Tag Archives: comedian

I hear voices

It’s hard to believe it’s been over three years since I first saw The Trip starring Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon.

the-trip-movie-posterI saw it in the theater then. Today was a chance encounter on HBO.

And I watched it again.

I still laughed at the two comedians’ competitive conversations and celebrity impressions.  But this time I found myself trying out a few of the characterizations — with very limited success.

Why can’t I do impressions better?  And why are they so darn good?

Obviously they have invested far more than 90 minutes towards this endeavor, but I wonder if I would be able to achieve any success with a lifetime of practice.

Do the Brits just have an edge?

I say yes.  (This stance saves me a lot of time and effort.)

Food percussion

Since BuzzFeed had so much fun today combining foods into truly creative takes on your morning toast, I didn’t think they’d mind if I added yet another ingredient:

Mr. Toast himself, Heywood Banks!

toast

If you’re not familiar with Heywood, check out this classic Egg. Then visit his website and sing for your daily bread.

YAY TOAST!!

With this ring

My nephew is getting married next week, which may explain why this item caught my eye.

Wedding rings that really leave a mark.

Colin Hart and his comedian wife Anna Ryan came up with the idea for the “I’m Married” rings last year for their own engagement.  Now they’re selling on Cheeky.com — and they’re starting to get a lot of orders.

To get the best mark, you have to order the ring a size too small.  The indentation only lasts about 15 minutes after you take the ring off, but Hart figures that’s long enough to dissuade that budding bar conversation.

Evil genius, that one.

And what an evil gift this would make for the nephew — nah, the dirty looks from my family would last way longer.

Double eagle

Chalk one up in the ‘life imitating art department’…

Ray Romano, comedian and star of Everybody Loves Raymond and the recently canceled Men of a Certain Age, made the cut at this weekend’s AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am.  Ray tees off in the fourth and final round today with his professional partner, Australian golfer Steven Bowditch.

Go get ’em, Ray!

Fans of Men of a Certain Age will remember that Ray’s character Joe, party shop owner, gambling addict and avid golfer, had just qualified for the senior tour when the series was unceremoniously dumped by TNT.

We never got to see Joe fulfill his dream on the links, but today Ray is living out his own.

Karma is a wonderful thing.

Bread is buttered

I was singing when I made breakfast this morning.

It’s not that I was in an exceptionally chipper mood.  Instead, two recent events brought a song forward from the inner recesses of my brain.

  1. The cupboards were bare, and toast was my only option.
  2. My friend Joan mentioned on Facebook that she saw a very funny comedian at a recent stand-up show in Lexington, KY.

If you’ve ever seen Heywood Banks, then you already know the song that I was serenading Rory with after our morning walk —

Yeah, Toast!

If you haven’t heard or seen Heywood Banks, well, ya need to.  And a lazy Sunday morning is the perfect time to tool around his website and check out  “Yeah, Toast!” and some of his other classic comedy songs, including “Eighteen Wheels on a Big Rig” and “The Cat Got Dead.”

I even discovered a brand new gem when I was clicking around this morning called “Taser Her Again” based on a true story.  It’s no wonder the man has won songwriting awards.

And with his Uncle Sam coif, he deserves a few style awards, too.

When the first cave man drove in from the dregs
Didn’t know what would go with the bacon and the eggs
Must’ve been a genius got it in his head
Plug the toaster in the wall buy a bag of bread make toast….

Yeah, toast!

Tip your mama dog

A comedian once quipped that if aliens landed on Earth, they would quickly assume dogs were in charge since their humans were following them, picking up their poop in plastic bags.

It’s funny because it’s true.

I’m just glad aliens weren’t around to see me giving Rory a bath today…and not just because I was naked. (It makes cleanup easier, believe me.)

Rory knows the word “bath,” and is very agreeable about getting into the tub. He stands there quietly while I wash him — the whole process is easy peasy.

It’s the blow dry that makes me laugh.

Here again, Rory is game to have his haired dried. I give him a rawhide bone to keep him occupied, and he pretty much ignores me while I dry and fluff and brush. I’m like a stylist at a salon whose client won’t chat with her. The only time Rory even looks back at me is when I start trying to dry his ears or feet, which irritates him.

At that point, he loses interest and walks away…as if to say, “Enough, peasant.”

Yep. I know who’s in charge.

The hook

Comedy requires an innate sense of timing.

So you’d think — by now — Jay Leno — former comedian, current leper — would know that he has seriously missed his cue.  Needs to go.  Couldn’t be less welcome if he had let chili farts in one of the tiny, egg-shaped elevators at the St. Louis Arch.  (Sorry — a couple of personal scars crept into that last illusion.)

NBC asked you to leave, Jay.  And, I’ll admit, they pussied out at the end.  Took one look at that huge, tremblin’ jaw of yours, and just couldn’t do it.  So you stayed, and your new show failed so horrendously in primetime, it pretty much took down the whole network with it.  The affiliate stations, too.  I hear peacocks are endangered now. Live with that.

And tonight, Conan and his staff and his fans become your lastest victims.  To make room for you yet again.  Because apparently, at NBC, there is nothing they like better than a big, fat failure.

You’re a perfect match.

I can only hope that the same audience that found your tired, lame comedy lacking in primetime will reject your recycled “Tonight Show” when you return to late night.  And, more importantly, they will say no to your lack of integrity, your lack of fair play, and your serious lack of timing.

There’s nothing funny about what you did.  There’s nothing funny about what you do.

Go home, Jay.