Tag Archives: Edward Cullen

Royal flush

There’s Team Edward and Team Jacob. But in the doll making game…

It’s Team William all the way.

Mattel has released a Barbie and Ken version of William and Kate to commemorate their upcoming one-year wedding anniversary.

As you can see, they have given William a full head of hair — something he doesn’t possess in real life — and strengthened his jawline. And although Kate looks a bit like every Barbie I’ve seen, she’s pretty and her gown is spot-on.

No doll marker would risk offending the royal family.

That clearly wasn’t a concern for the Mattel designer selected to create the dolls that recreate the wedding of Bella and Edward in Twilight Breaking Dawn.

I’m guessing he isn’t a fan of the saga.  And Edward in particular.

His doll’s face is flat and fat, and his hair looks like an old lady’s wig.  I know the white makeup isn’t flatteringly on anyone in the movies, but it eliminates all detail here.

In the words of my friend Tina…

Barf.

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Triple threat

I hesitate to talk “Twilight” in this space…and never two days in a row.

But the premiere of “Eclipse” early this morning — which I attended with 7 million of my closest friends — seems like a worthy exception.

The large number of Twihards at the midnight screening isn’t that surprising.  The reviews are.

Even major papers — like The New York Times and Washington Post — had good things to say about the third installment of the “Twilight” saga.

“A more robustly entertaining film than either of its predecessors…”

“Darker, grittier, and a tad more thought-provoking…”

“If the movies keep improving like this, the people who automatically hate them just because they’re popular with teenage girls will be forced to reconsider.”

Wow.  I don’t think I could have found one sincere compliment about the other films…and these are a just a handful for “Eclipse.”

As for myself, I found the film very different as well.  I’ve always called the “Twilight” movies romances, but “Eclipse” is definitely an action/romance.  The fight sequences are incredible, yet the more emotional moments are handled with just as much care.  Jacob seems more animalistic, Edward more human, Bella more frustrating.

Pretty much by the book.

Sweet tooth

Everyone loves chocolate, right?

(I don’t…but most people do.)

Then I heard food artist Prudence Staite had created a Belgian chocolate sculpture that, in theory, has everything necessary to bring me over to the dark — or milk chocolate — side.

I couldn’t wait to see it.  Then I did.

Really, Prudence?  Is this the best you can do?

You take a face that photogenic and that attractive, and you turn it into a chocolate bust that could very easily be confused for Mozart, Medusa or any number of serial killers at the post office.

Granted, your chocolate tribute — the brain child of LoveFilm in the UK — was designed to give one lucky person the chance to take a bite out of oh-so-popular Edward Cullen of “Twilight” fame.

If the likeness had been better, the winner might have been tempted to keep it forever preserved on a shelf.  But I’m pretty sure they will go ahead and start chomping.

It might even look more like RPatz when they are through!

Should you?

I went to see “Remember Me” this morning….but you knew I would.

The question is — should you?

Actually, there are several reasons to see this movie….really.

First, RPatz looks amazing.  They slam Robert’s face into fists, city streets, walls, floors — you name it — and no matter how bloody and bruised and battered he becomes, the camera still loves him.  Even without his Edward Cullen ‘perfection complexion,’ it is a pleasure to spend two hours looking at him on a really large screen.

Second, despite a too familiar poor-little-rich-boy storyline, the movie is well-acted.  Pattinson and Emilie de Raven have nice chemistry, and while Chris Cooper and Pierce Brosnan’s roles are predictable, you can always count on them to give as good as they get.

Third, if you’ve ever lost someone way too young, the movie’s message does ring true.  How the producers chose to drive it home, however, is highly questionable, and probably one of the biggest complaints that the critics have lodged against it.  They went for shock value, but at what a price.

Am I glad I saw it?  Yes.  Was it better than I expected?  Actually, yes.

Would I recommend to my friends?

Are you a girl?  Absolutely.

New “New Moon”

Roger Ebert hated it.

The New York Times dismissed it as the “big tease that turns into the long goodbye.”  (Gotta love the wordplay.)

