Tag Archives: American Idol

The day the music died

american-idol-judges-feb-26-2014-ftrAmerican Idol is being canceled?

I feel such strong emotions  — or I’m trying to, anyway — so I must breakout into song, like any decent musical would:

(My apologies to “American Pie.”)

Denial, denial,
American Idol

You are leaving
I am grieving
in a ugly rage spiral

Sure, I’ve spent my nights
watching your network rival, singing —

I’ll tune back in for the big final.
I’ll tune back in for the big final.

So long, AI.  (Harry, you were my fav.)

Deja who?

I did it.  I missed the whole thing.

I did not watch a single moment of this season’s American Idol.

I’ll admit it — I walked away when Simon Cowell did.  I didn’t see a need for the show to continue.  And when I heard who they hired to replace him, I didn’t feel any differently.

Now, friends have told me I screwed up.  That this was the most talented group of contestants yet.  That it was refreshing to watch a show where the judges strived to create a supportive environment. (But some have said it was all a bit too nicey-nice as well.)

But I was still a little curious this morning about who won.  So I took a look.

Good lord — it’s Clay Aiken.

I didn’t miss a thing after all.

Cover your mouth

When I saw the official photo released of the new “American Idol” judges, I felt a little sick to my stomach.

Perhaps I miss Simon?  Dread the start of the new season?  Or could it be a natural reaction to all the creases and crevices in Steven Tyler’s face — you know, that feeling you get after stepping off a bumpy roller coaster ride?

Turns out — it’s probably just the singing.

Researchers at Singapore’s National University Hospital found that singing spreads cold and flu germs more effectively than coughing or sneezing.  A trained voice in particular produces a stronger, more penetrating plume of infection into the air.

Well, do-re-mi.

The researchers were conducting the study to determine how far to recommend spacing beds in hospitals that treat airborne illnesses.

Perhaps the results will bring a quick end to this season of “American Idol,” too.

One can only hope.

Deja news

The year end lists are coming out — best of, worst of, most, least.  I think I’ve read them all (and sadly, appear on none).

AOL has posted their “Most Searched” list for 2010.  l like this one a lot.  Being ‘most searched’ doesn’t place any judgments of good or bad — it just says that a whole lot of people wanted to gawk at photos of you and read about you online.

Awesomeness.

And here’s their list:

10.   Bed Intruder Antoine Dodson:  I missed this one
9.   Foursquare: I missed what’s fun about this one
8.  Jeggings:  Are they jeans?  Are they leggings?  They’re jeggings!
7.  Old Spice Guy:  I’m pretty sure folks just wanted to look at him
6.  Paul the Octopus:  May he rest in peace
5.  Silly Bandz:   Are they silly? Are they bandz?  They’re Silly Bandz!
4.  Vuvuzelas:  Shhhhhhhh
3.  Pants on the Ground:  The ultimate revenge of the old auditioner
2.  Chat-roulette: No gun, but just as deadly

And the number 1 search on AOL….

1.  Betty White:  There’s nothing left to be said

And there it is — 2010 in searches.  The funny thing is…it looks kinda familiar, doesn’t it?

I mean, jeggings are just the new leg warmers, right?  And we had that other hot Old Spice Guy (Matthew Perry’s father) back in the day.  The Taco Bell dog was hot a few years ago — may he rest in peace — and those braided friendship bracelets were just low-tech Silly Bandz.

Vuvuzelas are simply much larger, louder kazoos, and the ‘Pants on the Ground’ guy is just the ‘She-Bang’ dude way older (and a way better singer).

And Betty White?

Oh, she’s still Betty White.  This is just the second time that she’s trending.

Late to the party

NBC.  I’ve decided it stands for ‘Never Be Cutting-Edge.’

How else can you explain the network’s decision to launch an “American Idol”-esque program next spring…just as AI is wheezing its final breath?

The producers and major players can see the writing on the wall.  The viewers are leaving, too.  So now NBC decides to enter the singing competition business?

At least they’re consistent.

Sure, their new iteration has a twist. The judges don’t face the contestants, so in theory their decision will be based solely on the quality of the vocals.  (The idea is based on a program called “The Voice of Holland” already in production.)

Forgive me if I think they will get around that stipulation.

More importantly, I think audiences are ready for something different.  When AI dies — which I think will happen after next season if not this one — people will be ready for the next great competition…and this ain’t it.

Who knows?  By then, maybe reality TV will even be going out of style altogether.

We can always dream.

Jump ship

Dear Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler:

Run.  Run as fast as you can.

The producers of “American Idol” are on a sinking ship, and they want you to pull them ashore.

The problem is, they will pull you under with them….just like they did Kara.  They tried to do the same to Ellen, but she has her own boat and is able to avoid the undertow.

Love all my water metaphors?  That’s what you use when a show has — wait for it — JUMPED THE SHARK!

Why can’t the producers just admit that AI has reached its natural end?  Simon Cowell could see it.  Audiences can see it coming, too; that’s why the numbers have been declining over time.

