Tag Archives: pineapple

Line ’em up

Sometimes life is chaotic, and it’s nice to have a sense of order…

Even if it is only in your fruits and vegetables.

Brittany Wright is a photographer based in Seattle who is teaching herself to cook ‘anything and everything’ and, lucky for us, is documenting her efforts on her very colorful, very orderly Instagram account.

Here’s a peek at some of her artwork.

bloodoranges

rainbowchard

pineapples

I feel more zen already.

Dole out the pain

You know the pineapple, the international symbol of welcome and hospitality?

A Michigan man used one to knock his wife unconscious at their home last weekend.

When questioned by police, the woman — the pineapple victim — wouldn’t cooperate beyond providing her husband’s basic information.

Leave it to a man to turn fruit into a weapon.  But why pineapple, previously only associated with luaus and fruit salad and tacky bed-and-breakfast decor?

Granted, it’s big and beefy, and the outer shell would leave an interesting mark on someone’s face when it makes impact.  Plus, once you’re finished using it as a battering ram, the outside layer should be easy to cut away…so you can enjoy the juicy fruit within.

Now that I think about it, it’s genius.

Goo goo

What the flarp?

No, seriously — do you know what ‘flarp’ is?

I encountered this word yesterday for the very first time in an article online.  Thanks to the all-knowing, all-seeing Google, I soon learned that flarp is a liquid-like goo that makes a fart noise when you stick your hand in it.

Brilliant.

Flarp no doubt has a lot of admirers amongst the pre-teen set.  But what makes flarp rise above the farts it attempts to mimic is it smells good.  In fact, it comes in no less than six fruity aromas — orange, lemon, banana, strawberry, pineapple and grape.

You can see how that would beat the real thing every time.

Obviously, flarp entered the scene long after my childhood had passed.  When I was a kid, we were all about Silly Putty.  Silly Putty didn’t make any noise to speak of, and it came in only one color/smell combo — putty grey.

You could copy newspaper print and comics with Silly Putty.  Remember newspapers?  That stuff we used to read before the Internet?

You’re using your flarp right now to make fun of me…aren’t you?

Pfffttt!