Tag Archives: Amanda Seyfried

Shirt off your back

The rich pay fewer taxes, and celebrities get free clothes — just some of life’s many injustices.

But you would think — if you were one of those lucky celebs — you’d wear free clothing that was a) good-looking and b) looked good on you.

Case in point:  Express has been giving away the same blue-and-red striped dress to a lot of young actresses in Hollywood.  Take a look-see:

Now, with the exception of January Jones (who is many months pregnant right now), these are some of the skinniest women on the planet..and yet the broad, horizontal stripes make them appear short and wide and thick, which I doubt was the goal.

(Imagine what this dress would look like on someone of average size, height and weight.  No, I take that back…don’t.)

I know it’s free, ladies, but that doesn’t mean you have to wear it.  Your jobs all pay pretty well.  Although you may have forgotten how, you can pay for your own clothing…just like the rich can pay more taxes.

(Well, it’s fun to think about anyway…isn’t it?)

Eye full

To make it in Hollywood, a girl used to have to know how to act or know someone.

Today?

She needs GINORMOUS eyes, too.

It’s true.  The latest crop of actresses have the largest eyeballs I have ever seen.  We’re talking eyes so huge, they are practically on either side of their head.

Like fish.  Freaky, pretty fish.

Are more girls being born with these bulbous baby blues?  Or are casting directors merely drawn to how actresses with prodigious peepers look on television and film?

Goodness knows Disney is guilty of perpetuating this trend.  Every princess from
“Beauty and the Beast” to “Little Mermaid” has been drawn with impossibly enormous eyes.  In their latest movie “Tangled,” Rapunzel has green eyes so gigantic, the two combined are bigger across than her waist.

(But I really loved that film…so I’m gonna give it a pass.)

So, let’s consider some human examples.  Anne Hathaway in Devil Wears Prada and Love and Other Drugs. Amanda Seyfried in Dear John and Letters to Juliet. All of the actresses on ABC Family’s “Pretty Little Liars.”  Mila Kunis, who goes toe-to-toe with Natalie Portman in the ever-so-creepy — and I mean that as a huge compliment — Black Swan.

All new Hollywood.  All wearing those mega-watt eyes.

In fact, when I tried to think of a successful actress with even slightly squinty eyes, I had to go back a few years to Renee Zellweger, who was so charming with Ewan McGregor in Down with Love and won an Oscar for Cold Mountain. And she’s really just squinty in comparison…not squinty in that Clint Eastwood/Dirty Harry “Make my day” kinda way.

See what I mean?

So, if you have your sights set on the bright lights, make sure your eyes are a sight to behold.

(Meaning they are big…really big.)

Gaga eyes

Did you see the ‘big-eye’ contacts that Lady Gaga wore in her “Bad Romance” video?

I didn’t….which is no real shock.  If a song hasn’t appeared in a movie or Broadway musical, I don’t know it.

My sister Lou told me about this one….and let’s face it — it’s an effect worthy of a movie, like most of Lady Gaga’s artifice.  That big-eyed, Disney character look?  As soon as I saw the contacts, I wanted a pair.  So it’s no surprise that younger fans are out there, trying to find them in the stores.

You know who really benefits from this trend?  People like Amanda Seyfried, the young actress and star of “Dear John,” “Letters to Juliet,” and “Big Love.”

She was born with anime eyes.  They are practically on either side of her head…and HUGE.  She has the Lady Gaga look built-in.  No contacts required.

Some people have all the luck.