Exhibit A: 2013 Sock Monkey Calendar
Purchased December 30, 2012. Brand new. Twelve month-themed sock monkey images contained within imaginative and in excellent condition.
Fun year ahead — check.
Exhibit B: Rory with Sock Monkey
Given to Rory on Christmas Eve 2012. Brand new. Ball on Santa hat chewed off within moments of gifting.
Hat destroyed — check.
Relationship with sock monkey secured — double check.
Posted in Animals, Christmas, Dogs, Family, Holiday, Humor, Life, Relationships, Toys
Tagged 2013, animals, checking it twice, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Dogs, family, gifting, holidays, Humor, life, Relationships, santa, Santa hat, sock monkey, sock monkey calendar, toys
I finally put up my Christmas decorations today.
Just made it under the wire.
I’m not usually this tardy. But a slew of business travel in December left me only two days to prep the apartment for the holidays.
My Christmas decor is much like my day-to-day — contemporary, with graphic patterns and solid colors. But there are a couple of pieces from my childhood that still make the cut.
One is a vintage tabletop sleigh complete with Santa, elf, reindeer and — best of all — a sack of toys with real toys inside. They are teeny tiny things, probably saved from Cracker Jack prizes (back when they were actually cool) and party favors.
We always loved knowing that there was real loot in that tiny bag. But we weren’t surprised…
Santa — even the tabletop variety — always comes through.
Posted in Children, Christmas, Design, Holiday, Humor, Life
Tagged business travel, children, Christmas, Christmas decorations, contemporary decor, Cracker Jack prizes, elf, holidays, loot, make the cut, party favors, reindeer, Santa's sack, Santa's sleigh, tabletop, toys, vintage
I saw Snuffles twin at Rockefeller Center today.
Well, perhaps ancestor is the better word.
That’s Snuffles on the left — on the right, the brand spanking new version from Gund. I saw a little girl carrying him in a shopping bag near the ice rink. She had ‘adopted’ him from the Central Park Zoo.
What a difference two decades can make.
The newer version is obviously fluffier and puffier and whiter, his ears a bit perkier, his eyes shiny and direct. But his mouth is stitched down flat, whereas my Snuffles smile is a moveable thread…so he can smile, frown, smirk, pout — whatever he’s feeling that day.
I mean, look at that face — so expressive.
But I’m sure after ten years or so, that new Gund bear will start showing some personality, too.
Posted in Animals, Children, Humor, Life, Relationships, Toys
Tagged bear, Central Park Zoo, children, face facts, Gund, ice rink, Rockefeller Center, Snuffles, stuffed animal, toys
Is this a simple cardboard box….
…or a Hall of Famer?
It’s both.
The cardboard box earned a spot in the Toy Hall of Fame in 2005 — a recognition of the ‘gateway to the imagination’ it provides to children everywhere.
Who can argue with that?
But I have to feel sorry for the toys — real toys, that is — that didn’t made the cut, and have to face the fact that a paper box beat them out. And if that isn’t enough salt in the wound…
Cardboard was invented in China.
So I’ve been thinking a lot about the number 8.
It’s taken on a near mystical quality this week — for an obvious reason — for Kentucky Wildcat fans.
But as digits go, it was already pretty cool.
Turn it on its side, and you’ve got an infinity symbol. It’s the figure in figure skating. And a few figure eight turns of a rope and you’ll got yourself a decent cinch.
But this week, it’s a magic number for me. And I want to share that feeling with the world.
So, here you go.
The Magic Eight Ball
Go ahead — ask it anything.
You can thank me later.
Posted in Basketball, Commentary, Design, Games, Humor, Life, Sports, Toys
Tagged cinch, commentary, digits, eightfold, figure skating, games, Humor, infinity, Kentucky Wildcats, life, magic eight ball, mystical quality, numbers, rope figure eights, Sports, the number eight, toys
There’s Team Edward and Team Jacob. But in the doll making game…
It’s Team William all the way.
Mattel has released a Barbie and Ken version of William and Kate to commemorate their upcoming one-year wedding anniversary.
As you can see, they have given William a full head of hair — something he doesn’t possess in real life — and strengthened his jawline. And although Kate looks a bit like every Barbie I’ve seen, she’s pretty and her gown is spot-on.
No doll marker would risk offending the royal family.
That clearly wasn’t a concern for the Mattel designer selected to create the dolls that recreate the wedding of Bella and Edward in Twilight Breaking Dawn.
I’m guessing he isn’t a fan of the saga. And Edward in particular.
His doll’s face is flat and fat, and his hair looks like an old lady’s wig. I know the white makeup isn’t flatteringly on anyone in the movies, but it eliminates all detail here.
In the words of my friend Tina…
Barf.
