it’s springtime in Manhattan…when the carjackers break in through your sunroof.

Funny, sure.  But cracks like that are one of the reasons people can’t imagine living in New York City…especially if they have kids.

Now, I don’t have kids.  But I do have a dog that I walk in Central Park pretty much every morning.  And on weekdays, I see moms and dads with their kids, walking or riding scooters or bikes.

Mom and Dad are dressed for work.  The kids are decked out for school.  And they are together in this beautiful park, talking and spending time before work and school begins.

It seems like a pretty nice way to start the day.

Out in the country where I grew up, kids either took the bus or walked to school.  There was no need for our parents to go with us; we lived in the middle of nowhere.  Nothing much happened, including crime.

I know the kids in Manhattan are walked, scooted and/or rode to school by their parents because it’s not considered safe to be out on their own.  But I think the time spent together as a family is a pretty nice trade.

Plus, they get to live in the greatest city in the world.