Tag Archives: insects

Mite not

mattress
I just read on the Interwebs that the average household mattress contains 2 million dust mites.

I don’t share this because misery loves company.

I just wonder:

Where did dust mites live before mattresses were invented?

Mattresses with linen or cotton covers didn’t appear until the mid-18th century.  Were dust mites nomadic before that time?  Did man’s invention change their way of life?  Make them fat and lazy?

Are dust mites bigger and scarier now then they used to be??

I won’t be sleeping tonight.

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Lady luck

When it comes to bugs, I earned my wimp card years ago.

I’m not a fan.

But the ladybug?  That’s one very different beetle.  It’s cute, it eats a lot of harmful insects and it’s lucky.  (That’s a scientific fact.)

If you like ladybugs too, you might consider this Ladybug Nightlight that my friend Stephanie sells at Stoopher & Boots on the Upper West Side.

Look at that face.

And you might stop reading right now.  Because the rest of this post on ladybugs will freak you out.  It did me.

Hungarian Artist Gabor Fulop also likes ladybugs.  A lot. So much so that he created 20,000 and hand-painted them.

He then applied his ladybug creations to a  sculpture of the human form, forcing viewers to imagine what it would feel like to have ladybugs crawling over every inch of their bodies.

Me?  I wouldn’t feel lucky at all.

A bit buggy

If the insect world has a ‘hot list,’ bed bugs are at the top.  They are the most talked about, Googled, and feared of the creepie crawlies.

(They’re like Lindsay Lohan…but with better spin control.)

So I was surprised to discover how under-utilized bed bugs have been in movies, television and books. Did we just realize how gross and scary these mattress mites are?

I can only find one movie featuring the critters on imdb.com — aptly titled “Bed Bugs” — and it’s a 17-minute short produced in 2006, years before the recent hysteria, seemingly fueled by a combination of increased international travel and  — shall we say — inconsistent hygiene.

But now that people are totally spooked — ripping back the sheets at the finest hotels and even checking theater seats for ‘lint that moves’ — I think it’s time to step up the infiltration of bed bugs in pop culture as well.

We need bed bugs as…

  • spokes critters on Hallmark greeting cards
  • cartoon villains on Saturday morning TV
  • main characters in children’s books
  • monsters in horror films — perhaps the next “Saw” movie?
  • or even as sidekicks for Ryan Seacrest.  (Hey — “American Idol” can’t get much worse, right?)

The possibilities are endless!  Everyone in the creative community can do their part.

(If only Lindsay’s career had as many avenues for success…)