Tag Archives: comedians

The new get

I was never much of an autograph hound.  But now?

I collect direct tweets from celebrities.

I follow quite a few on Twitter.  Most of them are actors or comedians who tweet funny or bizarre things about their lives. Sometimes I comment on what they say…and they actually reply to me.

It’s so cool.

I’ve also added directors of favorite movies and TV shows to my Twitter feed.  They’re fun to follow because they sometimes answer questions via Twitter about their current projects.

I’ve gotten personal responses from them as well.

I’m amassing quite a collection of celeb direct tweets.  From folks like comedian Michael Ian Black (Ed); actor Josh Malina (The West Wing, Sports Night); director Chris Weitz (About a Boy, New Moon); series creator Mike Royce (Everybody Loves Raymond, Men of a Certain Age); and legendary actress Lee Meriwether (Batman, Barnaby Jones).

Lee Meriwether even started following me on Twitter.

(Bet she’s blogging about that right now…)

Fair warning

Weeks before the 2011 Academy Awards hit the air, the producers warned everyone in pre-show interviews that their young hosts weren’t comedians, so we shouldn’t expect jokes.

Anne and James weren’t bringing the funny.

And they were right.  They didn’t.

Anne did bring an overly energetic brightness to the stage that became grating.  Her big number went well, but I’m sure Hugh Jackman is even happier today that he dodged that bullet.

James, on the other hand, was quiet and appeared stoned.  He even had trouble reading the teleprompter.  (Hey, it’s a skill not all people can master.)  I think he regretted taking job #1,714 as soon as he stepped on stage, and his partnership with perky Anne even more so.

Oil and water, those two.

It made me even more grateful for the moments to come in the Oscar acceptance speeches.

Moments of wonderful self-deprecation from Best Actor winner Colin Firth:
“I have a feeling my career’s just peaked.”

…and NYU student Luke Matheny, upon winning the Oscar for Best Live Action Short Film God of Love:
“Oh, I should have got a haircut!”

Entertaining shout-outs to family members, including Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar winner Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network:

“Roxy Sorkin, your father just won the Academy Award, I’m going to insist on some respect from your guinea pig.”

…and Tom Hooper, giving credit to his mother for finding The King’s Speech during his Best Director Oscar acceptance:

“The moral of the story is, listen to your mother.”

And perhaps most inspiring of all — especially for Sticky Eggs like me — were David Seidler’s words upon receiving his Best Screenplay Oscar for “Speech.”

“My father always said to me I would be a late bloomer.  I believe I am the oldest person to win this particular award.  I hope that record is broken quickly and often.”

Now, that’s what we needed to hear.

Ah, dating

I saw “Date Night” last night starring Steve Carell and Tina Fey.

Ignore any mediocre reviews you’ve read.  Trust your instincts about these two and go see it.  It’s really, really funny. (And stay for the credits — there are outtakes.)

Then sit back and be thankful that your worst date doesn’t even compare.

My worst date actually turned out to be one of my favorite stories.

I was in college and met a guy at a good friend’s house.  He came to see me at school one weekend and took me out to dinner at Red Lobster — a big night out.

When we ordered, he asked the waitress if there were nuts in any of his dishes, but she assured him there were not.  (He had a nut allergy.)

Our first course arrived — his rice pilaf, my coleslaw — and we were chatting about whatever.  Suddenly, his eyes got very large and he projectile spit his entire mouthful of rice pilaf all over my face.

Before I could react — get mad or laugh or shake the rice out of my eyebrows — he started yelling,

“Call 9-1-1!  Call 9-1-1!  Call 9-1-1!”

…each more muffled and unintelligible as his throat closed up.

Turns out there were almonds in the rice pilaf.

So, I spent that date in the emergency room, making sure a guy I had only met once before didn’t die.

And I didn’t even get to eat my cheesy bread.

Fickle fat

So, I have decided the current recommended way to revive a lackluster career is to gain a lot of weight and then take it off as a spokesperson for Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers or such.

Look at what it it has done for Valerie Bertinelli and Marie Osmond — both had practically disappeared from the public eye, and now — BAM — everywhere you look, there they are, and  ’50 pounds lighter’ to boot.

And, now even comedians — the ones you’d think would make the biggest fun of this phenomena — are joining in.

Jason Alexander, George from “Seinfeld.”

Nicole Sullivan of “MADtv” and “King of Queens.”

Sara Rue of “Less than Perfect.”

Really?  Is this the only way to get your name back out there?

Or can actors only lose weight when everyone is watching them (or someone is paying them to do it)?

I suppose it’s inspirational on some level.  But mostly, it comes across as desperate.

Oh well…reality shows have trained us to enjoy desperate.

Starve on!