Bearding is a competitive sport.
I did not know this.
I didn’t even know bearding was a word, let alone a concept — the growing of facial hair by, um, athletes.
You see, I watched a movie on IFC yesterday, and it was inundated with promos for Whisker Wars, a reality show slated for a seven-episode run on IFC in August and September.
Whisker Wars follows Beard Team USA, a ‘devoted group of whisker warriors’ as they compete for top bearding honors at events across the country. Their journey culminates at the World Championship Competition in Trondhjem, Norway.
Apparently Germany is the longtime favorite in hair growing — I’m so proud of my kin — but this year, Beard Team USA stands a follicle of a chance.
I am obviously entertained by this whole idea. I mean, there are even beard categories: Moustache, Partial Beard, Full Beard Groomed, Freestyle and what is considered the most prestigious, Full Beard Natural. Gosh, I’m so excited my hairs are standing on end!
But seriously, guys — I think you have finally come up with the one competition that women will never ask for their own division.
Even the ones who can compete.