No, they weren’t fixed. They were quite broken.
That’s why the ceremony lasted until past midnight ET, had not even one surprise winner and was a big ol’ fat yawn.
The only surprise of the evening was the appearance of Neil Patrick Harris in the opening number. Martin Short was scheduled to do the honors, but had to pull out just days before the show due to ‘personal reasons.’ So, Harris was the unannounced fill-in. My hopes soared.
And then were slowly suffocated by the standard awards show jokes and parade of predicted winners.
So I propose the following fixes for the next decade of Academy Award broadcasts.
- Go back to five Best Picture nominees. You upped it to 10, and there were still less than five legitimate contenders for the award. You simply made the show longer, not more competitive.
- Hire new writers for the broadcast. We have all these great sitcoms doing really creative television. Can’t we find a new way to be funny in a televised awards show other than to put the nominees in the audience on the spot? I hate that. They hate that. And nine times out of 10, it’s just not that funny.
- Skip the long tributes to the nominated actors/actresses. Some of them were quite good. Most of them sucked. Show a longer clip of the nominated role instead. You might actually get people to go to the movies.
- Hire permanent hosts. Have Neil Patrick Harris and Hugh Jackman alternate years. Guaranteed charm, talent, good looks and triple threats. I’m happy.
- Guarantee interesting shows. If all predicted winners win after the votes have been tabulated, randomize a minimum of five categories for the shock value alone. The audience will stay tuned if they know that might be coming.
Now that sounds like an award winner.