Tag Archives: grapes

Basket case

If you watch Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson with any regularity — and you know I certainly do — you’ve no doubt noticed…

The fruit basket

It’s Craig’s new way to bid guests good-bye.  Instead of an awkward pause or a big cash prize or a harmonica duet, guests are sent on their way with the exotic fruit of their choice.

After Craig makes an innuendo or two.

Well, today I discovered a new fruit that absolutely needs to be added to that basket.  Heck, you could fill the whole thing with ’em — they are that perfect for Craig’s sense of humor.

Meet the rambutan.

It grows in Southeast Asia, looks like a cousin of the Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors, and is reportedly sweet and sour and slightly grape-like and gummy to the taste.

But I’m pretty sure Craig would just be excited that they look like little hair balls.

Creepy alien-looking hairy balls.

A little ade

And now for something really important…

Grape soda.

It’s one of my favorite drinks from childhood.  The taste is sweet and sharp, so unlike that of a real grape.  The same goes for its intense purple color that smacks of artificial dyes.

Unforgettable.

So, why isn’t a diet grape soda readily available in supermarkets?

It’s easy enough to find diet orange soda; Crush and Sunkist both make tasty versions that are distributed nationwide.  But those same brands — which produce grape sodas — do not make a diet grape soda.

Why not?  Doesn’t it stand to reason that people who drink grape soda might also drink a diet version if it were available?

Has some special focus group or secret research revealed that our grape taste buds wither and die once we reach a certain age?  I know mine certainly haven’t…and I’m old.   The only thing that has changed is my willingness to swallow all the calories in full-strength sodas.  If I’m gonna drink grape soda at all, it’s gonna have to be diet.

So, Crush, Sunkist — I’m appealing to you because you are the national brands with the widest distribution.  Create a diet grape soda and put it out on the market.  Heck, my consumption alone will make it worth your while.

Remember, all grown-ups were kids once…and its our ‘inner child’ who still decides what we drink.