Tag Archives: Late Show with David Letterman

Morning mystery

My morning walk in Central Park was something out of a Mary Higgins Clark novel.

Rory and I were taking ‘the long way’ in the direction of the Great Lawn.  That’s when I noticed the two black SUVs with blacked-out windows on the walking path.

An unusual sight, but we kept going.

When we rounded the corner at the Delacorte Theater — home of Shakespeare in the Park — I saw at least 15 police cars, lights flashing, and a helicopter parked on the Great Lawn.  Officers were clustered around the banks of the pond behind the outdoor amphitheater.

I felt like I had been plunged into an episode of Castle.  Nathan Fillion was in town earlier this week to tape Late Show with David Letterman…but sadly, he wasn’t about.

The officers who were there weren’t giving up any information.  A park security officer said they thought someone had drowned, but she was found alive.  But a woman walking in the park a bit earlier in the morning said she saw them remove something from the lake.

News crews were on site, but I couldn’t score any info on their websites.  So, the mystery continues.

Not bad for a morning walk, huh?

Laughing live

I was in the audience for last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

Now, I’ve been lucky enough to see a lot of shows live here in New York City. Live with Regis and Kelly, Millionaire, Late Show with David Letterman, Conan (back in the day), Silent Library. Heck, I’ve already been to Anderson Cooper’s new daytime talk show.

I’m kinda spoiled.

But Jimmy Fallon has played hardball with me. You see, I had tickets to Late Night in March but had to cancel last minute due to work commitments.  When I called to let them know — and I did call — they thanked me profusely…and then placed me on a ‘no reservations list’ for two months.

Thanks, Jimmy.  Thanks, Mr. Nice Guy.

But last night’s Late Night was easily the most fun I have ever had as part of a live audience.  Jonah Hill killed in his interview.  I have never been so surprised or laughed so hard.  Plus, Jimmy featured Hashtags — who doesn’t love Hashtags? — and a new episode of the “Jersey Floor.”  I even liked the musical guest Elbow.  (Look them up; they’re really good.)

So, I forgive you, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, for your archaic cancelation policy.

You funnied the fume right out of me.

Johnny on the spot

For someone who doesn’t stay up all that late, I spend a lot of time watching late night television — about three or more hours each day, thanks to my DVR.

I should really be thanking Johnny Carson.

After all, he created the late night genre as we know it. All the current late night hosts have cited Carson as a major influence.

None of them are Carson, but they all have little pieces of him in their repertoire.

Jimmy Fallon has his joy.  David Letterman his creativity.  Conan his self-doubt.  Craig Ferguson his dirty mind.  And Jay Leno?

Well, Jay Leno just has his time slot.

It’s hard to believe that it was 19 years ago today that Carson signed off after hosting the Tonight Show for 30 years:

And so it has come to this: I, uh — am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

I want to thank the gentlemen who’ve shared this stage with me for thirty years, Mr. Ed McMahon — Mr. Doc Severinsen — and — you people watching, I can only tell you that it has been an honor and a privilege to come into your homes all these years and entertain you — and I hope when I find something that I want to do, and I think you would like, and come back, that you’ll be as gracious in inviting me into your home as you have been.

I bid you a very heartfelt good night.

Live on

“Regis is here!” — Regis Philbin (anytime he walks into a room)

We all knew the day was coming.  But Regis Philbin’s announcement yesterday that he plans to leave Live with Regis & Kelly at the end of the summer was still a shocker.

David Letterman — who has poked fun at the man more than anyone on television — called Regis while taping last night’s Late Show to lament his decision.

Personally I applaud Rege for leaving before he ‘needs’ to… for retiring while he still loves the job and while the audience — and the industry — still loves him.  Now executive producer Michael Gelman must find not just a new co-host, but the right co-host, to join Kelly at the Live desk.

I think we know how I feel about this.

Way back in November 2009, when Regis had heart surgery and was out for six weeks, I made my preference known.

And still today, I will accept — without too much whining — only one of the following to sit by her side:  Neil Patrick Harris or Anderson Cooper.

Anderson just signed a deal to host his own daytime talk show, so I would think that takes him out of the running. Which can only mean one thing….

If Gelman has a brain in that yoga-toned body of his, America will soon be waking up to the next great morning show:

Live with Kelly and Neil Patrick

(I think she’s earned top billing by now.)

It will be legen — I’m still waiting for it — dary.

Fun-gi

David Letterman had a mini-meltdown on “Late Show” recently.

The topic?  Food.

Specifically, there are too many shows on television about food, and too many networks devoted to food programming in a world where so many people go to bed hungry.

And poor Rachael Ray, sitting there in the guest chair…

So, David was the first person I thought of today when I read this article on the sex habits of the black truffle mushroom.

I could see his face — the initial disbelief that it was written at all;  the mounting disgust that people even cared; and then, the evil glee when he figured out how to make a Top Ten List out of the topic.

Black truffles, as you probably know, are the rarest of the truffles, and the most pricey at $100 an ounce.  Scientists just figured out they’re rare because they reproduce sexually, unlike the other fungi.

Now that they know, hopefully they can get them together, get more black truffles made, and bring the price down…which, if you like black truffles, is a good thing.

