“Give me a place to stand, and I will move the Earth.”
Archimedes, considered by many to be the greatest mathematician of all time, said that.
Clearly he never loitered in New York City.
On two separate occasions yesterday afternoon, while shopping around my neighborhood in the Upper West Side, I became a person of interest…
….simply because I stood in one place too long.
The first incident occurred in Barnes & Noble. I was talking on my cell phone and moved to a deserted corner so I wouldn’t disturb anyone with my conversation. After a while, I noticed B&N security standing to one side, pointedly looking at me. The guard continued to stare until I moved to another section of the store.
I’m so gangsta.
Since they didn’t have the magazine I was looking for anyway, I continued walking down the street. When the wind picked up, I stepped into a deep window alcove to shield the phone’s mouthpiece. The window shutters were closed, so I didn’t pay attention to the folks inside.
Until I realized they had noticed me.
There was a kitchen on the other side. The cooks gave me curious looks through the narrow space between the slats. Eventually one moved closer to the window, stirring the batter in his bowl, squinting in curiosity.
That’s when I decided to move it along….and realized another wonderful advantage of having a home.
Sure, it provides shelter from the elements and a place to sleep. But it’s the one place you can sit on your butt or stand in place without moving — no explanation required.
So, that’s why we pay the big rents in NYC.
Gift guide
To all travelers, business or pleasure:
I got a peek behind the curtain yesterday during my flight to Dallas. Discovered something that can turn a cold, distant flight attendant into a friendly and engaged conversationalist.
Cookies
Two pilots were deadheading on my flight from New York City, and they were in the row in front of me. After we achieved a ‘comfortable cruising altitude,’ the flight attendants started coming. One by one. Big smiles on their faces. Gratitude on their lips.
All because one of the pilots brought the crew cookies when he boarded the plane.
With the rest of the passengers, the flight attendants were polite, but we didn’t get those genuine grins. Or the frequent check-ins to see if we needed anything else.
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve received a less effusive version of this treatment when I’ve given a flight attendant a magazine when I’m finished with it. But yesterday I learned an important nuance:
Do it at the start of the flight.
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Posted in Airplanes, Business, Commentary, Food, Foods, Humor, Life, Travel
Tagged airplane seat, airplanes, Business, comfortable cruising altitude, commentary, cookies, Dallas, deadheading, flight attendants, flight crew, food, Foods, Humor, life, magazine, New York City, pilots, Travel