Posted in Children, Comedy, Commentary, Design, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Movies, News, Shopping, Toys
Tagged Barbie and Ken, Barbie bolls, Bella Swan, children, comedy, commentary, design, doll designer, Edward Cullen, England, entertainment, Humor, life, Mattel, Movies, news, Prince William, Princess Catherine, Robert Pattinson, royal family, royal wedding, shopping, Team Edward, Team Jacob, toys, Twilight, Twilight Breaking Dawn, wedding anniversary, white makeup
Barbie…a hoarder???
That’s no dream kitchen, sister…
It’s a nightmare.
It kept Carrie M. Becker up at night. So the St. Louis native, photographer and sculptor created “Barbie Trashes Her Dreamhouse,” a photographic exhibition at the Riney Museum of Fine Art at Friends University in Wichita, Kansas.
I love the idea of Barbie as a hoarder.
The girl is so perfect in every other way; you just know she has to act out somehow. What better way than trashing that powder puff pink nightmare of a townhouse?
Which begs the question…
What is Ken’s secret?
Posted in Art, Humor, Life, Shopping, Toys
Tagged art, Barbie, Barbie dolls, Barbie dreamhouse, Barbie Trashes Her Dreamhouse, Carrie M Becker, commentary, Friends University, hoarders, Humor, Ken dolls, life, nightmare, photographic exhibition, photography, Riney Museum of Fine Art, sculpture, shopping, St. Louis, toys, Wichita Kansas.
I’ve heard of baby dolls that go potty…
…but dolls with potty mouths?
Some customers are demanding Toys R Us pull the “You & Me Interactive Play & Giggle Triplet Dolls” from their shelves because one of the dolls says “you crazy bitch.”
Triplet’s got ‘tude.
The dolls are sold exclusively at Toys R Us and are intended for children 2 years and up. The store says the complaints have been scattered and they will stand behind the product.
Personally? I think the doll did it. And I think parents are crazy not to want to keep it around.
Your kids start cursing? You would never talk that way in front of them. Must be that darn baby doll the children wanted so badly.
Not your fault. Nope, you’re good parents.
Posted in Children, Commentary, Family, Humor, Life, News, Shopping, Toys
Tagged attitude, babies, baby dolls, baby dolls that go potty, Business, children, commentary, family, Humor, life, news, parents, potty mouth, shopping, Toy R Us, toys, triplets, You & Me Interactive Play & Giggle Triplet Dolls, you crazy bitch
What the flarp?
No, seriously — do you know what ‘flarp’ is?
I encountered this word yesterday for the very first time in an article online. Thanks to the all-knowing, all-seeing Google, I soon learned that flarp is a liquid-like goo that makes a fart noise when you stick your hand in it.
Brilliant.
Flarp no doubt has a lot of admirers amongst the pre-teen set. But what makes flarp rise above the farts it attempts to mimic is it smells good. In fact, it comes in no less than six fruity aromas — orange, lemon, banana, strawberry, pineapple and grape.
You can see how that would beat the real thing every time.
Obviously, flarp entered the scene long after my childhood had passed. When I was a kid, we were all about Silly Putty. Silly Putty didn’t make any noise to speak of, and it came in only one color/smell combo — putty grey.
You could copy newspaper print and comics with Silly Putty. Remember newspapers? That stuff we used to read before the Internet?
You’re using your flarp right now to make fun of me…aren’t you?
Pfffttt!
Posted in Children, Commentary, Entertainment, Games, Home, Life, Toys
Tagged banana, childhood, children, commentary, entertainment, fart making goo, farts, flarp, fruit, fruit flavors, games, goo, Google, grape, Humor, lemon, life, newspaper print, newspapers, orange, pineapple, pre-teens, putty, putty grey, silly putty, strawberry, toys
Tall tail
There’s a new bunny in town, and he’s got a story to tell.
Wonder what it will be?
I met this grey fuzzy rabbit this afternoon at my friend Steph’s store, Stoopher & Boots. He had just hopped out of his shipping carton when we said our how-do-you-do’s.
I took one look — and, total disclosure, copped a feel, too — and realized he was a wise, old soul. His whiskers droop downward in understanding. His belly boasts a gentle paunch. His eyes without spectacles look out with intensity and caring.
He has none of the devil-may-care attitude of Snuffles, the bear who has lived with me for almost 25 years. Even now, there’s a twinkle of mischief in his black shell eyes.
But, no matter. Right now there that bunny awaits his BFF and is at the ready, poised for their first chapter together.
Could that somebunny be you?
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Posted in Animals, Children, Commentary, Entertainment, Family, Life, Writing
Tagged bunnies, children, Humor, rabbits, Stoopher & Boots, stuffed animals, toys, writing