Quiet, please

I got a lot of writing done yesterday. Part of the credit goes to the awesome background noise —

The PGA Championship

The sound of golf ranks second only to tennis as my preferred home office ambiance. But even then, the relaxing tones of the golf announcers’ voices and polite applause was broken by…

GET IN THE HOLE!

YEAH PLAYA!

YABBA DABBA DOOO!

MASHED POTATOES!

SKITTLES!

Mashed potatoes and Skittles — really?  That doesn’t even make sense (not that the other ones do much either).  They yell so loud and at the exact moment the club makes contact with the ball, I’m surprised more players aren’t affected.

If it were up to me, the course marshals would monitor the crowds and yank these offenders from the tournament.  I don’t mean to censor free speech, but —

No food allowed on the golf course…ya know?