The Fourth of July was the official start of summer, and for some peeps, that means summer school.
Regis and Kelly are both going this week — for ratings, not grades — and are studying some really cool subjects: pizza-making, gymnastics, acting, bicycling, even how to be a ball boy at the U.S. Open tennis tournament. (Heck, if they had offered stuff like that in summer school when I was a kid, I would have wanted to go.)
Which begs the question: what kind of fun courses could I take this summer…if I wanted to go?
“The Art of Walking” — Once I tell you this is offered at a college in Kentucky, you’ll be less surprised.
“Maple Syrup: The Real Thing” — This Alfred University class teaches students how to make maple syrup. (No prior experience is required)
“The Phallus” — Occidental College in Los Angeles offers this one. Hope I get an A.
“Learning from YouTube” — Once I tell you this is offered at a college in California, you’ll be less surprised.
But seriously, here are a few that I would take:
“The Science of Harry Potter” — At Frostburg University in Maryland, you can see the science behind the movie magic. (Insert spell here)
“Star Trek and Philosophy” – In this Georgetown University class, you watch Star Trek, read philosophy and talk about it. I’m guessing William Shatner will sit this one out.
“Twilight: The Texts and the Fandom” — Brand new at Cambridge University, this course examines the saga’s impact on popular culture, even allowing people outside the class to participate online.
Hmmm. Wonder which one I’ll take first…?
For hire
Dear Robert Pattinson:
Please hire me as your publicist.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Being no doubt a faithful reader of The Sticky Egg — and why wouldn’t you? I’ve mentioned you a whopping 12 times during the blog’s two-year existence — you might deem my motives less than honorable.
True, my mind does go a bit blank when I see photos of you. And I will cop to letting a scream or two fly at midnight premieres of the Twilight films.
(All the other kids were doing it.)
No, this plea to join your entourage is motivated by a sincere wish to improve your public speaking skills. It is purely professional. Any personal enjoyment I might glean during the coaching process is simply collateral damage.
Your ideas are fun; they just need a little more work. Reece showed that when she stepped on stage and made them better.
Let Chelsea Handler’s shocked reaction be your guide…and let me be your coach.
I promise to keep our interaction age appropriate.
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Posted in Celebrities, Comedy, Commentary, Entertainment, Humor, Movies, Television, TV
Tagged blog, Business, celebrities, Chelsea Handler, collateral damage, comedy, commentary, entertainment, Humor, Movies, MTV Movie Awards, polish, presentation skills, public speaking, publicist, Reece Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, speaker coaching, Television, The Sticky Egg, tribute, TV, Twilight saga