Tag Archives: military service

Military mirth

HAPPY VETERAN’S DAY!

This holiday makes me think of — and be extremely thankful for — all the men and women from every branch of the military, past and present.

I discovered yesterday that a friend of mine in the neighborhood was a former MARINE.  Since my oldest brother is a retired ARMY Lt. Colonel, I’ve heard a few good-natured jokes over the years about MARINES…so I asked my friend if the humor runs both ways.

The man turned into a stand-up comic.

So in honor of the day, I thought I would share a few jokes about all branches of the military.  (I’m sure none of them would want to be left out.)

ARMY
Doesn’t ARMY stand for Ain’t Really Men Yet?

MARINES
An Airman in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a MARINE joke?” The guy replies, “I am a MARINE. The huge guy sitting next to me is a MARINE. The big fella next to him is also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?” The Airman says, “Nah. I don’t want to have to explain it three times.”

NAVY
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the NAVY, son?”
“My father said it’d be a good idea, Sir.”
“Oh? And what does your father do?”
“He’s in the ARMY, Sir.”

AIR FORCE
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He’ll tell you.

Q: What’s the difference between God and fighter pilots?
A: God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.

Q: What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

Good stuff.

Have you heard one from your family or friends? Add it in the comments section.

Happy day

One of my happiest memories is the day my brother Kent returned from the first Persian Gulf War.

They bussed the friends and family members to the airstrip.  My godfather Joe, who owns a printing business outside Chicago, had created four beautiful red, white and blue placards that spelled out Kent’s name, and my sister, brother and I were holding them en route.

All I could think during that short ride was “this long nightmare is almost over.”

We gathered on the tarmac, the placards in hand.  After interminable minutes, the Pan Am jet appeared on the horizon, and the crowd started cheering.  Once it landed, two doorways opened and the soldiers started to deplane.  I remember being surprised that they still had on their helmets, rifles in hand.

But I still recognized my brother in an instant.

On this Memorial Day, I wish every service man and woman and their families a similar happy day.