And rottentomatoes.com ranked it 29% rotten.

Good work, “Twilight Saga: New Moon.”   You are even less popular with critics than your predecessor, “Twilight,” which more or less confused journalists last fall, scoring 49% on the freshometer.  (Edward actually glamoured the ones that hated it.  Fact.)

Of course, “New Moon” wasn’t filmed, edited and released in less than a year to please the critics.  It was rushed to theatres to capitalize on the pre-teen, teen and cougar crazies who were screaming for more. (I realize I fall within this group, although my self-awareness makes me a shade less scary).

But while I loved the “Twilight” movie and subsequently read all the books, I hated the “New Moon” book.  I know many of my friends felt the same.  Hated that Edward left after just a chapter or two.  Labored through all the werewolf crap ’cause, seriously —  Where the hell was Edward? Of course, I perked up at the end of the book, but if I had encountered Stephenie Meyer on the street at that point, we would have had words.

Director Chris Weitz of “New Moon” knew fans like me were out there, too.  So he made a film that’s better than the book.  No mistake — he stuck to the story more religiously than even the “Twilight” movie did, but his visual interpretation is more satisfying than Meyer’s original text.

How often does that happen?

Now, granted, I saw the movie at midnight at a theatre in my Upper West Side neighborhood, so you might think I’m a tad giddy.  I was worried about staying awake or being coherent.  But when 500 other people are watching a movie with you, and they are just as stoked as you are to be there, it makes for a great movie-going experience.

I had a blast.  I loved the movie.  Story aside, the cinematography, effects and makeup are head-and-shoulders above the original.  It’s just a beautiful movie to watch.

Oh — and Edward doesn’t suck either.

Well, he does.  But, he doesn’t.

Fantasy land

This blog is only a couple of months old, and already I’ve found ways to mention “Twilight” three or four times. I may have stumbled upon the movie by accident, but I have totally bonded with the film, books, and Edward.

Have I been abused for my love of “Twilight?”  Yes.  Have I watched the movie a few times past healthy?  Perhaps.  Have I felt shame for my near obsession?  Mmmmmm…..no.

(Maybe.)

But that has all changed.

Yesterday I spoke with a man who is a member of five fantasy sports leagues.  Five.  Two fantasy football leagues.  Two fantasy baseball leagues.  One fantasy hockey league.  And one fantasy NASCAR league.

Fantasy NASCAR?  I didn’t even know there was fantasy NASCAR.  (And what’s the fantasy?)

If one man can have that many fantasy sports leagues and announce it in front of everyone with no shame, and no thought of reprimand or insult, then I can go ape shit over one measly little vampire film.

Fantasy NASCAR…I mean, seriously.

Waiting is the twi-hardest part

I figured out why people behaving badly is bothering me so much.

I miss Edward. I miss my perfect vampire.

It’s especially hard now that ‘True Blood’ has finished its season, and I can no longer distract myself with icy blond Eric or southern gentleman Bill.  They were always placeholders for Edward — I knew that; we all knew that — but it was an oh, so pleasant way to fill the void.

Now, I’m back to a world crowded with normal, often obnoxious humans.  No pale skin that shimmers in the sunlight.  No singular kiss that can knock me to my knees (or possibly kill). No endless wealth, because, gee, it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich vampire as it is a poor one in these hard economic times.

I know I’m not alone in my twi-longings. The Internet is filled with blogs and boards and sites where fans of the series wax poetic as they count down the days until the premiere of “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” on November 20th.

But today I realized that even my local AMC theatre longs for Edward.  How can I tell?  As I walked my dog past the marquee, where it typically promotes movies currently showing, it displayed:

“Sorority Row,” featuring the trailer for “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Wow.  So, now they’re promoting the trailer for “New Moon.”  They must think we’ll go see anything with Twilight on it.

I mean, I was already planning to see this sure-to-be-a-classic horror film starring Rumor Willis and Audrina Partridge.  The “New Moon” trailer playing at the start has nothing to do with it.

At all.