This commercial just aired during the Dancing with the Stars results show:
So…is Matthew trying to sell Lincolns, or creep us out?
I feel like I need to take a shower.
Be right back.
I’ve never wondered before why the lights are blue on Radio City Music Hall.
Tonight they could have served as a signal —
Craig Ferguson is in the house…and things are gonna get dirty.
They actually went blue before Craig made it on stage. His warm-up act, Josh Robert Thompson — the voice of Geoff Peterson, the gay robot skeleton on The Late Late Show — did 20 minutes of impressions. His take on Morgan Freeman, Matthew McConaughey, Regis Philban and Liam Neeson had a common theme…
They were all talking while having sex.
(Josh did apologize to his mother, who was in the audience.)
But of course, Craig never says he’s sorry. He made fun of Nazis, Canadians and his beloved Shark Week. He spent a lot of time visiting and revisiting his favorite parts of the female anatomy. His set had energy and profanity and, as always, at least one joke.
So glad I was in on it.
On this Presidents’ Day holiday, I find myself pondering a question of suitable gravity:
Why have I never played paintball?
I went to see This Means War, starring Reese Witherspoon, last night. One of the two CIA agents vying for her affections took her to play paintball. Of course she misfired a round and got him in his manly parts.
Oh, the sting of high comedy.
Matthew McConaughey also took Sarah Jessica Parker to play paintball in Failure to Launch. Lucky for Matthew, she hit one of his friends in the foot. And Heath Ledger took Julia Stiles paintballin’ way back in the day in the teen flick Ten Things I Hate About You.
No misfires there…except my admitting I saw it.
I can kind of see the appeal; target practice is fun. But those paintballs look like they really hurt on contact. And most people seem to be incredibly bad shots.
Hey — I just figured out why I don’t play paintball.