Tag Archives: automobiles

Time for a knap

I spent most of last week on ‘planes, trains and automobiles.’ Unlike Steve Martin and John Candy in the iconic film of the same name, I suffered only minor delays in my journeys, but was constantly annoyed by one group of travelers —

Backpackers

backpack in airport

Backpackers clog the aisles of both airplanes and trains and, for reasons unbeknownst to me, appear to have no idea of the additional girth their over-the-shoulder luggage adds to their body. They careen down the center aisle, bumping people on either side (and behind when they need to back up).

Apparently the backpack cushions their body from all collisions too, because they never seem to notice or feel the need to apologize.

So, if any backpackers are reading this, take note the next time you travel. You leave behind a wake of bruised body parts and bad attitudes…

And they all have your name on ’em.

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Telephone tip

samsung galaxy s5I depend on my cellphone.

Most people do these days.

It’s never more apparent than when you misplace it or break it for even a single day.

It’s like losing a limb.

And I am ever so grateful to have my cellphone in hand when I’m walking down the sidewalk and see a couple of petition people lying in wait.

Like today.

I’m sure the two young ladies had something important to discuss with me — they always do, right? — but I just wanted to be on my way.  And my cellphone allowed me to do just that.

As soon as the petition people were in view, I put the cellphone to my ear and begin having a fascinating conversation.

With no one.

The petition people don’t bother folks on the phone.

Give it a try yourself sometime.

When it rains…

morton salt

Television news anchors will be reciting Morton Salt‘s famed slogan “When it rains, it pours” ad nauseam tonight after a wall collapsed at a plant outside Chicago, spilling salt all over cars in an Acura dealership next door.

More surprising?

Within minutes, two separate delivery trucks carrying lemons and bottles of tequila crashed into that very same lot.

No one was injured, but many people were reportedly smashed.

 

 

Laying it on thick

This commercial just aired during the Dancing with the Stars results show:

So…is Matthew trying to sell Lincolns, or creep us out?

I feel like I need to take a shower.

Be right back.

Traffic stop

File this under News of the Weird:

stop wait goAs I was walking Rory toward the park, I saw a car stalled in one of the lanes on Central Park West. A taxi cab was behind it, and a police car after that. As we approached, the police officers were opening the car doors.

Everyone in the car was fast asleep. The driver was slumped over the wheel. The passenger in the back was laid out flat.

The officer poked them both with his nightstick. It took awhile to wake them up, but eventually they both roused.

A million scenarios from TV and movies went through my mind. Did someone hijack their car and knock them out? Were they overcome by fumes? Were they victims of alien abduction? But it’s probably like a friend of mine said…

They just passed out drunk at the light.

Fancy.

Spider bite

While we were all busy preparing for this weekend’s exciting Final Four college basketball tourney, Mazda issued a recall on the 2010-2012 model Mazda 6 sedans…

Because of spiders in the gas tank.

I know this sounds like a headline from The Onion, but it’s actually the second time Mazda has recalled the 6 sedan because spiders “may weave a web in the evaporative canister vent line.” Apparently a spider web could create pressure and even a potential crack in the fuel tank.

Wait a minute — is this really a recall?  Or reverse movie product placement?

mazda tank
(You gotta admit, it would be ‘amazing.’)

Here’s a paint job for ya!

I sold my car when I moved to Boston in 2000, and I would never want a car here in Manhattan.

But perhaps the right car could change my mind —

whack car

Only in New York City…