So, I’m standing in Hudson News at DFW this afternoon, pretending to select a magazine (but really in a bit of a post-meeting fog), when the lights in the airport newsstand suddenly appeared to dim.
It wasn’t an emergency situation, or even a passing storm. No, the tallest airline pilot I have ever seen in my life stood next to me and temporarily blotted out the light!
I kid you not — this guy must have been seven feet tall! I spent the rest of my time at the racks watching him stare at magazines and wondered…
How the heck does he fit in that teeny tiny cockpit??
Granted, in the post-9/11 era, none of us are doing cockpit tours a la “Airplane!” But from the quickest of peeks that I’ve taken when boarding, their ride looks even more cramped than mine back in coach.
So, I did what I always do when I have a question — I turn to Google. According to airlinepilotforums.com, all jets have adjustable rudder pedals and seats. So, presumably, even the Goliath pilot that was purchasing woodworking mags earlier today has legroom during his flight.
So, now I know. And now you know.
And when I get on my flight today, I’m going to ask the flight attendant where my adjustable rudder pedals are!
Dead heading
We’ve all sat next to a ‘live one’ on an airplane.
You know, that passenger who just won’t stop talking — who’s super psyched about life. Perhaps it’s their first time flying…or they’re on vacation (instead of business like you). And they simply won’t be quiet.
At that very moment — wouldn’t you trade them for a corpse?
He was alive when he boarded, but began to have convulsions and passed away soon after take-off. There were no other seats available, so the poor woman was stuck with her now silent seat partner until the plane landed.
I know it sounds creepy. And all my sympathies go out to the deceased man’s family and friends. But ya gotta admit — there are advantages to sitting next to a dead man.
He’s made your flight extra special.
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Posted in Airplanes, Comedy, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel
Tagged airplane passenger, airplanes, arm rest, comedy, commentary, dead body, deceased man, entertainment, flight attendant, Humor, life, live one, no talking, Sweden, sympathies, Tanzania, Television, Travel, vacation