File this under “TV shows I should be starring in based on scripts I should have written inspired by books I should have penned…”
“Sellevision,” a half-hour sitcom based on the book by Augusten Burroughs (of Running with Scissors fame) is in the works at NBC.
(That’s right — NBC! They’re working on a scripted comedy for a change. Good network. Good boy.)
First of all, I’m not sure how this book got written without me. It’s about home shopping, a concept that I discovered in its infancy in the mid-8o’s. I was one of the early predictors of its success back when the show hosts were ridiculous, the products laughable, and the sets trailer park chic.
I still remember the first day I saw CVN (now QVC) on television. I was stuck at home with the flu, running a 103 degree temperature, and this woman was trying to sell these jacuzzi jets that you put into your bathtub to make it bubble. (I thought my fever was causing hallucinations.)
But I could still see the potential through the haze of my humidifier. With the right products — I mean, now QVC is partnering with major brands — and solid marketing and salesmanship, home shopping is now a multi-billion dollar industry. Heck, QVC’s website alone drives millions of dollars in sales each year. They are practically printing money in West Chester, Pennsylvania.
But alas, I didn’t write a book.
Augusten Burroughs did. He wrote “Sellevision” while he was getting sober. He didn’t let sickness stop him. He said it was the first thing to make him laugh in a long time. Now he has a novel and a sitcom deal, and he’s laughing all the way to the bank.
Me? I have my health….and a membership in good standing with QVC.