Don’t judge the program by the number of yahoos who show up for the auditions.  There will always be people who want to be discovered.

The producers should create a new program that will generate some excitement and spend their time and energy on that…instead of trying to revive “American Idol” with musical stars that are nearing or past their prime.

(No offense intended.)

Continue with your fabulous careers.  Goodness knows you don’t need AI.

Full up

I’ve started seeing a lot of promos lately for the new seasons of “The Next Food Network Star” and “Top Chef.”  In fact, the first episode of “Food Network Star” aired last night.

(I know this because my DVR taped it while I was at the movies.)

All these would-be TV chefs vying for their own shows on Food Network and Bravo just look….blah to me.  Which made me realize — it’s finally happened.

I have had my fill of reality food television.

I mean, I still watch certain shows on Food Network…and goodness knows Rory watches the channel all the time when I’m not at home.  But the food chef competitions themselves may be on the way down, at least with me.

And really, have they produced any personalities with longevity besides Guy Fieri?  Can you even name any other “Food Network Star” winner from past seasons?  I certainly can’t.  They may still be around, but they are infinitely forgettable.  Same thing for “Top Chef.”

“Food Network Star” knows it, too.  They brought in a contestant ‘mentor’ this year in Giada De Laurentiis.  I guess they are hoping she will distract you from the beginning of the end.

So, enjoy this season.  It maybe the last course.

El fin

The past week has seen its share of good-byes.

Fans of “Lost” and “24” bid tearful farewells to their beloved series.  Even “10 Things I Hate about You” got a bit of love when it exited the scene after only one season…from whomever watched it.

And there’s always a void after the season finales air — that hole in your schedule that used to be filled.

Monday nights, for example.   Now that “Dancing with the Stars” has crowned Nicole and Derek the mirror ball champions, and “Castle” has wrapped for the season, my evening is wide open.  I don’t even have any DVR to catch up on the next day now that “How I Met Your Mother” and “Big Bang Theory” have concluded their runs.

Sigh.

And tonight, “American Idol” announces its winner, and at the same time, sends Simon Cowell off into the great beyond.

But, let’s get real.  Simon leaving IS the end of “American Idol.”  It’s time for the producers to admit it…the fans to accept it…and really, for everyone to be happy the ride is over.

This last season was pretty lame.  If you watched the finals last night, they were more a whimper than a blaze of glory.  Lee and Crystal are both talented, but how would they have fared in last year’s final?  Would you have considered them differently in a group with an Adam Lambert or a David Cook?

I think so.

The contestants this year are a reflection, I believe, of Simon’s lack of commitment to the process.  He stepped out months ago, and let Kara and the rest of the judges drive the process.

When he steps out for good, look out.  “American Idol” becomes “American Mediocrity.”

Enjoy.

Kaboom

Tonight, “Dancing with the Stars” crowns its Season 10 champion.

Having loaded the field with an Olympic figure skater and a professional dancer, the ending seemed almost a foregone conclusion.  But after a season of high ratings and critical acclaim, the producers and judges suddenly got an enormous attack of conscience…and at last night’s finals, attempted to balance the scales.

Erin Andrews, the ESPN reporter, is the only true non-dancer left in the competition.  She has steadily improved over the season and deserves to be in the final three.  But in the two dances she performed last night with partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy, the judges were overly effusive in their praise and votes.  The pair ended up tied for first place for the first time this season.

Nicole and Derek and Evan and Anna, in contrast, were more harshly judged for both of their dances.  Evan and Anna were especially criticized for their free dance (following a package that showed the two fighting and crying — nice setup).

But as we’ve seen on the lesser “American Idol,” audiences don’t like it when they see their favorites treated unfairly by cranky judges.  My guess is Evan and Anna may actually benefit from their last-place finish with a ground swell of viewer support.

Who knows?  Nicole’s predestined win may have just experienced a slight hiccup.

Can you say backfire?

Battle of the sexes

“American Idol” is down to the final three, and ladies, you’ve done it again!

You’ve proven that you are the true power behind the AI vote.  Just take a look….

  • Crystal Bowersox Gap-toothed, dread-locked ‘Mama Sox’  has been the favorite pretty much from day one.  Her talent transcends her sex, and the fact she’s a mother earns her extra votes as well.
  • Casey James The good-looking, guitar-playing eye candy was my pick at first glance, simply because he was cute…and I think America has kept him in the competition for the same reason.  He wasn’t bad enough to eliminate, and he was awfully fun to look at.  He won’t win it all; in fact, I don’t think he’ll be in the final two.  Voters are pretty fair at the end.  And they can look at him during the AI tour.
  • Lee DeWyze This diamond-in-the-rough (and the best singer in the competition in my opinion) has improved steadily over the weeks.  Lee’s issue is confidence; as it has grown, so has his command of the stage.

And in the finale — which will be Crystal vs. Lee — America, fueled by the ever-powerful female vote, will crown Lee DeWyze their next “American Idol.”

You heard it here first.