Or, if you’re David Letterman, will probably inspire another food-related rant.

Watch out, Rachael.

King of cameo

Move over, Jon Stewart.  Stephen Colbert, this is the word:

Brian Williams, anchor of “NBC Nightly News.”

We know he’s funny.  He was the first news anchor invited to host “Saturday Night Live” …and he killed it.  Now he’s popping up everywhere, adding his dry wit all over the television lineup.

In case your DVR isn’t quite as active as mine — hey, TV viewing makes you more well-rounded — here are some choice scenes from recent weeks you may have missed.

  • On last night’s “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,” Brian ‘slow jammed’ the news headlines with Jimmy and the Roots.  See how Brian counters a shot at his manhood from Jimmy.
  • Last Thursday, Brian popped up again on Jimmy Fallon, this time to pay homage to guest Jon Hamm.  (Apparently, Brian is a big “Mad Man” fan.)  The entire episode is online; Jon pops up — complete with Brian cameo — at the 19:00 mark.
  • Brian even crossed the aisle and visited “Late Show with David Letterman” last month, where David tortured him about doing Jay Leno.  Be sure and watch the entire clip — the ending is classic.

I’ve even spied him doing shtick on the plaza on “Today.”  A cameo from Brian is a hit every time.

Brian, if it were up to me, you would be the host for tonight’s season premiere of “Saturday Night Live”…but since the show went another way, I’ll just have to keep my fingers crossed that you’ll ‘pop up’ later this year.

Easy money

I’m going to be rich.

David Letterman gave me the idea last night on his show.

Joaquin Phoenix returned to the program to apologize for the whacked out behavior he exhibited on his last appearance on “Late Show with David Letterman” in 2009.

Back then, Phoenix showed up in a bushy beard, sunglasses and a near-catatonic state.  Dave initially tried to make conversation, but then just hurled zingers at Phoenix’s expense.

My favorite?  “Sorry you couldn’t be here tonight, Joaquin.”  Classic.

Dave didn’t know at the time that it was all an act for the documentary Phoenix and Casey Affleck were shooting, I’m Still Here, which is in theaters now.

Apparently five minutes of the TV interview with Dave is included in the documentary…without the “Late Show’s” permission.  Letterman brought up the slight last night…and asked for a cool $1 million dollars in payment.

If possible, Phoenix looked even more uncomfortable than last time.

So, now my retirement plans are set.  Find a movie, TV or documentary set.  Get on tape without permission.  Sue the production.  Retire to Bermuda.

It just might work.

Together wherever

David Letterman began his monologue last night this joke:

You know it’s springtime in Manhattan…when the carjackers break in through your sunroof.

Funny, sure.  But cracks like that are one of the reasons people can’t imagine living in New York City…especially if they have kids.

Now, I don’t have kids.  But I do have a dog that I walk in Central Park pretty much every morning.  And on weekdays, I see moms and dads with their kids, walking or riding scooters or bikes.

Mom and Dad are dressed for work.  The kids are decked out for school.  And they are together in this beautiful park, talking and spending time before work and school begins.

It seems like a pretty nice way to start the day.

Out in the country where I grew up, kids either took the bus or walked to school.  There was no need for our parents to go with us; we lived in the middle of nowhere.  Nothing much happened, including crime.

I know the kids in Manhattan are walked, scooted and/or rode to school by their parents because it’s not considered safe to be out on their own.  But I think the time spent together as a family is a pretty nice trade.

Plus, they get to live in the greatest city in the world.

Blue dog

I miss my dog.

I’ve been traveling for business since Saturday, and there’s a hole in my life when Rory’s not with me.  He’s at home with my dogsitter Dru, probably having a good ol’ time, but his mamma is missing him.

And while we’ve been apart, I feel like there have been dogs everywhere I go, and stories about dogs all over the Internet and on the news.

Coincidence?  I think not.

When I was walking through the French Quarter yesterday to grab lunch, I saw a couple walking their dog — some kind of pit bull mix — who they had dressed up for the New Orleans Saints game.  The dog had on a sweater with a Saints flag suspended from it, and he was prancing along like he knew he looked good.

It made me miss my dog (although I would never put a flag on him unless he asked for one).

Then last night, when I was watching ‘Late Show with David Letterman’ — something I rarely do at home because Rory and I read before bed — David told the story of how he and his son Harry had found a stray chihuahua over the weekend and decided to adopt it.  Now, David is a dog lover, but I don’t think chihuahuas are a favorite breed.  Of course, after he begrudgingly told the story, they showed a photo of Harry with the dog — they looked awfully cute together.

It made me miss my dog more.  He’s really cute, too.

Heck, I even read on the Internet that the Fido Awards — the doggie equivalent of the Oscars — are going to be announced in London at the end of November.  Nominees include the animated canine stars of “Up” and “Bolt,” the real dog star of “Marley & Me,” and one non-dog entry — the fox voiced by George Clooney in the animated “Fantastic Mr. Fox.”

Now I really miss my dog…and wish I had gotten him into acting.  (He could have beaten any of those pooches.)

Good thing I’m headed home today.  Even I think I’m starting to sound weird.