Tag Archives: Simon Cowell

Deja who?

Posted on May 26, 2011 | Leave a comment

I did it.  I missed the whole thing.

I did not watch a single moment of this season’s American Idol.

I’ll admit it — I walked away when Simon Cowell did.  I didn’t see a need for the show to continue.  And when I heard who they hired to replace him, I didn’t feel any differently.

Now, friends have told me I screwed up.  That this was the most talented group of contestants yet.  That it was refreshing to watch a show where the judges strived to create a supportive environment. (But some have said it was all a bit too nicey-nice as well.)

But I was still a little curious this morning about who won.  So I took a look.

Good lord — it’s Clay Aiken.

I didn’t miss a thing after all.

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Posted in Celebrities, Comedy, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Music, Television, TV

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Cover your mouth

Posted on January 11, 2011 | 2 Comments

When I saw the official photo released of the new “American Idol” judges, I felt a little sick to my stomach.

Perhaps I miss Simon?  Dread the start of the new season?  Or could it be a natural reaction to all the creases and crevices in Steven Tyler’s face — you know, that feeling you get after stepping off a bumpy roller coaster ride?

Turns out — it’s probably just the singing.

Researchers at Singapore’s National University Hospital found that singing spreads cold and flu germs more effectively than coughing or sneezing.  A trained voice in particular produces a stronger, more penetrating plume of infection into the air.

Well, do-re-mi.

The researchers were conducting the study to determine how far to recommend spacing beds in hospitals that treat airborne illnesses.

Perhaps the results will bring a quick end to this season of “American Idol,” too.

One can only hope.

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Posted in Celebrities, Commentary, Entertainment, Health, Humor, Life, Music, News, Singing, Television, TV

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Jump ship

Posted on July 30, 2010 | Leave a comment

Dear Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler:

Run.  Run as fast as you can.

The producers of “American Idol” are on a sinking ship, and they want you to pull them ashore.

The problem is, they will pull you under with them….just like they did Kara.  They tried to do the same to Ellen, but she has her own boat and is able to avoid the undertow.

Love all my water metaphors?  That’s what you use when a show has — wait for it — JUMPED THE SHARK!

Why can’t the producers just admit that AI has reached its natural end?  Simon Cowell could see it.  Audiences can see it coming, too; that’s why the numbers have been declining over time.

Don’t judge the program by the number of yahoos who show up for the auditions.  There will always be people who want to be discovered.

The producers should create a new program that will generate some excitement and spend their time and energy on that…instead of trying to revive “American Idol” with musical stars that are nearing or past their prime.

(No offense intended.)

Continue with your fabulous careers.  Goodness knows you don’t need AI.

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El fin

Posted on May 26, 2010 | Leave a comment

The past week has seen its share of good-byes.

Fans of “Lost” and “24″ bid tearful farewells to their beloved series.  Even “10 Things I Hate about You” got a bit of love when it exited the scene after only one season…from whomever watched it.

And there’s always a void after the season finales air — that hole in your schedule that used to be filled.

Monday nights, for example.   Now that “Dancing with the Stars” has crowned Nicole and Derek the mirror ball champions, and “Castle” has wrapped for the season, my evening is wide open.  I don’t even have any DVR to catch up on the next day now that “How I Met Your Mother” and “Big Bang Theory” have concluded their runs.

Sigh.

And tonight, “American Idol” announces its winner, and at the same time, sends Simon Cowell off into the great beyond.

But, let’s get real.  Simon leaving IS the end of “American Idol.”  It’s time for the producers to admit it…the fans to accept it…and really, for everyone to be happy the ride is over.

This last season was pretty lame.  If you watched the finals last night, they were more a whimper than a blaze of glory.  Lee and Crystal are both talented, but how would they have fared in last year’s final?  Would you have considered them differently in a group with an Adam Lambert or a David Cook?

I think so.

The contestants this year are a reflection, I believe, of Simon’s lack of commitment to the process.  He stepped out months ago, and let Kara and the rest of the judges drive the process.

When he steps out for good, look out.  “American Idol” becomes “American Mediocrity.”

Enjoy.

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Posted in Humor, Music, Television

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Idol no more

Posted on January 13, 2010 | Leave a comment

I greeted the first “American Idol” of the season with mixed feelings — excited the show was back, but annoyed that I had to sit through the grueling audition episodes before the real studio competition begins.

(I could skip them, sure, but I’d miss all the back story stuff that shapes the entire season…so I motor through. Best strategy: DVR, then fast forward.)

And as I sat there, watching the first show LIVE, I could understand why Simon Cowell decided to leave AI after this season.

With Paula Abdul gone, Kara DioGuardi has become a stronger, more strident voice on the panel and I’m already tired of her. Randy is his usual mix of useless cliches, and guest judges are filling in until Ellen Degeneres appears in the Hollywood shows. I think it will be hard for her to break out of the nice gal personality she has established, so I don’t expect much substance in her feedback.

So now, more than ever, Simon is the only judge on the panel who has industry experience and credibility and entertains, all at the same time.  If I were him, I wouldn’t want that burden either.  At least when Paula was around, with her combination of industry experience and bizarre craziness, he had someone to banter with.  I doubt he and Ellen are going to go head-to-head…and if they do, she’ll want a dance-off.

Not. Gonna. Happen.

So, even though I think your leaving spells the end of “American Idol,” Simon, I wish you well.  Perhaps it’s time for this monster to be felled.

And if anyone can do it, it’s you.

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Posted in Humor, Television

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