I spent most of last week on ‘planes, trains and automobiles.’ Unlike Steve Martin and John Candy in the iconic film of the same name, I suffered only minor delays in my journeys, but was constantly annoyed by one group of travelers —
Backpackers clog the aisles of both airplanes and trains and, for reasons unbeknownst to me, appear to have no idea of the additional girth their over-the-shoulder luggage adds to their body. They careen down the center aisle, bumping people on either side (and behind when they need to back up).
Apparently the backpack cushions their body from all collisions too, because they never seem to notice or feel the need to apologize.
So, if any backpackers are reading this, take note the next time you travel. You leave behind a wake of bruised body parts and bad attitudes…
And they all have your name on ’em.
Posted in Airplanes, Business, Cars, Celebrities, Humor, trains, Travel
Tagged airplane aisle, airplanes, airport, automobiles, backpack, backpackers, bad attitude, bruises, Business, cars, film, girth, Humor, John Candy, journey, knapsack, luggage, Movies, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Steve Martin, train aisle, trains, Travel, travel delays, travelers
I depend on my cellphone.
Most people do these days.
It’s never more apparent than when you misplace it or break it for even a single day.
It’s like losing a limb.
And I am ever so grateful to have my cellphone in hand when I’m walking down the sidewalk and see a couple of petition people lying in wait.
I’m sure the two young ladies had something important to discuss with me — they always do, right? — but I just wanted to be on my way. And my cellphone allowed me to do just that.
As soon as the petition people were in view, I put the cellphone to my ear and begin having a fascinating conversation.
With no one.
The petition people don’t bother folks on the phone.
Give it a try yourself sometime.
Posted in Humor, Life, Technology, Walking
Tagged automobiles, cellphone, conversation, Humor, life, losing a limb, petition, sidewalk, technology, telephone, walking
Television news anchors will be reciting Morton Salt‘s famed slogan “When it rains, it pours” ad nauseam tonight after a wall collapsed at a plant outside Chicago, spilling salt all over cars in an Acura dealership next door.
Within minutes, two separate delivery trucks carrying lemons and bottles of tequila crashed into that very same lot.
No one was injured, but many people were reportedly smashed.
Posted in Advertising, Automobiles, Comedy, Entertainment, Foods, Humor, Life, News, Shopping, Travel
Tagged Acura, advertising, advertising slogan, automobiles, car dealership, Chicago, comedy, delivery truck, entertainment, factory, Humor, injuries, lemon, life, Morton Salt, news, news anchor, salt, shopping, smashed, tequila, Travel, TV news, when it rains it pours
File this under News of the Weird:
As I was walking Rory toward the park, I saw a car stalled in one of the lanes on Central Park West. A taxi cab was behind it, and a police car after that. As we approached, the police officers were opening the car doors.
Everyone in the car was fast asleep. The driver was slumped over the wheel. The passenger in the back was laid out flat.
The officer poked them both with his nightstick. It took awhile to wake them up, but eventually they both roused.
A million scenarios from TV and movies went through my mind. Did someone hijack their car and knock them out? Were they overcome by fumes? Were they victims of alien abduction? But it’s probably like a friend of mine said…
They just passed out drunk at the light.
Posted in Automobiles, Cars, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel
Tagged alien abduction, automobiles, cab, cars, Central Park, Central Park West, Dogs, drunk, fumes, hijack, Humor, life, New York City, news of the weird, nightstick, park, police car, sleeping driver, sleeping passenger, stalled car, taxi, traffic, traffic stop, transportation
While we were all busy preparing for this weekend’s exciting Final Four college basketball tourney, Mazda issued a recall on the 2010-2012 model Mazda 6 sedans…
Because of spiders in the gas tank.
I know this sounds like a headline from The Onion, but it’s actually the second time Mazda has recalled the 6 sedan because spiders “may weave a web in the evaporative canister vent line.” Apparently a spider web could create pressure and even a potential crack in the fuel tank.
Wait a minute — is this really a recall? Or reverse movie product placement?
(You gotta admit, it would be ‘amazing.’)
Posted in Animals, Automobiles, Entertainment, Humor, Movies, Shopping
Tagged animals, automobiles, college basketball, entertainment, Final Four, fuel tank, gas tank, headline, Humor, Mazda, Mazda 6 sedan, Movies, NCAA tournament, product placement, recall, shopping, spider bite, spider web, spiders, The Amazing Spiderman, The Onion
I sold my car when I moved to Boston in 2000, and I would never want a car here in Manhattan.
But perhaps the right car could change my mind —
Only in New York City…
Posted in Automobiles, Cars, Design, Humor, Life, transportation
Tagged automobiles, Boston, cars, design, Humor, life, Manhattan, New York City, paint job
I’m no gamer, but even I’ve heard of Grand Theft Auto.
Candy Crush Saga, it’s not.
It’s criminals or criminal-wannabes in the big city, trying to rise through the ranks in organized crime. Underworld kingpins give you different missions to complete, and violence ensues.
It wouldn’t be my cup of tea, and I’m sure a lot of parents wouldn’t want their kids playing it either.
But Grand Theft Auto V has another problem — it allows players to ‘run over, behead and kill animals’ as part of the game.
Jack Carone of In Defense of Animals, an animal rights organization, is calling for a boycott of GTA because of this senseless inclusion of animal violence.
If you agree that there should be a GTA boycott — as I do — vote “YES” in the poll at the end of the TMZ article.
Speak up for those without a voice!
Posted in Animals, Automobiles, Children, Games, Internet, Life, News, Technology
Tagged animal violence, animals, automobiles, Candy Crush Saga, children, criminals, gamer, games, Grand Theft Auto, Grand Theft Auto V, GTA, GTA boycott, IDA, In Defense of Animals, Internet, Jack Carone, kingpin, life, news, organized crime, technology, TMZ, underworld, violence
Look at the nifty decal my airport taxi was sporting tonight:
While I appreciate the sentiment, based on my experience with cyclists in the city, they need the safe driving reminder.
The suckers will hit anything that moves.
And yes, I am generalizing…based on a wealth of first-hand experience.
Posted in Automobiles, Cars, Commentary, Humor, Life, transportation, Travel
Tagged airport, automobiles, bicycles, cars, cyclists, decals, Humor, life, New York City, safe driving, taxis, transportation, Travel, wheelie
I hailed a cab to take me to downtown last night — nothing unusual about that. But as soon as we pulled away from the curb, there was a flash of lights and sirens behind us.
From another cab.
An undercover taxi cab police car.
I didn’t even know they existed! But my taxi driver said the police have undercover taxis, town cars — you name it — all waiting to take down unsuspecting lawbreakers.
Which filled my head with this scene:
A New York City bus pulls up to a stop. But it’s not a real bus — it’s an undercover police bus! Filled with SWAT team members. All armed and dangerous. Who run out of the bus and into the streets.
That’s all I got so far. But I like it.
To be continued…
Posted in Automobiles, Cars, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Movies, Television, transportation, Writing
Tagged automobiles, bus, bus stop, cabs, cars, city bus, entertainment, lawbreakers, lights, movie, New York City, police bus, police story, siren, SWAT, taxi cabs, taxis, Television, towncars, transportation, undercover police, writing