Tag Archives: cable

Sure he could

I was clicking through the cable channels this Sunday morning and happened upon one of my favorite Jim Carrey movies, Bruce Almighty, at the exact moment that Bruce — enjoying his God-like powers by this point — tells his dog to use the toilet instead of going outside.

bruce almighty dogThe image at left may have been doctored a bit, but if you’ve seen the film, the dog walks up to the tank, steps on the seat, does his business, flushes and even puts down the lid in deference to the ‘lady of the house.’

Now that I have an older dog in the house with more, shall we say, unpredictable pee pee patterns, I totally wish I had bought a little kiddie toilet and hired a dog trainer to teach him how to use it.

It would so rock.

He already reads the newspaper, of course.

Read my lips

Jimmy Fallon’s epic “Lip Sync Battle” has left its home at The Tonight Show and now occupies prime time Thursdays on Spike TV.

lip sync batle

The earlier time slot means the segment gets 30 whole minutes, costumes, backup ‘singers’ and dancers and racier trash talk (since it’s on cable). And the celebs are lovin’ every minute. The only thing that suffers?

The actual lip sync.

The celebs have a lot more bells and whistles to contend with, and limited rehearsal time, I would guess. So everything is messier…but who cares?

They’re making fools of themselves to music — just like on Dancing with the Stars — and it is magical.

Cuts like a knife

Remember when television shows used to suggest violence instead of shoving it in our faces?

A shadowy suggestion or quick camera cut would leave the evil deads to our imagination.

I still prefer it.

image

Some of my favorite cable programs have been stabbing their victims repeatedly of late…and showing the murders up close in graphic detail, the horrible sound of knife piercing flesh as disturbing as the imagery.

I am still bothered by the bar scene in the season finale of The Divide, and the scary clown in American Horror Story: Freak Show isn’t the only character to brandish a knife.

Avoiding gore is one thing.  Forgetting it is almost impossible.

Schooled

kidnapped for christIf you subscribe to Showtime, I encourage you to watch the documentary Kidnapped for Christ, currently available OnDemand.

The film centers on a Christian boarding school in the Dominican Republic that advertised itself as a rehab center for troubled US teens.  The filmmaker, an evangelical school student, was allowed complete access to the teens there and, during production, uncovers disturbing information about the school’s “behavior modification program.” She also learns that some students had been kidnapped from their homes with their parents’ full knowledge and permission.

Her commitment to the project eventually morphs into a determination to help these abused teenagers — one in particular who wants to leave the school where he is essentially being held prisoner.

This story is heartbreaking and, I learned, just one case among thousands around the world.

It is a must-see.

 

Ain’t gonna take no static

I live in New York City and am a Time Warner Cable customer.

That means, when I return from Atlanta Saturday and try to watch the episode of Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson that I am DVRing tonight, I may be greeted instead with….

static

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If the goobers from CBS and TWC can’t come to an agreement by midnight tonight, that is.

You guys had better get your sh#t together…’cause if I miss my Craigy Ferg —

Heads are gonna roll!

Thank you for your attention.

Checking the gate

I happened upon a documentary the other morning on Sundance Channel that I highly recommend.  I should be less surprised that it is about a church.

(It was Sunday, after all.)

An Audience of One follows Richard Gazowsky, a Pentecostal pastor from San Francisco who used donations from his congregation to found a movie studio and production company.  He said he received a vision while praying on a mountaintop to spread the Gospel through filmmaking.

Stone tablets are so B.C.

The documentary begins as Gazowsky and his followers are in pre-production on their full-length feature, Gravity: The Shadow of Joseph, described as a ‘biblical science fiction.’

The movie poster tagline reads “filmmaking is hard.”  Gazowsky would no doubt agree.  During principal photography, the novice director only manages to get two scenes in the can during their five days on location in Italy.

Cameras jam. Cranes freeze. Cords snap. Tempers flare.  Of course, you see that kind of ‘tech diff’ on film sets all the time.

What makes Audience of One a must-see is watching Gazowsky lead his congregation on this journey.  Despite the setbacks, the lack of funds, and — let’s face it — the project’s absolute and total failure, the preacher constantly spins the story in such a way, his followers never blink.

Even though the movie is never been made.  Even though their major investor never comes through.  Even though the city shuts them down.

They call it faith.  But on camera, under the harsh glare of the lights, the delusions are harder to disguise.